For My Military Readers

RESOLVE is looking for women and men currently serving in the military or who have served in the military and who are facing infertility. We are asking you to create and send a video of your personal story for RESOLVE to show when meeting with Members of Congress about the Family Act—a bill in both the House and Senate that would provide a tax-credit for out-of-pocket expenses associated with IVF.

We are looking for couples who are currently facing this type of situation:

1. You and your spouse have been diagnosed with infertility.

2. You have been told that IVF is the best course of treatment for your infertility.

3. You are unable to pursue IVF because of the cost associated with the treatment.

If interested in creating a video for RESOLVE, please contact Rebecca Flick at rflick@resolve.org and she’ll send you more details, including how to upload videos. Videos must be completed and sent to RESOLVE by May 16th.

24 Weeks

 How big is baby? The size of a grapefruit.
Symptoms: Thirst, peeing, tender abodomen, stretch marks on breasts, stuffy nose, fatigue
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +16
Maternity Clothes: Yup. I need more. Just waiting for the weather to warm up so I can buy cute, flowy dresses!
Sleep: Much better. I'm currently sleeping with two body pillows and a few other regular pillows. It might also have to do with the fact that I've had a bed to myself for a week and a half. That will all end when Mike gets home in a few days.
Best Moment This Week: VIABILITY day and Operation Homefront Baby Shower
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots! I love it.
Food Cravings: Chips and dip.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? It's so shallow that it's barely there anymore. I wonder if it will pop out.
 What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery and starting to buy the little things we still need.
Next Appointment: 11 May
Milestones: VIABILITY!!!

So this weekend has been full of some pretty fun stuff for me so far. Friday was an amazing day because I knew that it meant we had reached viability. If for some reason this little girl comes out of me earlier than expected she will now at least have a fighting chance of survival. Sure, she'd need a lot of help and would spend a lot of time in the NICU but she'd have a shot at least and that is a huge relief.

Last night I went over to Mike's commander's house for a little get together. All our husbands are away training right now so the commander's wife thought it'd be a good  time to get the ladies together to celebrate the babies to be born in our troop. There were four of us who showed up. One due next month and the other three of us in August. Three were expecting girls and just one was expecting a baby boy. 

Delta Troop Mamas

The sun was actually shining today so Zero and I went for a little walk around the parade field. I can't handle both dogs at once right now.

Today I had the awesome experience of going to a baby shower hosted by Operation Homefront of Washington. There were 150+ mamas at this event--talk about a lot of estrogen! The organization got donations from various businesses, churches, etc. and was able to put on this great shower for us! There were strollers, diapers, car seats, bouncers, clothing, bassinets, furniture--you name it! We ate lunch and played bingo, they had a guest speaker and raffle prizes. It was a great time and there was so much generosity and love for our military families.

Everyone got a reusable grocery bag with a comfy robe for the hospital, some peppermint patties, disposable diapers (which I will be re-gifting) a coupon booklet for things to do in the area and a few gender gently used specific outfits. I ended up winning a high chair (score!) and at the end of the event they had tables we could go through and pick whatever we want. I ended up picking up some newborn disposable diapers (to get through the meconium phase) a Skip Hop diaper bag and a bunch of various books. Some are breastfeeding and motherhood books and the others are children's books. I made it to my car in two trips--one to carry the high chair and the other to carry the rest of my loot. Some women were having to strap bassinets to the roofs of cars because their trunks were so full. It was insane! I still can't believe the generosity! I don't know how the other women felt (some of them were very gift grabby) but I know that I really appreciated having someone do this for me. I will not be having a baby shower since most of my family is on the other side of the country and I don't have many close friends here so this event was very, very much appreciated by me! I'm going to go write them a thank you card right now....

Yay For Being Pro-Active!

I've found an OB, a doula who sounds wonderful and like she's going to be a really great asset in the delivery room and I've had all my Tricare questions answered. I'm feeling much less apprehensive about the move to Alabama. The only thing that is still freaking me out is moving so late in my pregnancy, but we really don't have any control over that.  I chose the OB based on the recommendation from my doula (he tends to be more open minded about natural birth and doing things that are not the "norm" for down there) as well as reading other things about him online.  I called the OB in Alabama and it was a total failure at first. I heard the girl on the voice mail and immediately started laughing because of her accent. I'm not used to that thick southern accent at ALL and it's definitely going to take some getting used to. Second attempt went well though and my first appointment with the OB will be the week we get there--I'll be exactly 35 weeks pregnant. Eek. God, please don't let the baby come on our 2,800 mile journey! Please, please, please!

So I had a few people comment about my natural birth plan yesterday. I emailed it to my doula, Stephanie, and she was able to give me some really great suggestions. She sounds like a really great person and I think having her by my side during labor and delivery is going to make a huge difference.  I thought I'd share the changes so anyone else who may be considering a natural birth can also learn a thing or two!

***********************************************************************************

Hi, Megan!

I have read your birth plan, and I think we have the same attitude towards alot of things. However, I would caution against saying the word "unnecessary" at all. To the medical professionals, they would never do anything unnecessary, and everything they recommend is (in their opinion) necessary. So they might not understand what you mean. You could try wording things like this: I prefer to continue laboring without Pitocin unless my baby is showing distress patterns on the fetal monitors. Or, try: I request a second opinion if my physician recommends a cesarean. And, again, you could say: I would like to follow the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists' recommendation of not inducing labor except at 42 weeks or beyond. I would love to go through this with you in person, because I want you to know where my heart is--I don't want to criticize at all, but I can provide alot of suggestions to improve how your dr and nurses will perceive your requests. So, although it seems like I am making alot of suggestions, I am just trying to help. Here we go...

I do not want to be induced unless there is a risk to the baby or myself. Your phyisicians will think there is a "risk" to the baby or yourself even if you or I don't think so. So, I would say, I plan on not inducing until after 42 weeks, in accordance with ACOG's recommendations (believe me, around here you will be the exception if you make it to 40 or 41 weeks; so even if you don't want to be induced at all, I would toss the doctors a "bone" by saying you will consider inducing after 42. It doesn't mean you will, though :-). )

 

Home Labor Goals

I would like to labor at home as long as possible, with our doula present, before going to the hospital. I don't think anyone would have a problem with this, or even be concerned at all about what you do before you come into the hospital. You could leave this out in the interest of making your list short and sweet. "Brevity is the soul of wit", right?

Hospital Labor Goals

• We plan to have myself, my husband and doula present. Please turn away all visitors and unnecessary staff until we have had time alone with our baby. You probably won't have visitors unless you invite them, so you could just leave this one off if you wanted to. But if you wanted to include the unnecessary staff part, you could say, "I would like to limit the number of people in our room as much as possible".
• We are attempting to have a natural, un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention. I would put this at the top of the paper, right underneath your name, your spouse's/partner's name, your doula's name, your obstetrician's name, and your estimated due date. I also wouldn't say "unnecessary" because they will read it and think, "Well of course! I don't want to have to give you pitocin either, but sometimes we must. Why would she put that in here since we agree about it?" I think they will miss the point that we don't want medications, operative deliveries, an episiotomy, and other medical practices at all unless the baby will die or be harmed otherwise. I like to include a sentence that says "I do not consent to a cesarean delivery based on fears of what might happen to my baby if we don't. I only consent to a cesarean delivery if my baby is showing distress on the monitors and if there is a time-sensitive emergency. If there is time for me to wait for an operating suite, watch a consent video, or wait for my personal doctor to arrive to do the surgery, then it is not a time-sensitive emergency." You could say the same thing and put "induction" or "episiotomy" or whatever you want in there. Have you read the sample birth plan on my website? It might be of help to you.
• We understand that there are procedures which may become necessary. For the sake of keeping it short and sweet, I would leave this out.
• Please do not offer me pain medications or ask me to rate my pain. I like this one.
• Except in the case of an emergency, we ask that we be given the opportunity to accept or refuse any procedure or medication. I think this one is understood by both parties, so I would leave it out or say something like: "We reserve the right to refuse any procedure or medication." and remember, you do always have that right--even in the case of emergency.
• We request that the least invasive or restricting versions of procedures be used. I would be more specific. You could say: "I prefer limited vaginal exams and infrequent fetal monitoring with a doppler or fetoscope instead of the electronic fetal monitor."
• I prefer to have minimal monitoring and limited vaginal exams. Hahah, I just saw this one. Okay, omit one of the two.
• I prefer not to have any unnecessary medications or interventions. I wouldn't say unnecessary, so I would leave this one out.
• I would like to the opportunity to be up and moving around as much as possible during labor. I think this is a given, but you could include it if you would like. Or, you could say something like "I plan on walking as much as I feel able" instead of saying "I would like the opportunity to".
• Delivery Goals

• I would like to push at my own pace (Mother-directed pushing.) To clarify what this means to the staff down here, I would be more specific. They might not have ever heard of or know what it means to say "Mother-directed". You could say, "During pushing, I plan on breathing and pushing to my own comfort unless distress is shown in the baby's heartrate. Please refrain from counting for me to hold my breath or from encouraging me to push hard, harder, or as hard as I can."
• I do not want an episiotomy unless medically necessary. I prefer to try perineal massage and a warm compress first. I might say, "I would prefer to tear naturally instead of having an episiotomy. I would like warm compresses and lubricating jelly on my perineum during pushing. To minimize tearing, I would like to push in positions that do not include lying on my back."
• I would prefer to push in whatever position is comfortable for me, rather than the traditional back and stirrups position. They don't use stirrups much anymore except as a footrest for you between contractions if you would like them. And if you don't want to be pushing on your back, then I would leave this part out.
  If labor seems to be stalling I would like the option to try different positions to get the baby to come down (hands and knees, squatting, birthing ball, etc.) I like this one, but I would say "I would like to try..." instead of "I would like the option to try..." just because we don't want to be wordy.
• Upon delivery I would like the baby to placed on my chest right away. I would like to have at least 1 hour of skin-to-skin contact before the baby is taken away for measurements. Great!
  
• I prefer to breastfeed our baby as soon as possible after delivery. I prefer not to be disturbed until after the first feeding. I like this one. You could say at the end of the second sentence: "Including uterine massage,blood pressure measurements (unless I show danger signs of drops in blood pressure), and post-delivery pitocin.
• We prefer to wait to cut the cord for 1-2 minutes or until it has stopped pulsating. Please offer my husband the opportunity to cut the cord. It should be much longer than 1-2 minutes before it stops pulsating. I would say something like "until the baby's breathing is well established, the cord is limp and empty, and the cord blood has completely transfused to my baby" to make it specific.
• Please retain my placenta for encapsulation. Great! They will require you to bring your own ziplock bags (bring 2 or 3 large (2-gallon) size bags so we can doublebag or triplebag your placenta, and bring your own cooler and icepack.
• I would like my doula to be allowed to take photos during the entire labor and delivery process.

If a Cesarean Becomes Necessary:

• I would like to be conscious with my husband and doula in the room. I would leave out the conscious part because almost all cesareans are with a conscious mother except in a true emergency where there isn't time to place an epidural catheter and they have to "put you under". They only use general anesthesia in real time-sensitive emergencies, and I would hope that you would consent to that. But you can leave this part in if you would like to state it, but I think the conscious part is understood. I would keep in the part about my husband and doula in the room.
• I would still like to nurse our baby as soon as possible and for my placenta to be retained. Great!

Recovery Goals

• I would like the baby to room in with us rather than in a centralized nursery. This is pretty understood. SAMC (the Southeast Alabama Medical Center) only has a centralized nursery if you ask for it. All other times, the baby is required to room-in with you. You could leave this part out.
• I would like either my husband or myself to be present for baby's first bath. They preform the bath right there in the delivery room, so you both will be there. You could leave this out.
• I would like to establish a strong breastfeeding relationship. Please do not introduce a bottle or pacifier without notifying us of a medical reason. Great!
• I would like to meet with a lactation consultant to have breastfeeding techniques checked. I would specify "meet with an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant before being discharged". They have plenty of "lactation consultants" on staff who took a weekend course decades ago and who don't know what they are talking about, but they only have one IBCLC who is a medical care provider who specializes in lactation.

Fort Rucker Bound

So it's semi-official. We are heading to Fort Rucker! Mike's reenlistment paperwork was turned in yesterday and we should get the "official" word from Uncle Sam in the next several days. His estimated report date is 10 July, so about 5 weeks before my due date. Eek! We are so excited about this new adventure in Army life. I am looking forward to warm weather and being back within driving distance of more family members.  I'm even more excited that Mike won't be deploying for a long time! We've waited so long for this little girl and it will be so special to keep our family so Mike can witness all her big firsts.  What I am a little (a lot) apprehensive about is not only traveling 2,800 miles at 33 weeks pregnant but also giving birth in a very anti-natural birth climate.


Throughout this entire pregnancy I have had a pretty specific vision of how I hope my labor and delivery to go. This is very likely going to be our only child and I would really love to experience everything that labor brings. I know some people will call me naive or even ridiculous for having such a long list of goals and wishes but I am determined to do my best to make it happen. I am not totally opposed to the use of drugs or interventions, especially if my baby's in danger, but I would definitely like to try to labor naturally first. This wasn't going to be an issue with my current midwife--she will allow me to walk around during labor, eat, use the tub for pain management and push in whatever position feels comfortable to me rather than what is convenient for her.  I have had some incredibly painful tests during my infertility journey and it was so hard to be still while I was in such pain. I can't imagine being in that much pain for hours and being required to lay flat on my back.  In Alabama, midwives are illegal. Yes, you read that right. Midwives are not allowed to attend hospital births and can be prosecuted for attending out-of-hospital births. While I'm not interested in a home birth, I think it should be a choice left up to the parents and not a choice forced on them by state legislation. There is not a single free standing birth center in the entire state of Alabama.

Anyway, I've started my research and found out that there are two hospitals that serve the Fort Rucker area. Flowers Hospital and Southeast Alabama Medical Center. Based off the websites alone, I am leaning toward SE Alabama Medical Center because of the way the birthing suites (complete with jacuzzi tubs!) are set up. Flowers doesn't even mention having tubs and that's important to me. When it comes to choosing an OB, I haven't got a clue. I currently know one woman who is living down there and her OB induced her on her due date because she (the OB) was going out of town and my friend was anxious to meet her baby.  Some people might think, "What's wrong with that?" but I personally feel that induction just for the hell of it can lead to potential problems for your baby and that you're almost guaranteed to have a snowball effect of interventions. For this reason, I do not want to be induced unless there is a valid medical reason or baby or I are at risk.
Mike and I had talked about hiring a doula when I first became pregnant. We felt like it would be unnecessary here because my midwife and hospital were so supportive of the type of labor I am hoping for. We thought we'd be able to handle labor and delivery with just the two of us and I liked the idea of Mike being my sole support system during all of it. Now they're we're moving cross country at such a late stage in my pregnancy, with little time to develop a relationship with an OB, we have readdressed the doula issue and have decided to hire one. We feel like she will be a tremendous help in the delivery room when it comes to advocating our wishes to the staff and helping us be successful with our goals. Mike and I won't be able to attend any child birth classes with the timing of our move and upcoming training he has so a doula will be a great resource for relaxation and pain management techniques. She won't take the place of Mike but will be there to guide him to fill the supportive role I will need during labor and delivery. I've already contacted a doula and received a response! She doesn't really care for any of the OBs down there but suggested one that I was actually considering because someone else suggested that he was natural birth friendly. She said he's allowed her clients to eat/drink, walk around, refuse IV meds, use only intermittent fetal monitoring, etc.  Since I won't have a lot of time to "interview" OBs once we get down there I guess I will have to make an informed decision based on the opinions of others. I've made a list of my labor and delivery goals to help me figure out exactly what I'm hoping to find in an OB. Wish me luck!


Home Labor Goals
I would like to labor at home as long as possible, with our doula present, before going to the hospital.

Hospital Labor Goals

• We plan to have myself, my husband and doula present. Please turn away all visitors and unnecessary staff until we have had time alone with our baby.
• We are attempting to have a natural, un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention.
• We understand that there are procedures which may become necessary.
• Please do not offer me pain medications or ask me to rate my pain.
• Except in the case of an emergency, we ask that we be given the opportunity to accept or refuse any procedure or medication.
• We request that the least invasive or restricting versions of procedures be used.
• I prefer to have minimal monitoring and limited vaginal exams.
• I prefer not to have any unnecessary medications or interventions.
• I would like to the opportunity to be up and moving around as much as possible during labor.

Delivery Goals

• I would like to push at my own pace (Mother-directed pushing.) 
• I do not want an episiotomy unless medically necessary. I prefer to try perineal massage and a warm compress first.
• I would prefer to push in whatever position is comfortable for me, rather than the traditional back and stirrups position. 
• If labor seems to be stalling I would like the option to try different positions to get the baby to come down (hands and knees, squatting, birthing ball, etc.)
• Upon delivery I would like the baby to placed on my chest right away. I would like to have at least 1 hour of skin-to-skin contact before the baby is taken away for measurements.
• I prefer to breastfeed our baby as soon as possible after delivery. I prefer not to be disturbed until after the first feeding.
• We prefer to wait to cut the cord for 1-2 minutes or until it has stopped pulsating. Please offer my husband the opportunity to cut the cord. 
• Please retain my placenta for encapsulation.
• I would like my doula to be allowed to take photos during the entire labor and delivery process.

If a Cesarean Becomes Necessary:

• I would like to be conscious with my husband and doula in the room. I would still like to nurse our baby as soon as possible and for my placenta to be retained.

Recovery Goals

• I would like the baby to room in with us rather than in a centralized nursery.
• I would like either my husband or myself to be present for baby's first bath.
• I would like to establish a strong breastfeeding relationship. Please do not introduce a bottle or pacifier without notifying us of a medical reason. 
• I would like to meet with a lactation consultant to have breastfeeding techniques checked.
  
  
  
  

20 Weeks Bumpdate

20 Weeks and Half Baked

How big is baby? The size of a cantaloupe.
Symptoms: Acne and horrible constipation. Headaches if I don't drink enough water and I get worn out pretty easily. I started using Bio Oil and so far I haven't had any new stretch marks on my boobs but they're starting to get really itchy! I haven't thrown up in three weeks thanks to my new BFFF, Zofran.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: No clue. I know I've gained more now that I am able to eat!
Maternity Clothes: All the time except my pajamas. My bump has really come out to play!
Sleep: I am sleeping much better these days. I love snuggling my body pillow. I think I should name him.
Best Moment This Week: Feeling outside baby kicks!!
Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: I am pretty sure I can tell her when she's awake now. I can definitely feel her moving around in there and every now and then I will feel an outside kick. Best.feeling.ever.
Food Cravings: I'm not really craving things but when I get hungry I HAVE to eat right away because I'm absolutely ravenous and you don't want to even talk to me until I'm fed.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? Still in but getting more and more shallow every day.
What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Our big ultrasound on 4/3. I can't wait to see our baby girl on screen again.
Next Appointment: 4/3 for our big ultrasound.
Weekly Wisdom: Seriously, don't skimp on the water intake.
Milestones: Mike commented that my belly now sticks out farther than my boobs--does that count? Outside baby kicks. I LOVE it.

Bare belly at 20 weeks.

I can hardly believe I am officially halfway there!! Some days it's still hard to believe that I'm actually pregnant, let alone halfway finished with my pregnancy. We will be bringing home a baby girl in a just a few months. INSANE! I have been struggling with that a little bit this pregnancy--denial.  I know I'm pregnant but infertility has left me scarred and fear of loss has prevented me from getting too terribly attached, I think. I feel guilty for saying that but it's true. Self preservation maybe? However, now that I'm feeling her more and more and we're really beginning to get things ready for her arrival I am happy to say that I am feeling much more connected to my baby. I LOVE being pregnant and will definitely be sad when this incredibly special time is over. For those of you who are wondering, no we don't have a name picked out yet.  We have an idea of names we like but we're not going to name her until we meet her and we're keeping our choices a secret. You won't know our LO's name until she's introduced to the interwebs.

I finally went through and washed the clothes our friends gave us. Check out baby girl's closet now! Newborn and 0-3 month clothing is on top and the bottom to bars are 3-6 month clothing. Wow! All I have to say is that she'd better still be a girl at my ultrasound on Tuesday!!!

Earlier this week I was actually feeling well enough to head to the gym for a long walk on the treadmill. The weather here is still pretty crappy (40s and raining) and I hate the cold so to the gym we went! I don't think my Seattle Sounders shirt is going to fit much longer!! My bump has really come out these past few weeks. Thank GOODNESS no strangers have tried to touch me yet because I don't think they'd like what I'd do back to them very much.

This week and weekend has been rather exciting and eventful. First, Mike find out that Fort Rucker, AL is available as a re-enlistment option.  It wasn't on our list originally but since starting my research I really haven't heard any drawbacks to the place. I love being close to my brother (he's only an hour away in Seattle) but Rucker would be within driving distance of both sets of this little one's grandparents as well as both my sisters.....and only SEVEN hours from Walt Disney World (if you're a long time follower of my blog then you'll know this is very exciting!)  Mike's been in the Army for 8 years and we've been at Fort Drum and Fort Lewis--both duty stations have gorgeous summers but are less than desirable the other parts of the year. I can't imagine being stuck inside with a toddler here for 9 months out of the year because all it does is rain.  It would be absolutely lovely to live somewhere with sunshine and warm weather for a change. The biggest thing drawing us to Rucker right now is the fact that it comes with stabilization for at least two years. Stabilization = no deployments. With a baby girl on the way, one we've waited a very long time for, this sounds absolutely amazing. Of course I'm a little (a lot) nervous about living in that part of the country, surrounded by uber conservative bible thumpers, but I would live almost anywhere if it meant keeping our family together. A deployment will be hard no matter when it happens but I think it's really important for him to be here for all the first big milestones. Here's the scary part--we don't know when we'd move. It could before the baby comes or it could be right after. I'm not sure which is scarier--the prospect of moving in the third trimester or with a newborn and four animals. We should know more tomorrow once he talks to his retention officer. Please send happy thoughts that it works out for our family!

On Friday my sister in law, the one who is expecting twins, was taken to the ER for bleeding. She got off the bus and by the time she walked three doors down to her house there was blood all over her jeans. My brother called me in a panic on his way home to pick her up. The ER doc was able to find the babies' heart beats right away but they admitted her for observation and an ultrasound. She was admitted around 8 on Friday evening and didn't see a doctor again until around 3 Saturday afternoon. Isn't that absolutely ridiculous? Very thankfully, the babies and SIL are healthy and well. They think her bleed was caused by partial placenta previa and seems to be a one time thing--hopefully! She's on bed rest for the next 3-4 days but I'm sure she's okay with that, considering the alternative. How scary!

Today we had to make an emergency trip to the vet with our eight year old lab/husky mix, Zero. One of the great things about our new house on post is that there are lots of squirrels for our girls to chase. The downside is that sometimes our aging pups get a little too rambunctious. Today was one of those days for poor Zero. We heard a yelp from the yard and didn't notice anything at first but then I saw that there was blood dripping from Zero's paw. Mike tried to take a closer look but she wouldn't let him touch it. The bleeding wouldn't stop and we knew we needed to take her to the vet right away. She tracked blood all over the vet's office and actually had to be put in two different rooms because she got so much blood on the floor of the first one. The vet bandaged her up to try to get the bleeding to stop so they could anesthetize her to take a better look. They thought she might have lacerated her nail and paid and would need some stitches. Other than the first yelp of pain, she wasn't acting abnormally. She was her normal, happy, goofy self in the office.




We left her there and went home for a few hours, waiting for news. She ended up ripping her nail completely (we think she got it caught on the fence when she was trying to get to the squirrel) to the bed so they clipped it down and cauterized the wound. No stitches, thankfully. Her pad and paw are fine. She's on pain meds and antibiotics and has to wear The Cone of Shame for the next 7 days. She seems to be okay though--as soon as we got her home she went to the door and wanted to go out and chase the squirrels again! Her paw is bandaged and she has a little plastic booty we have to put on her when she goes outside to potty. Poor, poor pup! At least she's okay. Hopefully the remainder of this weekend will be uneventful and we can relax!

Cone of Shame

12 Weeks

How big is baby? The size of a plum. I think I'm finally starting to look pregnant instead of looking like I ate too much pizza!
Symptoms: The insomnia is back and I'm still having the horrible gagging (not nearly as bad though--I only three up a handful of times this week) and headaches almost daily.
Total weight gain/loss: 1-2 pounds
Maternity clothes? Jeans and a few shirts.
Sleep: I'm up every 2 hours (at least) to pee and it seems like I'm waking up every morning around 0230-0300 and not able to fall back asleep until after Mike leaves for PT around 0530. Blech.
Best moment this week: Being offered a house on post and realizing it will be our baby's first home!
Movement: Nope but I can't wait!
Food cravings: No real cravings but my appetite is coming back.
Gender: Not yet but we'll hopefully be finding out in a few weeks!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Brushing my teeth without gagging and throwing up.
What I am looking forward to: Feeling the baby move.
Next Appointment: 2/16 to meet my midwife
Weekly Wisdom: Always keep a plastic bag in your purse, just in case. I ended up needing mine in the middle of the freezer aisle at Fred Meyer this week.
Milestones: According to my book, "Pregnancy Day By Day" I am officially in the second tri! I also got to stop the PIO injections last Saturday--woooohooo!

12 week bump

Front of the house

Back of the house--we'll be putting up a fence for the girls

Good news on the housing front: While we did not get our first choice (new housing) we were offered another house this week--a duplex with a garage and we're just thankful we won't be homeless at the end of the month. It's within walking distance of where Mike does PT, the hangar, commissary, PX, etc. I think it will be a comfortable home for us and we sign for it next week. It hit me last night that this house will be our baby's first home. Surreal! It's going to be crazy these next few weeks!

11w3d

11w1d

How big is baby? About two inches from head to rump--the size of a key lime.
Symptoms: Still gagging/vomiting thought not nearly as much--what a relief. I have some pretty persistent headaches and I have to pee all the time.
Total weight gain/loss: 1-2 pounds
Maternity clothes? Jeans and a few shirts.
Sleep: I'm up every 2 hours (at least) to pee.
Best moment this week: Seeing the baby again and graduating from the RE!
Movement: Every now and then I feel fluttery but I'm pretty sure it's just gas.
Food cravings: Oh Lord. Didn't you read my post about Arby's Roast Beef Sandwiches?
Gender: We decided to schedule an early detection ultrasound. Hopefully we'll be finding out in about five weeks!
Labor Signs: Nope.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Brushing my teeth without gagging and throwing up.
What I am looking forward to: Feeling the baby move.
Next Appointment: 2/16 to meet my midwife
Weekly Wisdom: Definitely don't get lazy with your water intake.
Milestones:  First external ultrasound, graduating from the RE and my intake appointment with the midwife clinic.


Today I had my intake appointment at the midwife clinic. As we were driving around looking for the medical complex I looked out the window, saw the hospital and said to Mike, "I can't believe I'm looking at the hospital where we're going to have a BABY!" It's a very funky looking building--reminds me of something from a futuristic movie or something.

I liked the vibe of the clinic, although most places will have a better vibe than a military hospital, right? The first thing I had to do was give a urine sample--no big deal, right? Yeah...I dropped the specimen cup in the toilet. That's never happened to me before and believe me, I've peed in my fair share of cups! I had to cut myself off mid-stream, fish the cup out of the toilet (EWWW!) wash my hands and go back to the front desk to ask for a replacement sterile cup. Talk about embarrassing.  The LPN who took my history was very vibrant and animated and put us right at ease. I was given the choice of four midwives and ultimately ended up going with a Yale graduate (Hellooooo smarty pants!) based on this little blurb about her, "Christina delivers care that is both personalized and holistic, taking into account a woman's physical, emotional and spiritual health, as well as her preferences for pregnancy and birth.  She is experienced in assisting women with uncomplicated pregnancies that are safe and nurturing.  All along each patient's journey into motherhood, she welcomes and supports family involvement." I have my first appointment with my midwife on the 16th of February and I'm super excited to talk to her about all my birth options.

The LPN sent us across the street to the hospital to get blood drawn but not before sending us home with a bunch of goodies:


Even the guy at the lab was super courteous and a lot more chill than the Privates who normally draw my blood on post--thank goodness! All in all, things are going great. I'm starting to feel less sick and tired, everything seems to be  progressing normally and I couldn't be happier!Now if the post housing thing would rectify itself I could stop worrying and stressing about having a place to live in a month!

Graduation!

Last night we had our 11 week ultrasound and officially graduated from the RE! It was a very bittersweet moment--words could not express our gratitude as we said our goodbyes. Our RE is also an OB/GYN so we technically could have stuck with him for prenatal care but his office is quite a drive from where we live. However, he was very supportive of the decision to go with the midwife clinic, wished us well and asked us to send him baby pictures. He's such a great guy and we will miss him!

The first thing I asked the nurse when I got there was if the ultrasound was going to be internal or external. I was so happy to find out that I could keep my pants on for this one! A HUGE milestone in the world of infertility so I made Mike take a picture. Look--no dildo cam in sight!

The baby has grown so much! (My mom attributes this growth spurt to the club sandwich I had the other day-ha!) It was really wiggling around this time and that made it difficult to get a good picture. Dr. actually commented that looking at the picture was like reading tea leaves--a Harry.Potter dork at heart? I'm going to miss him.  The baby's heart rate was 178bmp and I'm measuring four days ahead--a healthy, chubby little baby! My placenta is still over my cervix a little bit but he's confident that it will shift during my pregnancy. I have been having some pain on my left side, very similar to what I have experienced in the past and attributed to my endo. He said that my endo should be suppressed during my pregnancy but since I have adhesions, the pain that I am feeling is probably because things are shifting and pushing against my ovary that is adhered. OUCH! I hope it doesn't get too bad because it hurts! He even measured the nuchal translucency, which I wasn't expecting. Everything looked well within the normal range though and now I guess we don't have to worry about deciding whether or not to have a NT scan done. He explained that our risk of Down's is probably somewhere around 1:2000 now.

I'm so happy and relieved that everything is developing right on track. I'm finally feeling like I can start relaxing and start getting excited about this pregnancy. I'm super excited to meet with the midwife clinic on Monday and to learn more about their philosophy on child birth. I haven't had time to read all of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth so I will be borrowing most of my questions from my good friend Allie--she blogged about her natural birth plan here.  We still haven't started buying any of the big stuff but we probably will in the next several weeks, after we move on post.

Oh, the move! What a nightmare. All of you other military wives can fully appreciate the headache that is the military housing office.  We have been on the waiting list for new housing for seven months and were assured multiple times (by the same person) that we would have a house in February when our lease is up. We've already given notice to our landlord and hadn't heard anything from housing so I decided to drop an email to the housing coordinator yesterday. She acted like she had no clue we needed a house in February and told me that there are no available homes! ::headdesk:: Mike tried ringing her multiple times yesterday but she never returned his calls, even though she was clearly in her office and responding to my emails within minutes of them being sent.  The bad news is that now it looks like we're not going to get a newer home (so long  wood floors, big kitchen island and enormous laundry room) but the good news is that they DO have other homes available to us--they're just older, smaller and don't have garages. ::sigh:: We will most likely just be getting a car port, I'll have a smaller galley style kitchen and a laundry closet--BOO! The neighborhood itself is much closer to the airfield though, which is a big plus for Mike in the mornings when he's going to have to fight with traffic and because it's an older neighborhood, the trees are well established and beautiful. The newer neighborhood is closer to the freeway (noise) and there are virtually no trees around the houses since the area is only a few years old. It really, really sucks that we got screwed like this but we will try to make the best out of the situation.

Instead of this.....

We'll get something more like this:

Instead of this:

.

I will have to make do with this:

It sucks, but it is what it is. You'd think we'd be used to things not going quite as planned after dealing with the military for eight years, right? Moving on post is still the best plan for us because we spend so much on gas each month with Mike commuting nearly 40 minutes one way. Poor guy showers at the gym and naps in his car after PT because it's too far to drive home--and once I have the baby he can run home at lunch just to say hi! Another positive is that the Army is going to move us so I don't have to worry about packing anything except things like cleaning products. My mom is coming out for a couple weeks to help me clean, organize and unpack too! It will be nice to have her here! I will probably post a bump picture and my 11 week post--we have a FRG (Family Readiness Group--basically the group of spouses from Mike's unit) Bowling Party later today and I'm hoping to get a few good pictures of my growing bump. Have a great weekend, everyone!

5 Weeks.

5 Weeks

Symptoms:  Mostly fatigue--I'm tired all the time.  I'm still crampy every now and then but not nearly as much as last week. My breasts also feel really heavy and tender. Oh and hunger. It seems like I'm hungry all.the.time. People keep saying "I think there's multiples in there!" which is making me feel huge. Not quite sure how I'm supposed to take comments like that...
Total weight gain/loss: +4 pounds since the beginning of my IVF.
Maternity clothes? Still just the BeBand from Tar.get.
Sleep:  I'm finally sleeping more soundly, only getting up 3 or 4 times a night to pee. Thankfully I'm able to go to sleep right after now! Maybe the insomnia is going away?

Best moment this week: Mike seeing my t-shirt a little more stretched than usual last night and me catching him smiling at my belly. Oh and finding out that SIL's IVF worked too and she's due two days after me. Partners in crime! Lastly, (because apparently I can't choose just one best moment!) my doctor just called with Beta #2 results. "Normal" doubling time would have put me around 2000.  Mine was 4009. =)
Movement:   It's way too early. 
Food cravings:  Nothing specific. Everything tastes so.damn.good.
Gender:  Too early.
Labor Signs:  Nope.
Belly Button in or out?  In.
What I miss:  Having energy to do stuff.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing our baby(ies) heartbeat(s) at our first ultrasound on 12/30.
Next Appointment: Next Wednesday for Beta #3
Weekly Wisdom:  There is no preparing for how tired pregnancy will make you.
Milestones: I'm still riding the "Holy crap, I'm pregnant!" high.

"I think there's something there that wasn't there before...."

This week has been a rough week. On Wednesday the identities of the four pilots were announced and Mike's spent the past two days out at the crash site. The Memorial Service is scheduled for Monday at 1400. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through it but I know I need to be there to show my respects as well as to support my husband. Keep sending some good thoughts in the direction of the Pacific Northwest, I know they'd be much appreciated by everyone affected by this tragedy.

I have been thinking a lot about this blog and the direction it is going to take from here on out since This Space is no longer For Rent.   I've been blogging about infertility for so long that I'm almost at a loss as to what to write about now. I highly doubt that you all want to read about every.single.day. of my pregnancy and I know that I've probably lost a few followers due to my pregnancy and that's okay because I totally understand the need for self-preservation. I'm still at the awkward stage where I'm not sure where I belong:  I want to jump for joy, start buying baby things and leave all the infertility woes behind me. But I'm scared. I had a horrible dream about the "m" word last night and woke up completely freaked out. Then there's all the guilt that goes along with beating infertility. Don't get me wrong, I know that I still have a very long way to go before I win the war but just getting a positive pregnancy test is winning part of the battle and I know there are many women who have not made it to this point yet. Women who are still hurting. If you're one of those women I want you to know that I'm still thinking of you. I haven't forgotten your pain and I hate that you're still going through this. I wrote this post in August and I am still trying really hard not to be "that girl."

Hug Your Loved Ones Tonight.

I am proud to be an Army wife.  Most of the time I love the lifestyle, I love the experiences military life affords us, I love the camaraderie and I love the traditions. The military lifestyle is not for everyone because, well it's hard. It takes a lot of hard work to keep a marriage together when you spend months apart, but somehow that time apart makes you appreciate and love your spouse all the more.  It reminds you to not take things for granted. I've grown to love the Army life, there are definitely more ups than downs, but those down times are heart wrenching and incredibly difficult.  Today is one of those times.

I've been exhausted and going to bed pretty early but I heard Mike's cell phone start ringing off the hook at about 10 last night. Before I knew it he was coming upstairs to don his ACUs and head back to the hangar-- there was a possibility that two aircraft went down. "Precautionary landing?" I asked Mike. He didn't know. We've had incidents like this before, where a pilot over torques something or other in the engine and has to make a precautionary landing and everything ended up find, with the exception of the aircraft. I wish that was the case this time.

Sometime around 2100 last night two Kiowa helicopters collided in mid-air and all four pilots were killed. You just never expect these things to happen during routine flights. Before Mike could even walk out of the house he was getting phone calls from soldiers saying that the crash was on the local news.  Ridiculous! That means it was on the news before the families were even notified. Could you imagine watching the 10 o'clock news before bed and seeing that on the screen, knowing your spouse was on night maneuvers?  It makes me sick to think about. Those poor, poor families.Each death of a soldier is a tragedy but there's something especially unsettling about a deaths that happen in garrison. I know they don't report the "specifics" but seriously....there's only one Kiowa unit here at JBLM and there are normally only a small amount of aircraft out at a time. It's not hard for families to put two and two together. Such a tragedy for all involved, especially right before Christmas.

Mike got home around 1 in the morning and looked totally deflated. I had to do my best to keep calm because I started cramping as soon as I started to cry. I know this is going to stir up lots of old memories from when we lost four pilots in January 2009 during the last deployment to Iraq.  Mike was in QC (Quality Control) at that time too so he had to assist in the investigation of the crash. It was then that he shut down on me for about four months. I guess picking up pieces of your friends from pieces of aircraft will do that to you though.  I can't begin to imagine what he's feeling right now. Ft. Rucker is sending in a team to lead the investigation so I'm hoping he won't be so intimately involved in this investigation, not a luxury one is afforded when deployed.  He keeps saying he's okay but I know better. I know he is putting on a strong front for all the young troopers at the hangar. I just found out that one of the pilots was also an IVFer and they very recently found out they're expecting. Way.too.close.to.home. Another was a newlywed and one had just adopted a special needs child. It's going to be a long week.

So please, dear readers, say a prayer for the families of the pilots and all the soldiers and friends who are mourning this great loss and hug your loved ones a little closer tonight. Rest in peace, aviators.


"The story of Fiddler's Green was published in 1923, in Cavalry Journal.^[6] According to this article, it was inspired by a story told by Captain "Sammy" Pearson at a campfire in the Medicine Bow Mountains of Wyoming. It is still used by modern cavalry units to memorialize the deceased." (Wikipedia)

The Cavalrymen's Poem: Fiddler's Green
Halfway down the trail to Hell,
In a shady meadow green
Are the Souls of all dead troopers camped,
Near a good old-time canteen.
And this eternal resting place
Is known as Fiddlers' Green.
Marching past, straight through to Hell
The Infantry are seen.
Accompanied by the Engineers,
Artillery and Marines,
For none but the shades of Cavalrymen
Dismount at Fiddlers' Green.
Though some go curving down the trail
To seek a warmer scene.
No trooper ever gets to Hell
Ere he's emptied his canteen.
And so rides back to drink again
With friends at Fiddlers' Green.
And so when man and horse go down
Beneath a saber keen,
Or in a roaring charge of fierce melee
You stop a bullet clean,
And the hostiles come to get your scalp,
Just empty your canteen,
And put your pistol to your head
And go to Fiddlers' Green.

Follie Check, Surprises and Cervical Mucus, Oh My!

As you all know (and are probably sick of hearing about) Mike was due home this evening. Around 1230 I began getting ready for my ultrasound appointment and at 1300 I got a text from Mike saying, "Would you be excited if you got a text saying your h word was at the door?"  I threw down my flat iron, ran down the stairs and opened the front door to see my H standing there, in all his "I-haven't-had-a-real-shower-in-three-weeks" glory. The.best.surprise.ever. He totally had me fooled into believing that I wasn't supposed to pick him up until tonight! Even better was that he made it home just in time to go to my ultrasound appointment with me.

Today's Lucky Socks

I had my blood drawn again (#5) and then they immediately put me into the ultrasound room. After about 15 minutes of sitting there with little more than a pink plastic sheet I said to Mike, "If we were going to be waiting in here for so long I really wish they would have let me stay dressed." Mike replied, "Ah, it's not a big deal" to which my response was, "You're not the one leaking cervical mucus all over the table." Silent pause. Horrified face. He wasn't sure what to say but then busted up laughing. Damn hormones! C'mon, you know you've been there. Ah, infertility......

My doctor finally came in and we got started on the ultrasound. He has a big screen that he uses but there's also a smaller screen angled so that I can see it from where I'm lying down. Mike sat down next to me and hunched over to see the small screen but I pointed out the big screen he could look at. My RE then said, "Oh but the small screen is so much more romantic." I stifled a laugh but cracked up when the nurse said, "Dr. M. if this is your idea of romance......." Ha. Touche.

Well, the big news of the day (other than the wonderful surprise of MH coming home early!) is that it looks like we may be doing our egg retrieval on Friday!  Right now I have four follicles on my right ovary that will definitely be mature in the next few days, several smaller ones that will most likely catch up by then and even more smaller follicles that we will most likely not get any eggs out of, most of which were on my crappy left side. Right now I am to keep doing what I've been doing and check tomorrow with more blood work and an ultrasound on Wednesday. We should know by Wednesday what the definite plan is.

I'm a little nervous about the small number of potential eggs I have growing. I'm afraid of having very few eggs and then having fertilization issues. I'm afraid of not having very many viable embryos and none to freeze.  I just keep reminding myself that I need to trust in my doctor right now, he's the professional in all of this.  He knows what he's doing and if he thinks I'll be ready for an egg retrieval by Friday then I need to trust his judgment. I'm so glad Mike's finally home because he's really helping me to see the positive side of all of this. Optimism is crucial right now. 

After my appointment we went to Panera--where else would we go, right?  While we were eating I received a text from my dear friend, Allie, explaining that she was shopping for a card to send me but couldn't really find one. After all, Hallmark doesn't exactly make an embryo adorned card that says, "I hope the crazy drugs you're on make you grow lots of wonderful follicles so that they can plunge a needle through your vagina to get them and then mix them with your husband's sperm to make little embryos that then implant into your uterine lining and grow for the next 9 months." Haha. I love her.

I arrived home from my appointment to the most adorable good luck card EVER, compliments of my niece the Amazing Annabelle. Don't you love the babies on there? I'm going to put it in my purse and take it to every one of my appointments from here on out. <3

Just Make My Damn Latte

As of today I have done 22 injections and had my blood drawn four times. This morning's blood draw was particularly brutal. I swear the nurse was about 12 and was more interested in my tattoos than paying attention to what she was doing. I felt her jab the needle in but I wasn't expecting the bleeding and swelling afterward. It still effing hurts. =(

 Once again, I went to Panera for breakfast afterward. Hey--I definitely deserved it today! I keep confusing the baristas by requesting a decaf Chai Latte--every single day they come and ask me, "Do you want it with decaf shots or do you want us to make it decaf?"  What part of Decaf Chai Latte is so hard to understand?  Just make my damn latte. Oh, but these hormones aren't having any effect on me whatsoever. Ha.

 I'm definitely feeling less like myself. Today I went to Joann's to buy some supplies and I told the lady at the cutting counter that I didn't need anything else, even though there was clearly another bolt of fabric in my cart to be cut. THEN, I walked away from the cutting counter and left behind all my cut fabric. I'm losing it and I had to double my PM dosage of Menopur beginning tonight, so I can only imagine how it's going to be from here on out. Today I teared up listening to a Christmas greeting on the radio from a soldier stationed in Afghanistan.  I feel like I have no control over my emotions right now and I find myself going from one extreme to the other.  Lucky Mike is coming home just in time!

Tonight I came home and made stockings for three special little girls, my nieces Annabelle, Madeline and Charlotte. Didn't they turn out cute? <3 Tomorrow is Day 6 of stims and I have to get more blood work and an ultrasound, but my treat tomorrow will be the best of all--my H is finally coming home from training! <3

The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's the matter with the standard model?" The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, posses the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, ever if she's pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head. "Six pairs of hands? No way!" The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we shall make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it's over-worked and tired, and be large enough to say 'I understand,' when she does not, and say 'I love you,' regardless."

The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft." "She might look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model." The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence. What you see is not a leak," he said. "It's a tear." "A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "It's for joy sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."
"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel. The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."


_______________________________________________________________________________

Beautiful, isn't it? We military wives are a special breed.

I'm sure you are just SHOCKED to know that my meds are still in Customs. The tracking information  has not been updated since 11/5 but thanks to a couple generous ladies I am no longer panicking. In ironic news, my period has yet to show. According to Fertility Friend (because all infertiles bow down to the Gods of Fertility Friend) it should have showed yesterday. It's like it KNOWS my meds haven't arrived yet or maybe it's the stress of this whole situation that is keeping it away. Maybe I should just take a pregnancy test since a BFN is inevitably the fastest way to jump start a period.

We are officially in the single digits until MH will be home. I feel like such a baby for whining about a little NTC rotation, especially when we've been separated for much, much longer, but with everything that's going on right on right now I want my husband home, damn it!

Thank You.

By the time I was born, my dad's career in the Army was winding down before he finally retired after more than 20 years of service.  Then I grew up, became an Army Wife and was introduced to the military through the eyes of an adult--it's definitely a different experience.  I have seen first hand the dedication and sacrifices the men and women of the armed forces make for our country and I can personally attest to the sacrifices made by their families.  Today, I remember all the Veterans in my life, including my husband (pictured left--taken during his second Iraq deployment), my sister, my dad  (pictured center--taken in Thailand in 1967) and my brother-in-law who recently retired after 24 years of service (pictured right--taken at his retirement ceremony).  I'm also remembering all our Army friends we've met throughout the years and especially those we've lost to the war.

If you or your spouse is a Veteran, I thank you for your service.  If you are a spouse of a service member then I thank you as well because behind every good Soldier, Coastie, Airman, Sailor and Marine stands a proud and supportive family.  Less than 1% of the American population serves to protect the other 99% and while the military lifestyle is not easy by any means, I am proud to have come from a military family and to now call myself an Army Wife.  Happy Veterans Day!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

Click on the picture if you'd like to participate in Wifey's MilSpouse Friday Fill-in too!

1. The best part of October was meeting my newest niece, Charlotte, on the day she was born. 

2. The worst part of October was  finding out our fourth IUI failed. That majorly sucked.

3. For Halloween, I’ll be hiding from the trick-or-treaters and trying to keep my dogs calm. 

4. I hope that in November doesn't drag. The husband is gone for training and although I'm not looking forward to starting all my injections but I'm ready to get my IVF cycle started!

5. Wifey has posted MilSpouse Secret Santa. 

I leave you with this Friday Funny: One of the many reasons why I effing love Seattle. Click on the picture to view the story of the Sperm Bike!

Post-op Follow Up

I had my post-surgery follow up appointment this morning. My shiny new Windows Phone makes waiting in the horrible waiting room so much less awkward. You see, the geniuses who planned the clinic set it up so the ob/gyn clinic is right next door, with the reception for both clinics in the middle of the two. So when I'm waiting for my appointments, I get to hear people on the other side of the desk booking ultrasound appointments and scheduling their prenatal care. The grass is always greener, right?

While I was waiting, a female soldier sat across from me in the waiting room. A few minutes later her husband came from the back holding a biohazard bag and exclaimed rather loudly, "Wow. That was awkward." Hahaha! I don't think he expected me to be in the waiting room. His wife handed something to him and he said, "Should I go back in the bathroom and do that?" It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing. Poor guy. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that we'd all been there. Oh, the joys of infertility....

My follow up appointment went well. I wasn't expecting to find out anything I didn't already know since I had already seen my RE for the alien plastic two weeks ago. What I wasn't expecting was to be seen by the idiot resident who left the plastic inside me! At first I thought Dr. C. sent her in so that she could apologize to me but I was wrong. She didn't even bring it up! She checked out my incisions and made a remark about my bruising--  if only she'd seen me last week! Ouch.  When she was done checking me out she brought in Dr. C. and we discussed what our new plan of action is going to be.

If you remember my first post that I made after surgery, you will remember that the laparoscopy revealed a substantial amount of endometriosis on my left side. I was informed that my left ovary  is covered with endometriosis and is adhered to my pelvic wall at such an angle that my left fallopian tube is partially blocked. It was too risky to remove the adhesions because of their location and removing the endo from my ovary is not an option at this point, as they would likely have to take part of an otherwise healthy ovary along with the affected tissue.  As if that wasn't enough, today I found out that my left side is basically worthless and that my left tube is also partially adhered to my bowels. As much as this totally sucks, it is so incredibly refreshing to finally have some answers. EVERYTHING from our infertility, my spotting before periods, my intense menstrual cramps, my painful intercourse and the incredibly painful bowel movements during my period finally makes sense!

So, where do we go from here? Dr. C. put my mind at ease and said that my pain is normal since I'm still healing and that we won't worry about it unless I'm still in pain after six weeks. Although the majority of my endometriosis has been removed, my left side is basically unhealthy and unreliable. While I may in fact produce follicles on my left side, there's no guarantee that the eggs will go where the need to go since my tube is partially blocked. The good news is that my right side is perfectly healthy and always produces rock star follicles. Dr. C. is confident that now that our chances of conception are higher now that most of the endo is gone. Mike and I are going to continue to do ovulation induction but stick with timed intercourse for now and see where that leads us. Who knows, we may end up doing a few more IUI cycles too.

I really have a gut feeling that we're going to end up needing to do IVF to finally get our baby. I'm praying, of course, that this is not the case but I can just feel it. We're still on the waiting list for the IVF program through our military hospital and as of right now we won't be able to cycle until July of next year. They've told us that there is a good chance we could cycle in as soon as 6 to 8 months though, which would be fantastic providing we have the money saved by then. For now, we've decided to stick with the infertility clinic on post and see how the next few months go. Let's hope that we won't even have to decide between infertility clinics but instead choose between an OB or midwife!

History.

History

 I remember getting chills as I watched people dancing in the streets in Afghanistan on September 11, 2011. What kind of person celebrates the death of a thousands of innocent people or even the death of just one person? Tonight American Armed Forces made history.  Osama Bin Laden is dead and the American people are celebrating and somehow....it feels right.

Of course people are already complaining that President Obama did not give due credit to the troops.  I say bullshit.  I thought it was a very touching speech and loved that he addressed not only the families of the victims of 9/11 but also the families of all our troops who have been lost in the War on Terror. Haters do  not want to give him any credit. After all--he didn't pull the trigger but President Obama got the intelligence report and our troops kicked ass on his orders.  If the mission had failed you bet they would be blaming Obama and NOT the soldier who was unable to eliminate his target. The bottom line is that the SOB is dead.

Newsflash:  George Dubya had nothing to do with what happened today. Oh...I digress. Bush's WMDs are the reason we invaded Iraq. I should give credit where credit is due.  On 1 May, 2003 Bush said that we had won in Iraq. "Mission Accomplished."  Eight years later......MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.  Could you imagine the speech if Dubya would have given it? In my best Texas accent: " Heh heh, we murderated him, we walked in, and we victorized, and we assasificated Osama Bin Laden."   All I can say is thank goodness for the hide button on Facebook.

Obama said he'd get Bin Laden and he did.  Osama Bin Laden is dead and it is somewhat of a comfort to know that Mike's buddy who was killed in A-stan last week and all of his other brother in arms did not die in vain.  Now...bring our troops home!