2011 in Review

I can finally say, "Tomorrow is the day!"  Our first ultrasound is at 0830 tomorrow and I am so nervous/excited. I am excited to find out how many we have in there but more than that I am excited to find out that we have a healthy baby growing in there and to hopefully hear/see the heartbeat. 

I haven't been feeling many symptoms but one that is persistent is definitely the exhaustion.  I had doubts as to whether Christmas dinner was even going to be made because SIL and I spent the afternoon snoozing on the couch. I didn't even get dressed this year--Okay, I did get dressed but just in clean pajamas.  I have been so flipping tired and last night I even broke the Cardinal Rule of, "Thou shalt not fall asleep during a Harry Potter Marathon!" ::gasp:: I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore so I took a little nap and then we finished the movie later.

It's hard to believe 2011 is coming to a close. SO much has happened this year and it's just totally flown by so I thought I'd take a few minutes to reflect on the ups and downs of this past year.

1. What did you do in 2011 you never did before?

Went to England!!!!
IUI/Surgery/IVF
Watched the entire World Series from start to finish (Go Cards!)
Cut down a Christmas tree
Went to a professional soccer match

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Last year I made the promise to myself that I was going to try to get rid of negativity in my life. I succeeded somewhat by eliminating a few things (and people) from my life.

For 2012:

To take excellent care of myself so that I can have a healthy pregnancy and L&D

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my sister had my beautiful niece, Charlotte, in October!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. We recently lost four pilots in a training accident but they weren't close to me.

5. What countries did you visit?

England

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A successful pregnancy, more patience (hello annoying customers!) and the ability to just slow down and take it easy without feeling guilty.

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

May 25--the day we left for the UK
August 27--the day of my laparoscopy
November 25--the day of my egg retreival

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finally getting pregnant. Hands down.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Hmm, I'm not sure that I really failed at anything this year other than our four IUIs.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Infertility but other than that I've been very healthy.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Tickets to the UK, my Kindle, my embroidery machine and a round of IVF

12. Where did most of your money go?

Fertility treatments and a trip to England

13. What did you get really excited about?

Our trip to the UK, the birth of Charlotte and finding out that I was finally pregnant.

14. What songs will always remind you of 2011?Party Rock Anthem-- LMFAO. Hands down.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or Sadder: Happier

Thinner or Fatter: Fatter.  My weight has been fluctuating this year because of all the damn drugs I've been on.

Richer or poorer: Probably a little poorer just because of all the infertility treatments we've done. 

16. What do you wish you'd done more of:

Exercise, hiking, walks with the dogs, just get out of the house more.

17. What do you wish you had done less of:

Stressing, crying

18. How did you spend Christmas?

My brother and SIL drove down from Seattle and spent a few days with us. It was fun!

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Parenthood

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

The Hunger Games Trilogy

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

LMFAO and Adele

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and The Muppets

23. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

Gosh, how sad is it that I can't even remember what I did on my birthday this year? I was 27 though.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being debt free and not having to go through all the infertility struggles we went through.

25. What kept you sane?

Mike, my fur-kids and the support and love of my family.

26. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:

That it is possible to see the light again, no matter how dark and twisty of place you're in. Things do get better and dreams are worth fighting for. Happy New Year's, dear readers!

All Is Well Again.

We received our fert report yesterday and I immediately logged on to blogger so that I could post about it. I received a notice that my blogger account had been disabled. Immediately, I panicked. I've been blogging since 2005, since before Mike's first deployment to Iraq. I have a LOT of stuff on blogger. Memories that have been long forgotten and "friends" that I lost because I could no longer access my Reader or comment on other blogs.  Doesn't Blogger know that I have many, many uteruses (uteri???) that I keep track of?! I have NO idea what happened but thank GOODNESS This Space For Rent is back up and running. Now I need to figure out how to create a back up, just in case the powers that be decide to eff with me again.

So....our fert report!  Five out of the seven eggs fertilized! We are set to do a 5 day transfer on Wednesday evening and we'll be transferring two embryos. I am SO excited. Last night I asked Mike what lucky socks I should wear and he wants me to lay them all out so we can decide together. <3

My trigger shot hurt like hell so I was extremely nervous for to begin my PIO injections last night. I reminded Mike to squeeze as hard as he could before he put the needle in, since that is what I think went wrong with the trigger shot. I laid down on my bed, gripped my headboard with both hands, felt the squeeze and asked him if he had injected me yet--he was already pushing the PIO in and I didn't even feel the shot. Thank goodness! I can totally handle this.

My boobs still hurt, I still can't button my pants and I've gained five pounds. I don't think I'm as emotionally crazy as I was expecting to be, but I'm sure Mike would disagree. I'm finished with all my paid orders and plan to take it super easy this week. Today I'm working on Christmas gifts though the pain in my butt makes sitting in my sewing chair a little awkward. By the way, I'm talking about the pain from my PIO injection, not Mike. :P

I hope everyone else is doing well and that no other blogs were affected. I about had a panic attack yesterday when I saw that my blog was gone  but all seems to be well in the blogosphere, at least for now.

Post-op Follow Up

I had my post-surgery follow up appointment this morning. My shiny new Windows Phone makes waiting in the horrible waiting room so much less awkward. You see, the geniuses who planned the clinic set it up so the ob/gyn clinic is right next door, with the reception for both clinics in the middle of the two. So when I'm waiting for my appointments, I get to hear people on the other side of the desk booking ultrasound appointments and scheduling their prenatal care. The grass is always greener, right?

While I was waiting, a female soldier sat across from me in the waiting room. A few minutes later her husband came from the back holding a biohazard bag and exclaimed rather loudly, "Wow. That was awkward." Hahaha! I don't think he expected me to be in the waiting room. His wife handed something to him and he said, "Should I go back in the bathroom and do that?" It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing. Poor guy. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that we'd all been there. Oh, the joys of infertility....

My follow up appointment went well. I wasn't expecting to find out anything I didn't already know since I had already seen my RE for the alien plastic two weeks ago. What I wasn't expecting was to be seen by the idiot resident who left the plastic inside me! At first I thought Dr. C. sent her in so that she could apologize to me but I was wrong. She didn't even bring it up! She checked out my incisions and made a remark about my bruising--  if only she'd seen me last week! Ouch.  When she was done checking me out she brought in Dr. C. and we discussed what our new plan of action is going to be.

If you remember my first post that I made after surgery, you will remember that the laparoscopy revealed a substantial amount of endometriosis on my left side. I was informed that my left ovary  is covered with endometriosis and is adhered to my pelvic wall at such an angle that my left fallopian tube is partially blocked. It was too risky to remove the adhesions because of their location and removing the endo from my ovary is not an option at this point, as they would likely have to take part of an otherwise healthy ovary along with the affected tissue.  As if that wasn't enough, today I found out that my left side is basically worthless and that my left tube is also partially adhered to my bowels. As much as this totally sucks, it is so incredibly refreshing to finally have some answers. EVERYTHING from our infertility, my spotting before periods, my intense menstrual cramps, my painful intercourse and the incredibly painful bowel movements during my period finally makes sense!

So, where do we go from here? Dr. C. put my mind at ease and said that my pain is normal since I'm still healing and that we won't worry about it unless I'm still in pain after six weeks. Although the majority of my endometriosis has been removed, my left side is basically unhealthy and unreliable. While I may in fact produce follicles on my left side, there's no guarantee that the eggs will go where the need to go since my tube is partially blocked. The good news is that my right side is perfectly healthy and always produces rock star follicles. Dr. C. is confident that now that our chances of conception are higher now that most of the endo is gone. Mike and I are going to continue to do ovulation induction but stick with timed intercourse for now and see where that leads us. Who knows, we may end up doing a few more IUI cycles too.

I really have a gut feeling that we're going to end up needing to do IVF to finally get our baby. I'm praying, of course, that this is not the case but I can just feel it. We're still on the waiting list for the IVF program through our military hospital and as of right now we won't be able to cycle until July of next year. They've told us that there is a good chance we could cycle in as soon as 6 to 8 months though, which would be fantastic providing we have the money saved by then. For now, we've decided to stick with the infertility clinic on post and see how the next few months go. Let's hope that we won't even have to decide between infertility clinics but instead choose between an OB or midwife!

8DPIUI

National Infertility Awareness Week is coming to a close. I have to say that I am kind of surprised by the lack of responses/interest that I had to my posts on Facebook.  I guess a lot of people just don't know what to say?
How many of you have been blogging about NIAW? Have you received nothing but ::cricket chirps:: too?
Here's another great IF video that you could share on Facebook.  Don't quote me but I think she has something to do with the 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility Blog.

Today I am 8DPIU. The good news is that my temp went up this morning. The bad news is that I really can't trust it because of the meds I'm on. I should actually give up temping all together while on fertility drugs since they can make your BBT kind of whacky BUT I can't. I like feeling like I have "control" over something, even though I realize I don't actually have control of anything. The illusion of control is there.

Oh! I can finally announce that I am going to be an aunt again! My sister is expecting her third baby.  I'm not going to lie. I cried when I found out BUT it could have had something to do with the fact that she sent me the sweetest, most empathetic e-mail ever.  She wrote that she understood how hard this will be on Mike and I and that she knows we are happy for them but that we're sad for us, and that's okay. I'm so lucky to have such a supportive family. Love you sis! She's due in October and I am hoping and praying that the IUI worked and we get to be two knocked up broads together in England!

Last night I went to bed with cramps and a backache. This morning my boobs are a little sore but nothing like the way they're described by women who are KTFU. I am going to POAS in the morning to see if the trigger shot is out of my system so I can start testing for real when my tests arrive in the mail in a couple days. Stay away AF. Stay away.