7 Weeks.

Drum roll please.......

One beautiful baby.
I think "she" looks just like me, don't you?

It was amazing. I just stared at the screen and smiled. The "whoosh whoosh" sound of our baby's heartbeat was the sweetest sound ever. Mike was all smiles, it was super cute.  I joked and said that the baby resembles The Great Gonzo--it looks just like his nose toward the top! Haha. I'm measuring 6w6d, so a day behind, and the heart rate was 140bpm. It was bittersweet to find out that only one of our embryos made it--I was honestly surprised and now I feel SUPER fluffy knowing there's only one in there.  I immediately started thinking of all the positive things of a singleton pregnancy to keep my mind off the fact that only one stuck-I'll be more likely to be able to use a midwife and have a natural delivery, breastfeeding one baby will be much easier than two, baby wearing will be much more doable, only one set of diapers to change and most importantly when Mike is in the field, at school or deployed I will only have one baby to care for by myself. I keep referring to the baby as a she, partly to drive Mike nuts and partly because it's always been my dream to have a house full of girls (Like in Little Women!). Obviously I will love the baby no matter when gender he or she is but I am hoping for a girl. We will have another ultrasound at 9 weeks and I expect I'll be graduating from my RE shortly after. It finally feels real and I finally feel like I can get excited. A huge weight has been lifted off my chest though I know I will still find something to worry about in the next 8 months....

Shopping for pants that actually fit!

How big is baby? The size of a blueberry!
Symptoms: Lots and lots of gas. Nausea hits me in waves and I'm still super tired.
Total weight gain/loss: I'm not sure--our scale is acting weird.
Maternity clothes? Yes, I broke down and bought some maternity pants and a few shirts today. I know it's early but I'm fairly certain that most pregnant women do not start out this bloated. (Thanks IVF meds!)
Sleep: This week has actually been pretty good for the most part but I've needed a nap almost every day.
Best moment this week: Hearing the sweet little "whoosh whoosh" of the heartbeat at our first ultrasound and seeing our baby for the first time.
Movement:   It's way too early. 
Food cravings: I woke up craving queso the other day so I had some at 10:30 in the morning. I could barely eat any of it before it didn't taste good anymore. Oh and Mike brought me some more greasy Costco pizza.
Gender:  Too early.
Labor Signs:  Nope.
Belly Button in or out?  In.
What I miss:  Being able to eat whenever I want. Most of the time nothing sounds good but when I do feel like eating, food tastes so.damn.good.
What I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound on 1/13 at 9 weeks.
Next Appointment: Next Friday for another blood draw to check my progesterone and estradiol.
Weekly Wisdom:  Drink lots and lots of water. Don't skip a day of drinking enough water or there may be dire consequences. 
Milestones: Seeing and hearing a heartbeat, learning that this is a viable pregnancy.

The Brutal Truth About Bloat

Bloat is bad. Really, really bad. I feel HUGE and uncomfortable right now. I can't even walk down the stairs without my boobs killing me either! I can't believe I'm sharing these but here are some pictures of my gut in all its bloated and bruised glory. Dear Lord, it looks even more hideous in the pictures than it does in person, but here it is. In the bottom picture you can see where my jeans were cutting into me--I could barely get them on today. I was totally wishing I had one of those pregnancy band thingies, just to make my pants somewhat comfortable.

Beautiful Bloat and Bruising

Today I had blood draw #6 and about five or six hours later I received a phone call from my RE saying that my estradiol was not rising like it should and that he wanted to see me again this evening. Mike and I got back in the car and drove the hour to the clinic but luckily it was pretty empty and we didn't have to wait long. I had another follicle scan and this one was extremely uncomfortable, I'm guessing due to the size of my ovaries. I don't know how to describe it other than to imagine an extremely full bladder, so full that it's painful. Now, imagine poking your bladder with a stick. THAT is what my ultrasound felt like tonight but the good news is that it did show some growth since yesterday, just not as much as my doctor would like. I have four lead follicles and still a few more just hanging out around 14 and several smaller ones that he doesn't expect to get any good eggs from. He'd really like the 14s to mature so he sent me home with a few doses of Follistim, which I took tonight and will take another one in the morning.  He assured me that my "small harvest" should be plenty, so I'm trying to trust his judgement.  No more Menopur, which is especially ironic because guess what I FINALLY got in the mail today? That's right, my meds from customs. Go figure, right?

My doctor is really quirky--one of those guys who is so smart that he makes you feel like your a few brain cells short. He asked when H and I last had "relations" and it took everything in me not to giggle like a 10 year old girl. Poor guy just got home from the field last night and we're already 'abstaining' for retrieval. At least we made those first 12 hours count. *wink wink*  Tomorrow I go back for more blood work, another ultrasound and it looks like I will be triggering tomorrow night! I made Mike promise not to start drinking until after he does my shot. Smart thinking, right? As of right now, we're set for an egg retrieval at 0800 on Friday morning.


Oh! How could I forget---my lucky socks picture from today. Look familiar, C? <3

Oh, the drama!

First, I finally heard from Mike!  This was a huge surprise since he's in "the box" and isn't supposed to have any communication but he was able to get a message through to let me know that he'll be home as scheduled. :) I have been so worried about him since the training accident earlier this week that took a soldier's life.  Even though I knew he wouldn't have been anywhere near it, all rationality goes out the window when you hear "training accident."  He's doing well though, his unit finally got a shower tent (no more baby wipe showers!) and he seems in good spirits, which is great considering everything that has happened this rotation.  After 7.5 years of marriage that man can still give me butterflies and I posted on Facebook about it yesterday. It received a ton of 'Likes' and a few comments about what a wonderful feeling it is when we finally hear from our soldiers.  Late last night I received a comment from a wife of one of Mike's soldiers, something along the lines of this: "Nothing personal but what happened to no WiFi in the box? If they're not supposed to have internet then no one should have internet. I have a five year old who has cried herself to sleep every night because she misses her daddy. You should have keep it to yourself and not rubbed it in for others who are missing their spouses too." Imagine my jaw....on the floor. She knows about our infertility, which makes her comment all the worse.

I'm sure you other infertiles, military spouse or not, already know what my first reaction. "Seriously? I should totally tell her not to shove her fertility down my throat. She should stop posting pictures of her adorable kids. At least she has a five year old to miss her daddy."  The old Megan would have deleted the comment and moved on but I have felt myself evolve over the past several months and I am tired of taking other people's shit. I did end up sending her a private message but managed great self-restraint. Instead, I killed her with kindness. I apologized that she hadn't heard from her husband (not my fault) apologized that her daughter was missing her daddy (again, not my fault) told her that I wasn't trying to rub anything into anyone's face (because I wasn't) and explained that Mike had just dropped me a quick line to make sure I knew he'd be home on time since we're getting ready to start our first IVF cycle and that thousands of dollars are a stake if he doesn't make it home in time.  She wrote back, explained that she had a lot of things that she needed to talk to her husband about and wished us luck with our IVF. Ha. I hope she felt like a royal you-know-what.  I did end up giving Mike a heads up, in case he was able to get on e-mail again, and he said he's going to tell his soldier to e-mail his wife. Megan for the win.

Anyway, on to my meds!  I'm still waiting and running to the door every time my dogs bark.  My tracking information still hasn't been updated, Customs still has my meds and my clinic doesn't have an emergency stock.  IVFMeds said they could send another shipment but it wouldn't be here until Thursday at the earliest.  The nurse at my clinic told me not to panic since I haven't started my period yet but I'm freaking out since I've been spotting since yesterday morning. Thankfully, a few members of a forum I belong to have generously offered to donate their extra meds to me, to tide me over until my shipment arrives. One is 25 weeks pregnant and another warned me that the medicine is likely to produce beautiful twin girls.  How wonderful is that? People amaze me.

My brother's TESE was successful and his recovery is going well. SIL starts her injections tomorrow and she assured me that the mock transfer was uncomfortable, but not painful. That's good to hear since I'll be going to mine solo. I have so many mixed emotions about cycling at the same time as them, but I think that's an entire post for another day. So my meds are still being held hostage in NY but it looks like I should be covered in the mean time, AF should show any time now, Mike's coming home on time and it looks like everything may work out.  ::fingers crossed::

Proof That I'm the Cool Aunt

My oldest niece and nephew, Gabrielle and Ben, decided to dress up as Mike and I for Halloween--Chucks, tattoo sleeves and all. They looked so cute! Gabrielle even put a fake Monroe piercing on her face, exactly where I have my real one. Some people joked that they even managed to get the height difference to scale--Mike's three inches shorter than I am. Haha.

 

 In case you're wondering, I have actually had pink hair a few different times in my life. Thus, the inspiration for Gabs' pink wig. Mike actually had bihawks when I met him, which is why Ben has a purple mohawk. Mike's bald now and I tease him that all his hair fell out because of all the hair product and dye he used growing up. 

I managed to survive Halloween. I spend the evening at a friend's house on post and HOLY COW, talk about procreation city!  She lives in the same housing that we'll be moving into in a few months and I made a mental note to buy costco size bags of candy for next year. I nearly teared up when I first saw the couple of little cuties but I drank a beer and told myself that I was going to enjoy the evening. I wish Mike would have been here though.

Gabrielle is calling today "Gilmore Girls Day." 11-1-11. If you get the reference, you're a true fan! Haha!  Today is also the day where I would normally bust out the garland and Andy Williams, but I'm not feeling all that festive yet this year. I already started listening to good ole Bing Crosby on Pandora but I don't think I'm ready to tackle the totes and totes of Christmas decorations in our garage all by myself. Maybe this weekend!

I never heard from my doctor or the pharmacy yesterday so I just called Freedom Pharmacy to inquire about my prescription. Right away they asked me if this was for an IUI or IVF cycle. Well, crap. I wasn't going to LIE. I know there are probably some women who would lie, just to get their meds covered by Tricare, but I couldn't do that without feeling insanely guilty. So now I'm just waiting for them to call me back and tell me that Tricare denied coverage so that I can pay for the meds and get them shipped sooner rather than later. It stinks but I suppose that I should be thankful that everything up to this point has been covered, which the exception of the IUIs.

Gabrielle is calling today "Gilmore Girls Day." 11-1-11. If you get the reference, you're a true fan! Haha!  Today is also the day where I would normally bust out the garland and Andy Williams, but I'm not feeling all that festive yet this year. I already started listening to good ole Bing Crosby on Pandora but I don't think I'm ready to tackle the totes and totes of Christmas decorations in our garage all by myself. Maybe this weekend! Are there any other crazy people who decorate for Christmas super early like me? Christmas lovers unite!