Five Months

Say it isn't so! My baby is five months old?! She's growing by leaps and bounds and I feel that she''ll be off to kindergarten soon. We've had a very busy month with the holidays and a month full of firsts! She was a trooper though and is turning into quite the little traveler.

Road trip to Indy!

I'm still nervous to travel too far on my own with her because I can't stand to hear her cry in her car seat. We are getting out more regularly now though. We went to our first La Leche League meeting in December as well as her first playgroup. She was the baldest baby there but that's ok.

She nurses every 2-3 hours at night but she's gone as long as 4-5 a few times. I've woken up in a panic those nights, wondering if she's okay! One of these days I'll get more than a few hours of sleep at a time but for now I'm more than happy to nurse and cuddle her all night. She has been sleeping in the co-sleeper more too, which is nice sometims because i can stretch out more.

She had her first viral infection. That was scary. Her fever got up to 103.8, she had vomiting and diarrhea. I was really thankful we cloth diaper because she had a lot of nasty poop explosions and not one blowout. We were also going through a ton of diapers-- cloth diapering for the win! She weighed 15.75 pounds with her clothes on when I took her to the doctor.

We got her first Christmas tree! The experience didn't go quite as I had hoped. Hazel was tired and refused to sleep in the Ergo. She cried a lot while we were looking at trees. It was December and I was wearing shorts. The trees were painted green. It almost fell off the van on the way home. The limbs were so scrawny we couldn't even put up our German candles and the tree gave both Mike and I a rash on our hands and arms. But it was Hazel's first Christmas tree.

Hazel needed fortification to hunt for a tree.

Pretty girl decorating the tree.

She spends a lot of time on her quilt or play mat, just playing on her own. She grabs everything now and sticks it right into her mouth! She rolls easily from her back to her belly and Mike has seen her roll from belly to back a few times but I haven't seen it yet.  She has almost mastered the low crawl--aah! I'm not ready for a mobile baby yet. We're still breastfeeding on demand but have not introduced solids as I feel it is important to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months. She's growing like a weed and is filling out her 6 month clothing now and even wearing some  6-9 month item. She's also moved up a snap size in her cloth diapers.  

I was so excited for Hazel's first Christmas. I know she won't remember it but I wanted it to be special. For the past several years there has been an emptiness that has filled our hearts at Christmastime because of infertility. We wanted so much to have someone to share the magic and spirit of Christmas and now we finally do! It was so wonderful to spend Christmas with my sister's and parents as well as my nieces and nephew.

Hazel's First Christmas

 

Her onesie says "Daddy's Favorite Present"

I love this picture of us.

The Elf made me do it!

Hazel's first trip to the Hofbrauhaus

Hazel's first trip to the zoo--it was cold in Cincy! In a snow suit, in the Ergo, inside my jacket. She slept cozy warm the entire time!

She was amazed by all the fish

Awwe

Happy 2013!

She has started sitting in her high chair at meal Times and sometimes while I'm cooking or baking. This is the free one I got but I don't like it. We are going to get one that attaches to our chair and will be good for traveling.

Mommy' s sous chef

We have this picture of her on our wall and she just loves to talk to it. She is all smiles when she sees herself in the mirror too.

She also really, really loved the song, "Frosty the Snowman." I sang it over and over again for her. Now her favorite is Old MacDonald. Who knew he had SO many animals on his farm? The list is never ending.

Hazel' s first time in the Jumperoo

I think she likes it.

Her naps are kind of wonky and she no longer takes super long naps. On Thursday she probably slept maaaaybe an hour all day. Yesterday she took four or five cat naps. I sometimes long for the days of two hour naps. Since we co- sleep we weren't even gong to buy a crib but we scored an amazing deal. $50 for the $200 Graco Lauren Crib and still in the box. We are going to paint it a fun color and eventually my goal is to transition her into taking naps in it since she will need a safe, pet free place to sleep once she's mobile.

I'm still 20 pounds over my pre- pregnancy weight but I'm working on it. I can get infotainment my jeans and athletic shorts but my books are too big for a lot of my shirtless. I can't necessarily diet since I'm breast feeding but I can get more active (other than the never-ending squats and bouncing I do everyday) so I am going to start walking. Hazel hasn't cared for her stroller much since she is used to being worn but we made it about half an hour yesterday with no fussing. There's a stroller walking group on post that I'm going to check out next week. 

 God I love this kid. 

Belated Tidings

A belated Christmas and Happy 2013!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and rang in the New year in style. know that I am majorly overdue for a blog post! I had a very busy December and now that I'm home and finally got around to unpacking my suitcase i have a sick baby. She got sick the last time we traveled too, Damn it.

The good news is that Santa brought me a Kindle.Fire for Christmas so hopefully that will make it a little easier to blog more often. I have a lot of pictures from Hazel' s first Christmas but for now I' 'll leave you with this cuteness.

Hazel on her way to see Scuba Santa at the Newport Aquarium.

The Man With the Bag

Do you participate in the tradition of Santa Claus? Or will you with your kids?

We had Santa in our home when I was growing up. I believed in him for a long time--until I was in fourth grade. I still remember when I found out he wasn't real. I remember being upset but certainly not devastated. Maybe because of my age?

I know he's a Christmas tradition and all but I am truly torn. I just don't want to.be responsible for breaking my little girl's heart when she finds out he's not real.

So....what's your take on the man with the bag?

Christmastime!

Despite the 70 degree weather yesterday, we set out to find the perfect first Christmas tree for Hazel. Unfortunately, Hazel hadn't slept well all morning so she was a complete crab as we walked around the tree farm. We still got some cute pictures though.
Alabama is a different world. They actually sprayed their trees green here! I guess the heat turns them yellowy during this time of year. We are definitely not in WA anymore. Man, I've never been so homesick for another place before. Sigh...
Anyway, we had a good time putting up our tree but it would have been better if it didn't give Mike and I a rash while doing so. The branches are so flimsy that we couldn't put our German Candles on it so we resorted to tinsel which turned out to be really bad with the cats. Again, sigh.... We are not southerners and it felt so wrong to br trimming the tree in shorts with the windows open!



 

 

 

6 Weeks...a Day Late

This week has been crazy. The Memorial Service for our fallen aviators was on Monday and man that was tough. The hardest part of the entire service (for me) was to hear Mr. Sig.frid's friend recall how happy he was to show the ultrasound photo to everyone at work. Mr. Sig.frid and his wife are expecting their first baby thanks to the miracle of IVF. She's a few months pregnant and now she has to go through everything without her husband. It just really hit very close to home for me and was hard to get through. I just imagine the pain the families are feeling right now, but especially Mrs. Sig.frid. So sad. =( It was a very nice service though--standing room only, bag pipes, 21 gun salute and taps. I hope that it helped begin the healing process for all of those affected.

This week has also been a symptom week from hell.  If the non-pregnant Megan could see the pregnant Megan, I'm pretty sure she'd slap her for complaining already. On Tuesday I could barely move because I had constipation and horrendous gas pains (I blame the veggie burger from BK that I had Monday after the memorial service.)  I couldn't stand upright, I couldn't eat, I couldn't even touch my stomach because it was so sore and full of gas that just wouldn't come out. It.was.horrible. and I was so, so scared that something was wrong. I even went as far as looking into signs of ectopic.pregnancies because I was in so much pain. By Wednesday it had let up somewhat, which was good since we had to drive to the clinic to get my third Beta.  I was praying for high numbers and that's what I got. I didn't get the exact number because the doctor distracted me by saying, "It might be twins!"  Now obviously I know that there's not way to estimate how many are in there based on blood tests but I'm feeling optimistic.

Symptoms:  Gas. Constipation. Fatigue. Oh and I threw up brushing my teeth on Thursday. Fun.
Total weight gain/loss: +2 pounds since the beginning of my IVF.
Maternity clothes? Still just the BeBand from Tar.get.
Sleep:  This week was rough because of all the uncomfortable gas pains, but it's getting better.
Best moment this week: Opening boxes from various relatives with presents inside for "Baby H....."
Movement:   It's way too early. 
Food cravings:  I craved pizza on Thursday again. When it got here I could only eat a piece. I think the baby(ies) forgot how much they like pizza. Nothing really sounds or tastes good right now.
Gender:  Too early.
Labor Signs:  Nope.
Belly Button in or out?  In.
What I miss:  Sleeping a solid 8 hours.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing our baby(ies) heartbeat(s) at our first ultrasound on 12/30.
Next Appointment: See above.
Weekly Wisdom:  Drink lots and lots of water. Don't skip a day of drinking enough water or there may be dire consequences. 
Milestones: Getting great betas.



I hope all of you have a wonderful and blessed Christmas. I know there are many out there who have recently suffered losses or who are still struggling with infertility. My heart goes out to all of you. I remember crying myself to sleep last Christmas because of the emptiness I felt in my heart. ((HUGS)) to all of you. I'm also thinking of all my fellow military spouses who are without their loved ones this Christmas.  I've been in your shoes a few times and I know how much you (and your spouse!) are sacrificing this year so that we can all celebrate Christmas in the warmth and comfort of our homes. Thank you so much. I hope next Christmas brings you lots of memories and togetherness! Merry Christmas, everyone!

All Is Well Again.

We received our fert report yesterday and I immediately logged on to blogger so that I could post about it. I received a notice that my blogger account had been disabled. Immediately, I panicked. I've been blogging since 2005, since before Mike's first deployment to Iraq. I have a LOT of stuff on blogger. Memories that have been long forgotten and "friends" that I lost because I could no longer access my Reader or comment on other blogs.  Doesn't Blogger know that I have many, many uteruses (uteri???) that I keep track of?! I have NO idea what happened but thank GOODNESS This Space For Rent is back up and running. Now I need to figure out how to create a back up, just in case the powers that be decide to eff with me again.

So....our fert report!  Five out of the seven eggs fertilized! We are set to do a 5 day transfer on Wednesday evening and we'll be transferring two embryos. I am SO excited. Last night I asked Mike what lucky socks I should wear and he wants me to lay them all out so we can decide together. <3

My trigger shot hurt like hell so I was extremely nervous for to begin my PIO injections last night. I reminded Mike to squeeze as hard as he could before he put the needle in, since that is what I think went wrong with the trigger shot. I laid down on my bed, gripped my headboard with both hands, felt the squeeze and asked him if he had injected me yet--he was already pushing the PIO in and I didn't even feel the shot. Thank goodness! I can totally handle this.

My boobs still hurt, I still can't button my pants and I've gained five pounds. I don't think I'm as emotionally crazy as I was expecting to be, but I'm sure Mike would disagree. I'm finished with all my paid orders and plan to take it super easy this week. Today I'm working on Christmas gifts though the pain in my butt makes sitting in my sewing chair a little awkward. By the way, I'm talking about the pain from my PIO injection, not Mike. :P

I hope everyone else is doing well and that no other blogs were affected. I about had a panic attack yesterday when I saw that my blog was gone  but all seems to be well in the blogosphere, at least for now.

It's Starting To Feel Real

Menopur comes in powder form and needs to be mixed before it can be injected and I received 40+ vials of diluent in the mail today. My Menopur will be here in a few days and I'll get my Lupron from my RE.  This is starting to feel real! Now, if Mike would just come home. I know some of my fellow military wives are rolling their eyes right now because it's only been a week and a half since MH left. Okay, okay you got me but it's been a long time since I had to be apart from him for this long and I have had zero contact with him for nearly a week thanks to the Mojave. He's in what's known as "the box" while they play glorified laser tag and blow stuff up and he'll be there for another eleven days. I've spent a total of eight or nine days with him since the last week of September. Ah, the life of an Army Wife.

I did put up a few decorations last weekend--pretty much everything except the tree and exterior lights. Mike and I have a tradition of buying ornaments every time we go somewhere so we like to reminisce every year when we put up the tree. We have about eight new ornaments this year from England and our trip to Leavenworth!



It's been pretty chilly here so I put on the flannel sheets last weekend. I love climbing into flannel sheets! Without Mike here to keep me warm at night I've been letting Bailey, my 65 pound mutt,  sleep under the blankets with me. She happily snoozes for about 15-20 minutes until she gets too hot and then moves to the top of the blankets. I know she misses Mike but she sure is happy when she gets to sleep with me!

My brother is having his TESA tomorrow so I'll be sending him some good vibes. Apparently the lady he spoke with at his clinic misquoted him and he is going to have to pay $800 more than he expected. Not exactly what you want to hear the day before your procedure. :( I really hope the procedure goes well for him. He's getting knocked out completely so I hope he doesn't have much pain afterward. 

Okay, one last picture. I took this when I was out and about last week. It was taken on the road to my subdivision and it's a rare day when we can see all of Mt. Rainier! Blue skies are kind of a rarity around here. Isn't the Pacific Northwest gorgeous?! ::swoon::

****************UPDATE*****************
I just found out that a soldier from here was killed in an accident at NTC, where Mike is currently training.  A styrker rolled over and one soldier died and four others were injured. The family has been notified so I know it's not Mike (he wouldn't be in a stryker anyway, but still......) but my heart is still pounding.  This is the absolute worst fear of a soldier's wife. This nightmare always crosses our minds when we say goodbye for a deployment but the thought of losing Mike during a training accident has never, ever crossed my mind before now. I hate the box and NTC now more than ever! Please keep the family in your prayers.

Saturday Night

Warning: This post may or may not be one, long, seemingly endless ramble. This is what happens when I'm in a house for days on end with no human interaction. You know you've been alone too long when you talk to your pets and you expect them to answer you. Consider yourself warned.

What do you do when you're a "bachelorette" on a Saturday night? Re-vamp the blog and watch Beauty and the Beast--duh!  Aladdin is on now and I can hardly concentrate while I type this post because my brain keeps telling me to sing along with the movie.  I was seven when Beauty and the Beast came out and eight when Aladdin came out. Holy shite. Talk about feeling old! What do you think of the new look on the blog? I thought the screaming lady would set the tone for the blog nicely since I'm pretty sure that's what I look like most days, only crazier.

Rory's Stocking

Earlier today I made a surprise for my thirteen year old niece, Gabrielle. She has been wanting a dog for years and she finally gets to bring home her pup Thanksgiving weekend! My sister mentioned to me that Gabrielle has been concerned that "Rory" doesn't have a Christmas stocking yet. Aunt Megan to the rescue! It turned out so cute that I think I'm going to have to make my zoo new stockings too! 

Oh, oh! Guess what's been shipped from Great Britain and is on its way to me? My Menopur! It should be here no later than the 10th, which will work out perfectly timing-wise.  Apparently it comes in a powder form and has to be re-constituted with saline. Thanks to a couple generous Bumpies, I will have plenty.  It's amazing how the common thread of infertility can bring a group of women together, isn't it?   The support and advice that I have received from this board has been such a comfort.  No matter how much I read, I still don't think I'll ever be 100% prepared for IVF. I think that I'm just going to have jump in with both feet. I'm trying to push the injections out of my mind and trying to focus on one thing at a time. First thing--sonohysterogram. It seems like experiences vary from person to person, just like with the HSG. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and my HSG hurt.like.hell. I always had high expectations to have a natural child birth until that moment. Even my IUIs were uncomfortable so I want to hear from my readers, what was your experience like? Did you take any pain medication before hand? Did you have someone go with you to the appointment? Mike will still be gone when I have mine so I've asked a friend to go with me. Lay it all out for me!

November IVF

Well, I finally talked to my RE yesterday and he said that the timing of Mike's return will work out well. So, people, Mike and I will be doing IVF in November, an entire nine months ahead of when we would have originally cycled on post. Nine months? Coincidence? Hmmm........Now let's just pray that Uncle Sam brings Mike home as scheduled. He's training in the middle of the Mojave and I won't get to talk to him for the next fifteen days so I will be deep into stimming by the time I hear from him again.

I will be doing the Lupron Flare/ Mini Lupron protocol, which sounds a lot better to me considering my low ovarian reserve. I ordered my Menopur today and spent the equivalent of a Walt Disney World Vacation. Like how my mind works?  Now, I just wait for my period. I'll go in for my blood work, baseline ultrasound and uterine sounding, start Lupron on CD2 and stims on CD3! Now that I know that I will definitely be doing 75% of my shots alone, I am getting pretty freaked. I am especially nervous for the Menopur burn that I've heard so much about. Can anyone offer me any insight? At least Mike will be home by the time I have to start PIO.

We are a military family but are very fortunate to now be stationed only about an hour away from one of my brothers. You might remember that my brother was diagnosed with azoospermia last summer and was told that IVF with ICSI would be his only chance of having a biological child.  I knew that they were gearing up to do IVF as well but I found out last night that my SIL and I will be two or three days apart in our cycles! We will be on stims and have our egg retrievals within days of each other. How crazy is that?  I was brought home from the hospital on my brother's 11th birthday and he likes to tell everyone about how I ruined his day. We were living in NM at the time and it showed that day! All of his friends wanted him to go out in the snow to play but my mom made him stay inside with his new baby sister. The snow was gone by the next day--haha! I said to him last night, "If this works for all of us we could have kids within days of each other! My kid could ruin your kid's birthday!" Ha!

I'm trying to remain positive but so many months of disappointment have turned me into a negative nancy. I just keep thinking, "What if this doesn't work?" and now "What if this only works for one of us?"  I am doing my best to push all those scary thoughts out of my mind but it's extremely tough. I really want to turn my attitude around because I've ready so much about how beneficial a positive attitude can be.  Who has some tips on how to remain positive during an IVF cycle?

I have been fighting a flea problem since the cats came home from the kennel with them.  After three treatments, a spraying of all the carpets and multiple flea bathsI think I have finally taken care of the problem, at least I hope I have. I haven't been sewing as much as I'd like but I'm trying to remain as stress free as possible right now and don't want to get overwhelmed with too many orders. My waiting list is nearing 100 people long though and I'm still working on orders from July. Once I start meds, I have no idea how I'm going to feel and I already know that I will need a few days off for appointments and bed rest after the ER. I'm sure the people on my waiting list aren't going to be very happy but I don't really feel like it's any of their business what is going on in my personal life. I just know that the majority of them would not understand and would try to offer well intended but unwanted advice.

I still haven't decorated for Christmas but I have started planning on what I'm going to get Mike.  I found this awesome fabric on Monday and plan to make some PJ pants for him!

Our Christmas last year was really, really hard and I actually cried myself to sleep on Christmas Eve.  This year, we're not able to go anywhere for Christmas because of the financial strain of IVF but I'm hoping we'll at least get to spend Christmas with my brother and SIL. I hope we all have a good reason to celebrate!

Proof That I'm the Cool Aunt

My oldest niece and nephew, Gabrielle and Ben, decided to dress up as Mike and I for Halloween--Chucks, tattoo sleeves and all. They looked so cute! Gabrielle even put a fake Monroe piercing on her face, exactly where I have my real one. Some people joked that they even managed to get the height difference to scale--Mike's three inches shorter than I am. Haha.

 

 In case you're wondering, I have actually had pink hair a few different times in my life. Thus, the inspiration for Gabs' pink wig. Mike actually had bihawks when I met him, which is why Ben has a purple mohawk. Mike's bald now and I tease him that all his hair fell out because of all the hair product and dye he used growing up. 

I managed to survive Halloween. I spend the evening at a friend's house on post and HOLY COW, talk about procreation city!  She lives in the same housing that we'll be moving into in a few months and I made a mental note to buy costco size bags of candy for next year. I nearly teared up when I first saw the couple of little cuties but I drank a beer and told myself that I was going to enjoy the evening. I wish Mike would have been here though.

Gabrielle is calling today "Gilmore Girls Day." 11-1-11. If you get the reference, you're a true fan! Haha!  Today is also the day where I would normally bust out the garland and Andy Williams, but I'm not feeling all that festive yet this year. I already started listening to good ole Bing Crosby on Pandora but I don't think I'm ready to tackle the totes and totes of Christmas decorations in our garage all by myself. Maybe this weekend!

I never heard from my doctor or the pharmacy yesterday so I just called Freedom Pharmacy to inquire about my prescription. Right away they asked me if this was for an IUI or IVF cycle. Well, crap. I wasn't going to LIE. I know there are probably some women who would lie, just to get their meds covered by Tricare, but I couldn't do that without feeling insanely guilty. So now I'm just waiting for them to call me back and tell me that Tricare denied coverage so that I can pay for the meds and get them shipped sooner rather than later. It stinks but I suppose that I should be thankful that everything up to this point has been covered, which the exception of the IUIs.

Gabrielle is calling today "Gilmore Girls Day." 11-1-11. If you get the reference, you're a true fan! Haha!  Today is also the day where I would normally bust out the garland and Andy Williams, but I'm not feeling all that festive yet this year. I already started listening to good ole Bing Crosby on Pandora but I don't think I'm ready to tackle the totes and totes of Christmas decorations in our garage all by myself. Maybe this weekend! Are there any other crazy people who decorate for Christmas super early like me? Christmas lovers unite!