I
can hardly believe that in one year we went from here:
to here:
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Dec 6, 2012
Happy St. Nicholas Day #2
Happy St. Nicholas Day to all my readers! I've been looking forward to this day for awhile. One year ago today I found out that our IVF had worked and
I had a baby growing in my tummy. We were so shocked. We were
overjoyed. When Mike went to work I was scared to move off our bed for
fear of doing something to make it all go away. Those early days of
pregnancy were so incredibly surreal. I just didn't believe that it was
finally happening to me. I remember going into the Maternity section at
Target and feeling uncomfortable (I think I compared it to Mor.dor)
Oct 8, 2012
Miracle Babies
I can only hope and pray that we're this lucky!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/02/infertility_n_1933500.html?icid=hp_parents_art_more
Aug 15, 2012
I'm a MOMMY!
How do I even choose where to begin? When I last left you I was having what I thought was practice labor. I watched the U.S. Women's Soccer team kick butt and win another gold medal, took a little nap and continued to experience contractions. Around 4:30 I texted Mike and asked when he was coming home. I wasn't in a lot of pain, contractions were still about 7-8 minutes apart but something inside me wanted him home with me. I was sitting on the birth ball when he arrived home with the Subway dinner I had requested. I was so hungry! I ate almost my entire foot long before I started feeling a little queasy and made myself stop eating. Around 6:00 Mike and I decided to go for another walk to see if it would help bring my contractions closer together. At this point I was having to lean on him during contractions and wanted him to be quiet. He referred to my contractions as waves and was starting to pick up on their pattern. He was reassuring me when he knew they were intensifying and was helping me through them by letting me know when it was almost over. In between contractions I was still very much engaged in conversation and Mike and I were talking happily about different things. Like how for the past few days I wanted to avoid the world and just stay safe and cozy in our house and about what it would be like when the baby finally came. I kept telling him that I hope all the contractions were doing something because I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle prodromal labor for days. I told him i wasn't afraid of labor, just of it going on for days. I wasnt afraid, I was ready. Remember the last time I walked with Zero it slowed my contractions down instead of making them closer together or stronger? Not this time. I told Mike that according to the 5-1-1 rule we could probably go to the hospital but that I wanted to wait. I wasn't ready to go anywhere yet.
Around 6:45 I felt the urgent need to get back to the house as soon as possible because I was afraid my food was going to go right through me. Luckily we hadn't gone too far from the house and I made it to the bathroom just in time. I had a loose stool, felt a little sick and still wasn't convinced that this was really labor. I updated Sam, my doula extraordinaire, and she assured me that this all sounded very promising and could be early labor. *Quotes are from the birth story Sam wrote for me.* I asked Mike if we could go walking again. This time we made it about 50 yards before I wanted to turn around and go home. I wanted to be in the privacy and security of our home and I wanted to rest. It was about 7:30 and I asked Mike if he would go buy me some Tylenol PM so I could try to get some sleep since my contractions were back to 7-8 minutes apart. Sam said that it definitely sounded like an on again off again pattern of prelabor and that my body was gearing up for the real thing! I told her that the pain I was feeling then was psyching me out for the big ones and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle 'real' labor pains. She assured me that the longer I had the prelabor contractions the longer my body would get to adjust and the "easier" my labor would be.
Around 8:00 we went upstairs to our bedroom and things become kind of blurry for me at this point.
I remember having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed. I was feeling a lot of pressure and tightness in my back and preferred the hands and knees position when a contraction came. Mike rubbed my back and my feet and tried to keep me as relaxed as possible. Everything was totally quiet. I was no longer functional enough to grab my phone to track my contractions and I was moaning to get through it. Mike kept telling me, "Good job, Megan. Let it out, let it out..." This went on for the next few hours. As I said--a blur. Around midnight I remember going through a particularly hard contraction and feeling a pop. I immediately said to Mike, "I think my water broke." He asked if I felt a pop and I said yes, sat up and felt a gush. I told Mike that I was ready to go to the hospital but that I wanted to take a shower and try to relax first. When I got to the bathroom to get into the shower another contraction hit and I vomited all over myself and the floor. Mike helped get me undressed and into the shower. I told him to text Sam and tell her about the pop I felt. It was 12:30 and contractions were about 3 minutes apart.
I stayed in the shower while Mike texted Sam and called the on-call midwife. During this time I guess I decided it would be a good idea to shave my legs--what?!--because Mike came back into the bathroom while I was in the middle of a contraction and told me to drop the razor. I was moaning and leaning against the shower wall letting the hot water fall on my back. It took a lot of convincing to get me out of that shower and I vomited again before getting out. Mike put the dogs up, grabbed the last minute items we needed and we headed to the car. I asked him to slide the passenger seat all the way forward so that I could get in the back seat on my hands and knees--there was NO way I would be able to sit in a seat. Since it was the middle of the night there was no traffic, thankfully, but it was the longest 20 minute car ride EVER. Mike was doing his best to comfort me through contractions, putting one hand on my back and coaching me through each wave, as he drove. I asked Sam to hurry and told her how much it hurt. I was starting to get scared from the pain and my mind was doubting whether or not I could stick to my birth plan and forgo drugs. The ER parking lot was pretty empty and thankfully we found a spot right up front. It was 1:00 when we got there and I remember about five different people asking if I wanted a wheelchair. Didn't these people know that the last thing I wanted to do was to sit down?
While Mike answered a million questions I was leaning on the counter and moaning and rocking my hips to get through the contractions. I remember wondering if I was scaring the other people in the ER waiting area. The nurse kept asking me if I felt the urge to push but I wasn't feeling that yet. They had to page labor and delivery a second time because they were taking their sweet time. I vomited a third time--thank goodness Mike had brought a grocery bag. At 1:30 a nurse from L&D finally arrived--with a wheelchair that I didn't want--at the same time that Sam arrived. I don't know how long it took us to get upstairs because I had to stop a lot to get through the contractions. It was in the hallway that I said the words, "I don't want to do this anymore." for the first time. They put us in a triage room at first and I immediately noticed there was no tub. My birth plan was a water birth. It was then that we were informed that the plumbing was being repaired and would be out until 5 am. There was no way to fill a tub and I would not be getting my water birth.
Sam grabbed a birth ball and told me to try it out to see if it helped alleviate my back pain but I wanted nothing to do with it. I went to the bed and they hooked me up to the monitors--baby's heart rate was un-reactive/flat during contractions so constant monitoring was necessary. I was convinced I wanted an epidural. I insisted that I couldn't do it anymore and Mike kept reminding me that I was doing it. At 2:30 a nurse checked me and I was already 7cm and baby was fully in position! I had been having contractions on and off all day and exhaustion was grabbing hold--I started begging Mike for an epidural. I begged him not to be mad at me. He assured me that he was not mad at me and he reminded me of all the reasons I did not want an epidural in the first place--risk of labor stalling, risk of c-section, adverse reactions, etc. I wouldn't hear it though--I wanted relief--but Mike and Sam came up with a compromise: get through five more contractions and we would re-evaluate before committing to an epidural. Contractions were 1-1.5 minutes apart. I agreed but told them that I just wanted it to be over and that I didn't want to do it anymore. Again, I begged for the epidural and Sam reminded me that I had three more contractions to go.
At 3:00 the nurse began prepping me for the epidural by placing an IV. She couldn't get it started so the anesthesiologist came in to place the line. While the line was being placed I had bright bloody discharge and Sam was convinced that I was already at least 8 or maybe even 10 centimeters and she told me that I would have my baby in my arms by 4:30. Mike and Sam were doing everything they could to keep the epidural from being placed. They reminded me how far I had come, how hard I worked and how close I was to meeting my baby. I wasn't having any of it though and I was immediately moved to a delivery room after the IV was placed.
At 3:15 the anesthesiologist came into the room and very briefly explained the benefits and risks of an epidural. I thought to myself, "I am in no state to make a major decision like this. I can't believe they're letting me make a decision like this right now." Exactly two sentences came out of his mouth before he turned to Sam and rudely said, "When I place the epidural you need to leave the room." He was not pleased that Mike and Sam were trying to delay the epidural as long as possible. The anesthesiologist had brought in all the equipment for the epidural before any paperwork had even been signed so Sam asked the nurse to remove it all from the room.
They placed Hazel on my belly and as I sobbed I said to her, "Happy Birthday! We've waited so long to meet you!!!" I was in a daze--I felt as high as a kite. I didn't have my contacts in so I couldn't see her very clearly but I could hear her cry. I can not even begin to describe the relief I felt. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I could hardly believe that after 4.5 years I was finally holding a baby of my own. I remember looking at Mike and saying, "I did it! I can't believe I did it!" He looked into my eyes and said, "I can."
I asked Sam to come to our postpartum room with us because I wanted a picture of her and Hazel.
She was such a beautiful pink color and I told Mike, "She smells pink!'
Over the past few days I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my birth. I have never felt so proud of myself in my life. I was able to stick to my natural birth plan but I couldn't have done it without Samantha and Mike. Mike was absolutely amazing during the entire thing. He really was my source of comfort and support. I remember crying out to him in pain--I needed him. He did everything he could to help me stick to my birth plan. Even though I was begging for relief and for it to be over he knew knew how important a natural birth was to me and without his help I don't think I would have made it. As far as my doula Sam---neither Mike nor myself would have made it without her help and support. When the pain was at its worst she promised me that I would be having a baby in an hour and a half--and I did! During one particular bad contraction I looked at Mike and told him I wanted drugs. He said that I broke his soul with that look and he would have given in had Sam not been there to back him up. If you're even considering a natural birth--HIRE A DOULA. I will be forever grateful for Samantha's help during my labor and I like to think I've made a new lifetime friend.
I am so overcome with emotion as I look back on the pictures from that day. I feel such a strong spiritual connection with other women who have done this before me. I feel empowered. I feel strong. But...
Around 6:45 I felt the urgent need to get back to the house as soon as possible because I was afraid my food was going to go right through me. Luckily we hadn't gone too far from the house and I made it to the bathroom just in time. I had a loose stool, felt a little sick and still wasn't convinced that this was really labor. I updated Sam, my doula extraordinaire, and she assured me that this all sounded very promising and could be early labor. *Quotes are from the birth story Sam wrote for me.* I asked Mike if we could go walking again. This time we made it about 50 yards before I wanted to turn around and go home. I wanted to be in the privacy and security of our home and I wanted to rest. It was about 7:30 and I asked Mike if he would go buy me some Tylenol PM so I could try to get some sleep since my contractions were back to 7-8 minutes apart. Sam said that it definitely sounded like an on again off again pattern of prelabor and that my body was gearing up for the real thing! I told her that the pain I was feeling then was psyching me out for the big ones and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle 'real' labor pains. She assured me that the longer I had the prelabor contractions the longer my body would get to adjust and the "easier" my labor would be.
"Find
yourself a mantra. something that really jumps out at you. Keep that in
your mind! You and Mike have worked SO hard for this little lady--you
are already stronger than you know. You will work hard at bringing her
to your arms, but it's only for a short while. Minimal!"
8/9 7:36 pm
I remember having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed. I was feeling a lot of pressure and tightness in my back and preferred the hands and knees position when a contraction came. Mike rubbed my back and my feet and tried to keep me as relaxed as possible. Everything was totally quiet. I was no longer functional enough to grab my phone to track my contractions and I was moaning to get through it. Mike kept telling me, "Good job, Megan. Let it out, let it out..." This went on for the next few hours. As I said--a blur. Around midnight I remember going through a particularly hard contraction and feeling a pop. I immediately said to Mike, "I think my water broke." He asked if I felt a pop and I said yes, sat up and felt a gush. I told Mike that I was ready to go to the hospital but that I wanted to take a shower and try to relax first. When I got to the bathroom to get into the shower another contraction hit and I vomited all over myself and the floor. Mike helped get me undressed and into the shower. I told him to text Sam and tell her about the pop I felt. It was 12:30 and contractions were about 3 minutes apart.
I stayed in the shower while Mike texted Sam and called the on-call midwife. During this time I guess I decided it would be a good idea to shave my legs--what?!--because Mike came back into the bathroom while I was in the middle of a contraction and told me to drop the razor. I was moaning and leaning against the shower wall letting the hot water fall on my back. It took a lot of convincing to get me out of that shower and I vomited again before getting out. Mike put the dogs up, grabbed the last minute items we needed and we headed to the car. I asked him to slide the passenger seat all the way forward so that I could get in the back seat on my hands and knees--there was NO way I would be able to sit in a seat. Since it was the middle of the night there was no traffic, thankfully, but it was the longest 20 minute car ride EVER. Mike was doing his best to comfort me through contractions, putting one hand on my back and coaching me through each wave, as he drove. I asked Sam to hurry and told her how much it hurt. I was starting to get scared from the pain and my mind was doubting whether or not I could stick to my birth plan and forgo drugs. The ER parking lot was pretty empty and thankfully we found a spot right up front. It was 1:00 when we got there and I remember about five different people asking if I wanted a wheelchair. Didn't these people know that the last thing I wanted to do was to sit down?
While Mike answered a million questions I was leaning on the counter and moaning and rocking my hips to get through the contractions. I remember wondering if I was scaring the other people in the ER waiting area. The nurse kept asking me if I felt the urge to push but I wasn't feeling that yet. They had to page labor and delivery a second time because they were taking their sweet time. I vomited a third time--thank goodness Mike had brought a grocery bag. At 1:30 a nurse from L&D finally arrived--with a wheelchair that I didn't want--at the same time that Sam arrived. I don't know how long it took us to get upstairs because I had to stop a lot to get through the contractions. It was in the hallway that I said the words, "I don't want to do this anymore." for the first time. They put us in a triage room at first and I immediately noticed there was no tub. My birth plan was a water birth. It was then that we were informed that the plumbing was being repaired and would be out until 5 am. There was no way to fill a tub and I would not be getting my water birth.
Sam grabbed a birth ball and told me to try it out to see if it helped alleviate my back pain but I wanted nothing to do with it. I went to the bed and they hooked me up to the monitors--baby's heart rate was un-reactive/flat during contractions so constant monitoring was necessary. I was convinced I wanted an epidural. I insisted that I couldn't do it anymore and Mike kept reminding me that I was doing it. At 2:30 a nurse checked me and I was already 7cm and baby was fully in position! I had been having contractions on and off all day and exhaustion was grabbing hold--I started begging Mike for an epidural. I begged him not to be mad at me. He assured me that he was not mad at me and he reminded me of all the reasons I did not want an epidural in the first place--risk of labor stalling, risk of c-section, adverse reactions, etc. I wouldn't hear it though--I wanted relief--but Mike and Sam came up with a compromise: get through five more contractions and we would re-evaluate before committing to an epidural. Contractions were 1-1.5 minutes apart. I agreed but told them that I just wanted it to be over and that I didn't want to do it anymore. Again, I begged for the epidural and Sam reminded me that I had three more contractions to go.
At 3:00 the nurse began prepping me for the epidural by placing an IV. She couldn't get it started so the anesthesiologist came in to place the line. While the line was being placed I had bright bloody discharge and Sam was convinced that I was already at least 8 or maybe even 10 centimeters and she told me that I would have my baby in my arms by 4:30. Mike and Sam were doing everything they could to keep the epidural from being placed. They reminded me how far I had come, how hard I worked and how close I was to meeting my baby. I wasn't having any of it though and I was immediately moved to a delivery room after the IV was placed.
"Mike was doing a fantastic job helping Megan to remain centered and Megan had gotten herself into a great place, mentally and physically. Rocking seemed to be her rhythm and her urge to push had started."
I was starting to feel a lot of pressure and it was at this point that I felt myself snap out of la la land. I realized how close I was to meeting my baby girl. Our miracle. Still, it wasn't time to push yet so Sam helped me blow through contractions and resist the urge to push. My contractions were 2 minutes apart and I was getting about 4-6 minute breaks in between during my transition phase. Mike and Sam kept encouraging me and telling me how strong I was. We were getting so close and the midwife still wasn't there.
It took a lot of convincing to allow the nurse to check me again--I knew it was going to hurt and I didn't want more pain. At 3:35 I was 8.5 cm and while my contractions had slowed quite a bit the urge to push was getting stronger and stronger. I started to feel like someone was holding a match against my vagina--the burning was so intense but in a way it was a relief from the contractions that I had been feeling just minutes before. I think it was during this time that Mike had to remove his wedding ring because I may have been crushing his hand a wee bit. Mike asked if they had a chance to review my birth plan since we had requested immediate skin-to-skin, delay cord clamping and to retain my placenta.
"Megan knew it was almost time to push and her demeanor completely changed. She was ready to get to 10 cm and push Baby H. into her arms. She was completely focused and serious, no more desire for an epidural. At 3:50, before the nurse could even get out the door, Megan said she was feeling a lot of pressure and couldn't fight against pushing. She also let out a very vocal and very different reaction to that contraction, so we all knew it was time for her to push. Megan was at 10 cm and felt baby's head very down low. "
At 3:55 I started to push. I pushed when I wanted to push. The lights were low and there was no one screaming at me. I was allowing my body to do the work. There was no more resisting. I don't know how to describe it other than it felt like the world's biggest bowel movement. I remember telling myself with each contraction, "You are one step closer to meeting your baby...You are one step closer to meeting your baby." The midwife came in just before crowning. I was still laying on my side and putting a lot of energy into gripping the bed with my arms so they suggested I roll onto my back, grab my legs and put the energy into bearing down instead. I can hear Sam's voice saying, "You are so strong, Megan!" when I was pushing. This let me know that all my hard work was doing something. I was extremely vocal at this point and heard Mike make a noise that sounded like a laugh and I yelled, "Don't laugh at me!" he wasn't laughing. He was already crying. I asked, "Is she coming!?" and screaming out as I felt her head emerge. The ring of fire was intense but it was such a relief to be pushing. I could feel my body working toward something and I was so focused on my little girl being in my arms very soon. In one big gush I felt her emerge from my body and I heard the midwife and nurses say, "Look down Megan! Here's your baby!"
At 0417 Hazel Evelyn was born.
I was finally a mommy.
They placed Hazel on my belly and as I sobbed I said to her, "Happy Birthday! We've waited so long to meet you!!!" I was in a daze--I felt as high as a kite. I didn't have my contacts in so I couldn't see her very clearly but I could hear her cry. I can not even begin to describe the relief I felt. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I could hardly believe that after 4.5 years I was finally holding a baby of my own. I remember looking at Mike and saying, "I did it! I can't believe I did it!" He looked into my eyes and said, "I can."
I laid there in kind of a fog while we waited for her cord to stop pulsing. Mike got to do the honors of cutting it.
I felt like I was in a dream.
I told Mike that she smelled like vanilla.
I birthed my placenta without any issues and they took it away to make sure it was intact. Sam kept a close watch on it since we planned to take it home for encapsulation.
The midwife started to press on my abdomen to get my uterus to contract. I was told that I was bleeding a lot and they asked if they could give me a small dose of pitocin to help stop the bleeding. I was on a total baby high at that point. They probably could have told me they were injecting anti-freeze and I wouldn't have cared. I had a 2nd degree tear that needed to be stitched up as well but all I was thinking about was the new life in my arms.
While we were waiting to be moved into a postpartum room I told Mike how hungry I was. Thankfully we had planned ahead and packed some Clif Bars and Sam gave me some water. The sun was starting to come up.
Hazel came out with a lot of vernix on her lower body. She weighed 7 lb 12 oz and was 19.75 inches long. Her apgar score was 9/9.
I asked Sam to come to our postpartum room with us because I wanted a picture of her and Hazel.
There are no words to describe how I felt after giving birth to my miracle baby after four years of infertility. Numerous painful tests, a surgery, failed procedure after failed procedure, years of heartache. All of that went away in an instant.
Hazel was worth the wait.
Over the past few days I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my birth. I have never felt so proud of myself in my life. I was able to stick to my natural birth plan but I couldn't have done it without Samantha and Mike. Mike was absolutely amazing during the entire thing. He really was my source of comfort and support. I remember crying out to him in pain--I needed him. He did everything he could to help me stick to my birth plan. Even though I was begging for relief and for it to be over he knew knew how important a natural birth was to me and without his help I don't think I would have made it. As far as my doula Sam---neither Mike nor myself would have made it without her help and support. When the pain was at its worst she promised me that I would be having a baby in an hour and a half--and I did! During one particular bad contraction I looked at Mike and told him I wanted drugs. He said that I broke his soul with that look and he would have given in had Sam not been there to back him up. If you're even considering a natural birth--HIRE A DOULA. I will be forever grateful for Samantha's help during my labor and I like to think I've made a new lifetime friend.
I am so overcome with emotion as I look back on the pictures from that day. I feel such a strong spiritual connection with other women who have done this before me. I feel empowered. I feel strong. But...
If I had to pick one word to describe how I feel it would be
THANKFUL.
Thankful we found Dr. Moruzzi. Thankful our IVF worked. Thankful that we had loving and supportive friends and family who helped us through the dark times and rejoiced with us in the good. Thankful that I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and a textbook natural delivery. Thankful that Mike and Sam got me through it.
Thankful for my miracle baby.
Thankful for my miracle baby.
Even now, with all the emotions and memories of birth so fresh and raw, I would gladly do it all again tomorrow. She is so beyond what I could have ever imagined. She is my dream come true.
Aug 9, 2012
Practice Labor?
After having my membranes stripped yesterday I was been having some cramps and a few slight contractions. Sometime in the middle of the night the contractions picked up in intensity enough to wake me up at least once an hour. While I was laying in bed this morning they started to come more regularly and surprised me with how uncomfortable they were. I got out of bed and tried bouncing on my ball and the contractions kept coming, about 7-8 minutes apart. I had some breakfast and decided to go for a walk with Zero. Do you know what happened on my walk? The effing contractions slowed down....a lot. Tjey all but stopped and it was then that my doula told me it sounded like I was having practice labor. Dear Lord. I only pray this doesn't go on for days. I took a wee little nap and unfortunately it was during the Gold Medal Women's Soccer Match but at least I was awake for the finish! I'm still contracting and they're still requiring to breathe through them but it doesn't look like I'll be having a baby today. The bright side is that I've heard all this practice labor helps prepare my body better for the real thing and can make active labor faster. I sure hope so because I'm starting to psyche myself over whether or not I will really be able to handle the real thing.
Aug 8, 2012
Just Kidding!
I woke up this morning and noticed some pink tinged liquid on my pad. I didn't get too excited but then the contractions started. Again, didn't get too excited. I had a feeling it might be labor but I was leaning more toward probably not. I tried going back to bed since, you know, you're supposed to rest as much as possible during early labor. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. After about an hour of pretty steady contractions I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom and guess what? The contractions stopped after clearing out my bowels. Lovely. i continued to have some menstrual-like cramping though. The on-call midwife told me that I could either come in to L&D to get checked out or I could wait until the clinic opened and see my midwife. Since the contractions had all but stopped and I was leaking minimal amounts of pink fluid I decided to wait to see my midwife. I gave my doula a heads up, Mike and I packed our last minute items in our hospital bags just in case I was admitted and we headed to the clinic.
She explained that the fluid I was seeing was just regular discharged tinged with blood from my cervix thinning--hooray for effacement! The EPO must be doing something because I was only 30% last Friday and was 60% today so something is definitely going on. We will not talk about the two pounds I managed to gain between now and then. What the fuck? I'mgoing to say it's water retention since I'm all swollen again. Yup, that's it. My midwife also commented that baby must have dropped because I was measuring smaller. Mike commented yesterday about that and I guess he was right! I felt kind of dumb going in for something minimal but I didn't know what was going on. After a friend had a baby less than an hour after her water breaking I figured I'd better play it safe. I'm glad I went in. I'm still just 1cm but I'll take it. She stripped my membranes again and it was definitely way more uncomfortable this time than last week and I've been having some intense cramping/random contractions since then as well as more pink discharge. Hopefully our baby girl will be making an appearance before too long!!!
I have been going stir crazy just sitting at home and wondering, "Is today going to be the day?" so I decided to get out of the house today. I headed to a lavender farm with my doula and another friend and her baby and while I was having some difficult walking and bending and had a brief encounter with a snake on my foot, it was really nice to get out of the house. I picked a bundle of lavender that I'm going to dry and give to my midwife as a thank you gift--she always smells like lavender when I see her so I figured she'd like it. :) I also go some white chocolate lavender fudge that is deeeeelish! Now it's time to track the contractions that I'm having, put my feet up and rest because getting up at 0500 does not suit me.We're in single digits now, people!
She explained that the fluid I was seeing was just regular discharged tinged with blood from my cervix thinning--hooray for effacement! The EPO must be doing something because I was only 30% last Friday and was 60% today so something is definitely going on. We will not talk about the two pounds I managed to gain between now and then. What the fuck? I'mgoing to say it's water retention since I'm all swollen again. Yup, that's it. My midwife also commented that baby must have dropped because I was measuring smaller. Mike commented yesterday about that and I guess he was right! I felt kind of dumb going in for something minimal but I didn't know what was going on. After a friend had a baby less than an hour after her water breaking I figured I'd better play it safe. I'm glad I went in. I'm still just 1cm but I'll take it. She stripped my membranes again and it was definitely way more uncomfortable this time than last week and I've been having some intense cramping/random contractions since then as well as more pink discharge. Hopefully our baby girl will be making an appearance before too long!!!
I have been going stir crazy just sitting at home and wondering, "Is today going to be the day?" so I decided to get out of the house today. I headed to a lavender farm with my doula and another friend and her baby and while I was having some difficult walking and bending and had a brief encounter with a snake on my foot, it was really nice to get out of the house. I picked a bundle of lavender that I'm going to dry and give to my midwife as a thank you gift--she always smells like lavender when I see her so I figured she'd like it. :) I also go some white chocolate lavender fudge that is deeeeelish! Now it's time to track the contractions that I'm having, put my feet up and rest because getting up at 0500 does not suit me.We're in single digits now, people!
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| Lavender bundle and white chocolate lavender fudge! |
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| 38w5d pregnant in a field of lavender |
Aug 6, 2012
If My Infertile Self Could See Me Now....
If my infertile self could see or hear me now I am pretty sure she'd slap me. I've officially become that whiny, miserable pregnant woman. I have absolutely loved being pregnant, even when I threw up the first 18 weeks, but these past few days have been awful. I never understood that, "I'm done." feeling I've read about on my birth month board for the last several weeks but I understand it now. I feel huge, I ache all over, it's increasingly difficult every single day to even get out of bed or off the couch or put on my shoes. Of course the heat wave we've been having in the Pacific Northwest hasn't helped. Our weather here is generally pretty mild--40s in the winter and high 70s in the summer. If it gets above 80 people start complaining and 90 is just downright awful because most people don't have AC here. It's been 90+ the past two days and it's been kicking my butt. Just walking from the car to the inside of a store took all my energy. I feel like a crippled Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. My swelling has been pretty good for the past few weeks but has returned with a vengeance. Sleeping at 38 weeks pregnant is hard enough when it's not 75+ degrees in your room at night. Seriously, I should just smack myself, right?
Ultimately, I know she will come when she's ready and I know these last few weeks are very important for her health but I still can't wait to meet my baby!!!
Ultimately, I know she will come when she's ready and I know these last few weeks are very important for her health but I still can't wait to meet my baby!!!
Aug 5, 2012
The Twins Are Here!!!
For those who don't know, my sister-in-law and I had overlapping IVF cycles last November. Last fall, my brother was diagnosed with azoospermia and after testicular mapping it was determined that conception was possible through IVF and sperm extraction. Her egg retrieval was two days after mine and it has been so nice to go through all everything together and at the same time. She knew how scary IVF was and we could commiserate during our pregnancies. God bless Shannon--she carried these beautiful babies to 37w6d!!! They are healthy and beautiful. Mike and I drove up to Seattle today to meet them--they were about 13 hours old by the time we got there. These are the first children for my brother and #3 and #4 for SIL, who has two teenage boys from a previous marriage.
Arthur_Cormick was born August 4 at 22:40 weighing 6 lbs 9 oz and 19.5". Sadie_Eliza came at 22:46, 6 lbs 3 oz and 19.5"! Aren't they the sweetest?!
Arthur was SIL's grandpa's name. McCormick was my mom's maiden name. Sadie is just a name SIL loved and Eliza is a tribute to all the Elizabeths in both our families.
It was so much fun to watch Mike with the twins. It was his first time around newborns and he was just in total amazement. I'm so excited to see how he's going to be with our little girl and both of us are so anxious to meet her now that we've snuggled these cuties.
Soaking up that intoxicating baby smell....
Uncle Mike and Arthur (that's proud big brother in the background)
Sweet Sadie
38 Weeks
Sorry for the late post. How many of you thought it was because I was busy having a baby?! No such luck. Baby girl is still cooking...
How big is baby?
Symptoms: Swelling is back due to the heat. Aches, pains, hunger, fatigue.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +40.5
Maternity Clothes: Yup. Even my big shirts aren't covering my belly anymore though.
Sleep: I miss it.
Best Moment This Week: Meeting my brother's twins (Pictures to follow!)
Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Still very active. I feel lots of feet in my ribs still.
Food Cravings: Surprisingly--nothing really!
Labor Signs: I was checked last Friday and I was 1cm and 30% effaced. I had my membranes swept and later that day I was kind of crampy and actually lost bits of my mucus plug that night. Nothing has been going on since though. I've been bouncing vigorously and continuing my EPO.
Belly Button In or Out? Depending on her position it's either a slight outie or big outie.
What I miss: Being able to move freely.
What I am looking forward to: Cuddling my baby girl. Something switched on in the past few days and I am ready for her to come out now!
Next Appointment: 9 August at 38w6d.
Milestones: Baby is about 18.9 to 20.9 inches long and weighs about 6.2 to 9.2 pounds. Her head is now about the same circumference as her abdomen. She may have about an inch or so of hair already. She's slowly shedding that white goo on her skin (called vernix caseosa) but you might see some of it at birth.
Aug 1, 2012
We're Having a Baby This Month!
Happy August 1st, everyone. I can not believe I can now say, "We're having a baby this month!!!!!" Where has the time gone? I definitely feel like the first two trimesters just flew by and this third has been draaaaagging on. Probably because we've been pretty much prepared for her arrival since 30 weeks. I finished my baby quilt a couple weeks ago and I've been just twiddling my thumbs since. The days seem to drag on and on but that might also be because it pretty much hurts and exhausts me to do anything. Getting out of bed is the worse! Thanks to pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel, my hands and wrists ache. My feet ache. My belly and back ache. Despite all that, I'm still not ready to be done. I mean I am, but I'm not. I'm going to miss being pregnant. I'm going to miss feeling her move inside me. I'm going to miss having her all to myself.
With that said.....
I can't wait to meet her! I can't wait to smell that intoxicating baby smell on her head. I can't wait to look into her eyes and tell her that I'm her mommy. I can't wait to ignore my messy house because I'm too busy snuggling with my baby girl. I can't wait to see Mike melt into an absolute puddle when he meets his daughter for the first time. I can't wait to nurse her and gaze into her eyes--I think knowing that I'm giving her all the nourishment she needs is going to be one of the most empowering things I'll ever feel. I still can't believe that after 4.5 years of waiting, we are going to meet our daughter this month!
During this pregnancy I have been doing a lot to prepare for her arrival. Besides the obvious shopping for clothes, cloth diapers, baby gear, etc. I have been doing some other things to prepare both physically and mentally. I thought I'd share these things for anyone else who may be interested too.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
By far my FAVORITE book that I've read on birth. Birth is not to be feared. Birth is natural. Birth is not a medical condition that needs to be treated. (Unless you're high risk and have medical issues that need to be treated, obviously.) Am I nervous for the pain of childbirth? Yes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. However, I know my body was designed to do this and I welcome the natural process. Honestly, the pain and recovery from a c-section scares me more. I remember how awful I felt after my laparoscopy last summer and I remember saying to Mike, "I can't even imagine feeling this way and having to care for a newborn." Even if you're the type of person who wants nothing to do with a midwife or wants an epidural as soon as she gets to the hospital, I still highly suggest you read this book. Did you know that the average American spends more time researching cars or a new computer than they spend on researching childbirth? It's crazy! Like infertility and IVF, I couldn't imagine going into this with no knowledge. It just blows my mind how blindly some people can follow their doctors. If I did that I would probably still be in the shitty clinic on post, trying like hell to get pregnant instead of anticipating the birth of my baby girl but I digress. Some of it is a little hippy-dippy but it has so much great information and some really wonderful birth stories.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
I loved this book so much I read it twice! This book far exceeded any other book I read about breastfeeding. It was incredibly informative and got me totally pumped to nurse my baby girl!. I wish every woman who says, "I am going to try to breastfeed...." would read this! I have no doubts that I can and will breastfeed my daughter. It may come with some issues but I now know who to see if I need help and Mike knows that his role in supporting me in my endeavors is just as important as my role as a nursing mom. I read other books about breastfeeding too and this was by far my favorite.
Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds
This book was great! While I already knew about things like c-section statistics, interventions, rooming in, etc. It helped me be more prepared to advocate for myself and our wishes in a hospital setting. I'm not too worried about getting pushed around by doctors or nurses, mostly because I've heard nothing but great things about my hospital being very supportive of natural birth moms, but also because I know Mike won't allow it. He is not to to allow others bully him and he will definitely speak up for us when I can't. Also, I'll have my doula there!
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
I've been trying to drink at least one cup a day since a couple weeks after I hit my second trimester. Contrary to popular belief, this does not induce labor. It is a uterine toner and can help make contractions during labor more efficient and help prevent postpartum hemorrhaging. It also helps with fertility and menstrual cramps. Luckily, I'm a big tea drinker so I don't mind the taste though a lot of people say it's too bland for them. It's very refreshing iced as well! For more on the benefits of drinking RRL tea check out this article. You can find RRL tea at Super.Supplements or in a Natural Foods section of your grocery store. Am.azon sells it for a good deal too!
Evening Primrose Oil
Again, contrary to popular belief this does not directly induce labor. Evening Primrose Oil contains an essential fatty acid that is converted into a prostaglandin by our bodies, which is what softens our cervix during pregnancy and labor. Semen also contains naturally prostaglandins and can help your cervix ripen. However, sex can be quite uncomfortable and difficult at this point in pregnancy so needless to say I figured the EPO wouldn't hurt as well. At my 37 week appointment my midwife gave me the green light to start using EPO to help prepare my cervix for birth. I insert two gel caps into my vagina every night before bed (make sure to use a pad or pantyliner as this can get messy!) Starting next week I will up the dosage to 3. The gel caps are dissolved by morning and hopefully the EPO is doing it's thing overnight! It does not work right away, of course. It takes a few weeks to ripen and soften the cervix. I could have started it at 36 weeks but I didn't have an appointment then and I wanted to talk with my midwife to make sure it was okay to start it. It's always a good idea to talk to your care provider before starting any kind of herbal or medicinal regiment.
Big Bouncy Ball
I wish I would have bought one ages ago! This is the only thing that brings me instant relief for back pain. I bounce on it whenever my back feels tight and try to spend at least an hour a day on it. I sit on while I'm watching the Olympics and pretend I'm a lot more than just a huge pregnant lady bouncing on a ball. Sitting on the ball is *almost* as good as the squatting position but much, much easier. Have you ever tried to squat when you're 40 pounds heavier and your center of gravity is totally off? It's not pretty. This position opens the pelvis and helps baby get in prime position for birth! It also feels really, really good on my back and hips. And your animals look at you like you're crazy:
Walking
I always said that I wasn't going to be lazy during pregnancy and except for those first few months where I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING--I've been pretty good about staying somewhat active. Plus those first few months were winter in the Pacific NW aka cold and rainy season--so I had an excuse, right? ;) Now that my swelling is gone for the most part, I have been going on walks with Mike when he gets home from work. Thankfully it doesn't take too much pleading on my part to get him to go with me because he knows it's good for me and the baby (and the doggies!) We don't go far, mostly because my back gets really tight and painful, but we try to do at least a mile. Most days we do about 1.25-1.5 miles, which seems amazingly far when you are waddling the entire way. I get a lot of stares from people passing by. Haha. I normally feel some cervical pressure by the end of the walk so I hope it's doing something to help the progress along.
I know I've already said this but we're having a baby this month! Only 16 days until my due date but I won't be surprised if I go post date. I hope that doesn't happen since we're moving so soon but if it comes to that Mike and I have decided to wait until 40 weeks to talk about eviction. Mike and I both guessed that she'll make her arrival on the 14th so I guess we'll see! Have you put in your guess yet?
Oh and I had to share this funny picture! Mike and I went up to Seattle last weekend to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law one last time before the babies start arriving. My SIL now has over 14 pounds of babies in her! She's due August 19 and so far they've shown no signs of coming any time soon. I know she's as ready to meet her babies as I am!
With that said.....
I can't wait to meet her! I can't wait to smell that intoxicating baby smell on her head. I can't wait to look into her eyes and tell her that I'm her mommy. I can't wait to ignore my messy house because I'm too busy snuggling with my baby girl. I can't wait to see Mike melt into an absolute puddle when he meets his daughter for the first time. I can't wait to nurse her and gaze into her eyes--I think knowing that I'm giving her all the nourishment she needs is going to be one of the most empowering things I'll ever feel. I still can't believe that after 4.5 years of waiting, we are going to meet our daughter this month!
During this pregnancy I have been doing a lot to prepare for her arrival. Besides the obvious shopping for clothes, cloth diapers, baby gear, etc. I have been doing some other things to prepare both physically and mentally. I thought I'd share these things for anyone else who may be interested too.
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
By far my FAVORITE book that I've read on birth. Birth is not to be feared. Birth is natural. Birth is not a medical condition that needs to be treated. (Unless you're high risk and have medical issues that need to be treated, obviously.) Am I nervous for the pain of childbirth? Yes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. However, I know my body was designed to do this and I welcome the natural process. Honestly, the pain and recovery from a c-section scares me more. I remember how awful I felt after my laparoscopy last summer and I remember saying to Mike, "I can't even imagine feeling this way and having to care for a newborn." Even if you're the type of person who wants nothing to do with a midwife or wants an epidural as soon as she gets to the hospital, I still highly suggest you read this book. Did you know that the average American spends more time researching cars or a new computer than they spend on researching childbirth? It's crazy! Like infertility and IVF, I couldn't imagine going into this with no knowledge. It just blows my mind how blindly some people can follow their doctors. If I did that I would probably still be in the shitty clinic on post, trying like hell to get pregnant instead of anticipating the birth of my baby girl but I digress. Some of it is a little hippy-dippy but it has so much great information and some really wonderful birth stories.
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
I loved this book so much I read it twice! This book far exceeded any other book I read about breastfeeding. It was incredibly informative and got me totally pumped to nurse my baby girl!. I wish every woman who says, "I am going to try to breastfeed...." would read this! I have no doubts that I can and will breastfeed my daughter. It may come with some issues but I now know who to see if I need help and Mike knows that his role in supporting me in my endeavors is just as important as my role as a nursing mom. I read other books about breastfeeding too and this was by far my favorite.
This book was great! While I already knew about things like c-section statistics, interventions, rooming in, etc. It helped me be more prepared to advocate for myself and our wishes in a hospital setting. I'm not too worried about getting pushed around by doctors or nurses, mostly because I've heard nothing but great things about my hospital being very supportive of natural birth moms, but also because I know Mike won't allow it. He is not to to allow others bully him and he will definitely speak up for us when I can't. Also, I'll have my doula there!
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
I've been trying to drink at least one cup a day since a couple weeks after I hit my second trimester. Contrary to popular belief, this does not induce labor. It is a uterine toner and can help make contractions during labor more efficient and help prevent postpartum hemorrhaging. It also helps with fertility and menstrual cramps. Luckily, I'm a big tea drinker so I don't mind the taste though a lot of people say it's too bland for them. It's very refreshing iced as well! For more on the benefits of drinking RRL tea check out this article. You can find RRL tea at Super.Supplements or in a Natural Foods section of your grocery store. Am.azon sells it for a good deal too!
Evening Primrose Oil
Again, contrary to popular belief this does not directly induce labor. Evening Primrose Oil contains an essential fatty acid that is converted into a prostaglandin by our bodies, which is what softens our cervix during pregnancy and labor. Semen also contains naturally prostaglandins and can help your cervix ripen. However, sex can be quite uncomfortable and difficult at this point in pregnancy so needless to say I figured the EPO wouldn't hurt as well. At my 37 week appointment my midwife gave me the green light to start using EPO to help prepare my cervix for birth. I insert two gel caps into my vagina every night before bed (make sure to use a pad or pantyliner as this can get messy!) Starting next week I will up the dosage to 3. The gel caps are dissolved by morning and hopefully the EPO is doing it's thing overnight! It does not work right away, of course. It takes a few weeks to ripen and soften the cervix. I could have started it at 36 weeks but I didn't have an appointment then and I wanted to talk with my midwife to make sure it was okay to start it. It's always a good idea to talk to your care provider before starting any kind of herbal or medicinal regiment.
Big Bouncy Ball
I wish I would have bought one ages ago! This is the only thing that brings me instant relief for back pain. I bounce on it whenever my back feels tight and try to spend at least an hour a day on it. I sit on while I'm watching the Olympics and pretend I'm a lot more than just a huge pregnant lady bouncing on a ball. Sitting on the ball is *almost* as good as the squatting position but much, much easier. Have you ever tried to squat when you're 40 pounds heavier and your center of gravity is totally off? It's not pretty. This position opens the pelvis and helps baby get in prime position for birth! It also feels really, really good on my back and hips. And your animals look at you like you're crazy:
 | ||
Bailey wondering what I'm doing.
|
Walking
I always said that I wasn't going to be lazy during pregnancy and except for those first few months where I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING--I've been pretty good about staying somewhat active. Plus those first few months were winter in the Pacific NW aka cold and rainy season--so I had an excuse, right? ;) Now that my swelling is gone for the most part, I have been going on walks with Mike when he gets home from work. Thankfully it doesn't take too much pleading on my part to get him to go with me because he knows it's good for me and the baby (and the doggies!) We don't go far, mostly because my back gets really tight and painful, but we try to do at least a mile. Most days we do about 1.25-1.5 miles, which seems amazingly far when you are waddling the entire way. I get a lot of stares from people passing by. Haha. I normally feel some cervical pressure by the end of the walk so I hope it's doing something to help the progress along.
I know I've already said this but we're having a baby this month! Only 16 days until my due date but I won't be surprised if I go post date. I hope that doesn't happen since we're moving so soon but if it comes to that Mike and I have decided to wait until 40 weeks to talk about eviction. Mike and I both guessed that she'll make her arrival on the 14th so I guess we'll see! Have you put in your guess yet?
Oh and I had to share this funny picture! Mike and I went up to Seattle last weekend to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law one last time before the babies start arriving. My SIL now has over 14 pounds of babies in her! She's due August 19 and so far they've shown no signs of coming any time soon. I know she's as ready to meet her babies as I am!
 |
| Mike's magical floating head |
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