Breastfeeding Guest Post: Part 1

When I was 14  became an aunt for the first time. I can still remember walking into my sister's room and seeing her breastfeeding my niece, Gabrielle, and thinking, "Gross! That's so weird."  Luckily, I've matured since then and now see breastfeeding as a beautiful act of love between a mother and her child. When I found out I was pregnant I immediately started researching breastfeeding in the hopes that it would help me be more successful at it when the time comes.  In my research I've discovered that it really doesn't come 'naturally' to some people, that there is a lot of misinformation surrounding breastfeeding and that there is a LOT of (ridiculous) stigma surrounding breastfeeding, particularly nursing in public. My good friend had a baby boy six weeks ago and has been a breastfeeding champ so I'm constantly asking her questions and tucking her firsthand knowledge in the back of my mind for the future. I thought I'd do a Q&A with her and share on my blog--I hope it helps some other women who are currently in the midst of deciding between breast and bottle. Some of the questions are my own and others are questions pertaining to issues I've seen discussed on various forums or amongst women I've known.  I'm going to do this in a few different parts because it is quite lengthy. If anyone has any other questions please let me know and I will pass them along to Allie. She's become quite impassioned about breastfeeding and is more than willing to help out other moms and encourage them on their breastfeeding journey. So, here goes......

Why did you want to breastfeed?    

Originally, my plan to breastfeed was because we started trying the month I turned 22 years old and we wanted to save money.  Breastfeeding is relatively free compared to formula feeding and my husband and I had planned for me to stay at home with the children and saving money where ever we could would be helpful to make that happen as stress free as possible.

It wasn't until I started frequenting online forums that I came across the notion that breastfeeding doesn't work for everybody. I had absolutely no knowledge of the specifics of how it worked, except a basic understanding that I had nipples and breasts for a purpose.  I started to see that there were a lot of moms of all ages that had personal issues about breastfeeding, whether they were skeeved out by it or they felt guilty that they didn't want to do it or that they were absolutely determined and then had bumps in the road that they didn't foresee or they literally couldn't physically do it.  I guess that is true with any online community, since there is a concentrated amount of women in one place, you begin to think that issues are more common than they really are or you are suddenly exposed to issues that are common that you had not previously been exposed to.

After 6 months of trying to conceive, I began to have bleeding problems and we knew that we were encountering fertility issues. All thoughts of breastfeeding really went on the back burner.  While most people during their trying to get pregnant journeys research all of the parenting aspects that they think they will pursue, parenting in general became way too painful of a topic for me.

After the one year mark of trying to conceive and officially crossing over into the Infertility side, I met one of my cousin's girlfriend's friend's wife.  (Did you follow that?)  We were decorating Christmas cookies and this girl had brought over her brand new baby and she was breastfeeding him at the table while we were decorating cookies and she had him in a sling.  She was the most peaceful and content looking mom I had ever seen or experienced and I was intrigued.  I began to spend more time with Miranda over the next year that we lived in Wisconsin and I just watched and absorbed her nursing her son.  It was always so peaceful and her baby always seemed happy and she was always holding him in the most loving way and I had just never experienced or noticed such a thing before.  I had never seen a mom so peacefully in love with their child... it's so hard to explain what watching this relationship between Miranda and Keegan did inside my heart.   Infertility was the hardest thing I have ever gone through and watching moms with their children broke my heart, but watching the peaceful way Miranda loved on her baby boy was sort of a balm on my broken heart.  I loved being around them and even though I hardly got to hold Keegan because Miranda always held him, I loved witnessing such a beautiful thing in their nursing relationship.

The image of Keegan and Miranda stuck with me the next three years of trying to conceive.  After 2 years of trying to conceive, we began to think about infant adoption and then after 3 years, we went to a seminar.  While we discovered that it was not for us at that time, I had begun to research induced lactation with an adopted child.  I read a little bit about it and I had seen the bond that Miranda had with Keegan and I thought that breastfeeding would increase my bond with my child.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I began to research breastfeeding and child birth more.  Of course, I asked my source, Miranda, for her advice on a book to get me started and she steered me towards La Leche League's The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.  I bought the most current version on Amazon and devoured it as soon as it came in the mail.  I marked up the margins and underlined and starred so many passages.  I felt so empowered after reading that book and also found myself suddenly much more educated on natural child birth.  I also read The Nursing Mother's Companion and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding.  I learned so much about how breastmilk was produced, how the baby's bodies were designed to eat breastmilk starting with colostrum, I learned all that I could and soaked it up like a sponge.  I had no idea until I started reading about it that there were countless health benefits for both me and the baby... I thought I was just being frugal by wanting to breastfeed... and then later, I witnessed the emotional connection.  Now I was learning about the physiological workings inside my body and inside my baby's body and how breastfeeding worked exactly and what kinds of effects that would have on my mental health and my physical health and my baby's physical and mental health.  I felt 100% determined to make it work, no matter what the cost at this point.

When I started educating myself about the miracles and wonders of breastfeeding, I educated Jack as well.  When we had learned all that we could, after reading countless online resources and as many breastfeeding articles as I could and the books, my husband and I had come to one undeniable conclusion... How could I NOT breastfeed?

• were you exposed to breastfeeding as a child? Was it the 'norm' in your family culture?

 I was not exposed to breastfeeding as a child that I can remember.  My youngest cousin that lived close to me just turned 21, and since I'm 26, I don't have too many memories of them as babies.  When I started babysitting around 13, I babysat with my best friend and we babysat her twin brothers. (Who just turned 13 on March 29th!)  They were formula fed and I remember the bottles being made.  When I was 16, my friend had a baby and she formula fed him.  I don't necessarily know if it was the norm in my family, but I was too young to know whether or not my mom breastfed my younger brother who is 2 years younger than me (she didn't) or if my cousins were breastfed at all.

• what did you do to prepare for breastfeeding? 

I read 3 books on breastfeeding and read as many articles online as I could.  I also chatted with women online who chose to breastfeed and who chose not to breastfeed.  

• Does it really come naturally? 

 Yes and no.  Yes in that you know where the milk comes out of.  You know generally that it's supposed to work and that your baby's mouth goes on your nipple (areola) and they suck.  But no, in that I didn't know anywhere close to all of the mechanics of it.  Why it works and how it works and what the baby needs and how the baby gets what it needs and all of that.  I learned all of that by researching and reading.  I also needed the help of a lactation consultant at the hospital and a very well versed and experienced nurse at the hospital before we were discharged and I picked a very very pro breastfeeding pediatrician who breastfed her own babies and who ran their practice with a lactation consultant on staff 5 days a week.  I surrounded myself and set myself up for success with breastfeeding.

To be continued.....