IUI #4

BFN.

I had to hide in my sister's bathroom so I could have a long cry in private. I clearly didn't think about how hard it was going to be to deal with a failed cycle while being around a newborn. This blows.

For now, I'm going to play with Madeline and give Charlotte lots of kisses. In about an hour, my other sister, my brother in law and my oldest niece and nephew will be here. I sincerely hope that I can keep it together and enjoy this weekend with my family.

Mike and I need to have a long talk when we get home (he's in the field while I'm in Ohio). We need to get rid of a few things in our budget to allow us to save more money for IVF. I'm pretty sure we're done with IUIs and I think I am done with treatments for a few months, at least for now. We've been doing testing and treatments for a year straight. I need a break. The holidays are hard enough without all the ultrasounds, appointments and extra emotions that come with fertility meds. To make it worse, we can't afford to fly (and board our zoo) to spend the holidays with family since we have to save for IVF.  I don't know what's next for us but for now we'll be taking a little time off.

Fuck you infertility.