A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a bad baby! Hell, I don't even sleep through the night most times. Kelly Mom has some great information on normal infant sleep patterns.
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/
Dec 12, 2012
Say No to CIO
I just downloaded the sample for my Kindle and I already know it's going to be good. The beginning broke my heart while I read about what babies go through when they're forced to cry it out. SO many people push this "method" of "sleep training" on parents and it's absolutely horrible. I am 100% against crying it out. (An inconsolable screaming baby who is being held is not the same as a baby crying in a room alone.) CIO is cruel and does nothing for your baby except teach them learned helplesness. You know that Ferber guy who everyone raved about awhile back? Yeah, he retracted his statement. That should tell you something.
A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a bad baby! Hell, I don't even sleep through the night most times. Kelly Mom has some great information on normal infant sleep patterns.
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/
A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a bad baby! Hell, I don't even sleep through the night most times. Kelly Mom has some great information on normal infant sleep patterns.
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/
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Woah.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, Ferber does not equal CIO. Second, Ferber just recently updated his book so the statement that he "retracted" is actually untrue. He just edited some of his statements based on new research in the field. Something that is done often in medicine and science.
Have you read Ferber's book? Until you do, to me your ranting and raving against him is incredibly unfair. He does not advocate just leaving a baby to cry. The only sleep expert I have seen even come close to "extinction" methods is Weissbluth - but even he has limits.
Sleep interests me a lot. I have read probably every sleep book out there (from the No Cry Sleep Solution to Health Sleep Habits Happy Baby to *gasp* Ferbers book on Sleep). I agree with you that CIO as is portrayed by uneducated people is not a good thing. But I disagree that ANY mainstream sleep experts who have published books are advocating for that at all. You can't just pick one thing out of a book and say "see! he is evil!" Because frankly, the advice to "let your baby cry until they pass out" isn't in any of the dozen books I have ever read. And every single one of them (aside from "12 Hours in 12 Weeks" which I highly disagree with) talks about the age of the baby and pretty much all of them say AT LEAST 6 months of age to start working on sleep.
I will keep my personal views on sleep short, but I think you need to be a mom a little longer before being Judgy McJudgerson about sleep training. For me, once my children were at an age where I felt comfortable, we did gradual extinction with both feeding and crying. And I can tell you that neither of my kids wailed in their cribs wondering where I was developing anxiety that will last them a lifetime. What they did develop was the ability to fall asleep unassisted which, IMO, is a GIFT to everyone. Them and me.
Please just read Ferber if you want to critique him. Reading anti-Ferber websites doesn't count. Know thy enemy, I suppose. But I would be that you will be surprised at how the hatred from him is usually based on rumor -not fact.
Do I really need to put a disclaimer on my blog saying, "This is my opinion. Take it or leave it?"
DeleteHow long I've been a mom is irrelevant. I know that I will never let Hazel cry for any length of time without offering her comfort, whether that be a cuddle, nursing or whatever. I believe letting a baby, any baby, cry helplessly is doing what's best for the parents and not what's best for the child. That's my opinion. Everyone will parent in the way they feel is best for the children, whether I agree with it or not, and this is how we will parent Hazel.
::thumbs up Megan::
ReplyDeleteIt seems odd to me that it's proven that crying alone in their room will affect your baby's brain and yet people will insist they did it and no damage occurred. It makes me wonder if they also believe that since they can't see it that cigarettes also don't cause harm.
I'm with you! We let the baby cry sometimes and I find it hard. He sometimes wakes up after we out him down to sleep but will often sort himself out. Your blog, your opinion! Who is being judgy now??
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