ICLW

Hello to everyone from ICLW. It's been a LONG time since I participated but I have a very good excuse.

Meet Hazel, our IVF miracle who was born on August 10 after a four year battle with infertility. You can see more of our IF history in the tab up top.

I'm a SAHM to our beautiful little girl and loving every minute of it. We practice attachment parenting and are a co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing family. We are also an Army family and relocated from the Seattle area to SE Alabama (cue banjos) in October. We miss the Pacific Northwest dearly and are hoping to go back there eventually.

We would like more children some day but we aren't quite sure if we want to go down the road  of treatments again. For now, we're just soaking up every moment of baby that we can.

Thanks for stopping by!

Four Months

It's true what they say--days seem to last forever but the months and years fly by. My sweet little Hazel is already four months old. I can hardly believe it. Every day is something new it seems and this past week it's like a light switch has turned on in her head because she has become so interested in everything. She is going through the four month wakeful period. She slept for about 40 minutes total all afternoon and evening on Thursday and was a complete crab by the evening. She loves to look around and investigate everything from the security of the Ergo.  Luckily she's still a great sleeper at night and the space between her feedings are starting to stretch out. We have discovered that she likes to sleep on her tummy. She stays asleep longer this way because she doesn't wake her self up flailing her arms.

couldn't you just eat those thighs up?

 

She smiles all the time. She's such a happy girl! Her new favorite thing to do is to screech. She sounds just like the baby velociraptor on Jurassic Park. She reaches octaves that could rupture ear drums but she's oh so cute when she does it. I've gotten her to belly laugh a couple times and that is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.



She is really warming up to Mike. She has smiles for him when he comes home and on Saturday mornings they hang out while I get to sleep in. A few weekends ago I woke up leaking everywhere because she was content and happily snoozing on her daddy. <3

Breastfeeding is still going amazingly well and Hazel is definitely a booby baby. At this rate I see no reason why we won't make it to at least a year nursing but I will nurse her as long as the both of us are still happy.

We still love cloth diapering. I've had a hard time figuring out good wash routine down here with the water.  We've always used Rockin' Green without issue but it's just not cutting it down here. I ordered some Charlie's yesterday to see how that works.

Hazel is so good at rolling over now. As soon as she's on her back she rolls to her tummy, screeching and grunting all the way. She's getting really good at baby push ups too and she loves to stand up. She smiles so big and we can tell she thinks it's so awesome to stand. We  got  her some toys for Christmas since she is reaching for everything now--last night she grabbed my plate at dinner!

She's in 3-6 month clothes but wearing some 6-9 month things as well, mostly pants since her fluffy butt needs the extra space. We'll find out on Wednesday how much she weighs when er go in for her four month appointment.

Hazel, we love you so much. You make me smile daily more times than I can count. You're developing such a little personality, complete with your own little temper. You're definitely a girl who knows her own mind and I'm having the best time watching you discover the world around you. Thank you for being my sweet baby girl.

The Man With the Bag

Do you participate in the tradition of Santa Claus? Or will you with your kids?

We had Santa in our home when I was growing up. I believed in him for a long time--until I was in fourth grade. I still remember when I found out he wasn't real. I remember being upset but certainly not devastated. Maybe because of my age?

I know he's a Christmas tradition and all but I am truly torn. I just don't want to.be responsible for breaking my little girl's heart when she finds out he's not real.

So....what's your take on the man with the bag?

Don't Be a Sheep

I post about a lot of different things on my blog. Breastfeeding, pregnancy, natural birth, car seat safety, etc. I post about them because I'm passionate about these things and the things I post are my opinions based on my own research. Not everyone will agree with me. I know that I am not a typical mainstream American mom and that's okay.

When I was pregnant I quickly discovered just how many people take there words of their doctors as gold. They become blind followers. "Your baby is too big for you to birth--you need a c-section."  "You're not progressing quickly enough--you need pitocin."  In the IF support group I started I saw so many women  just sit back and let the doctors do what they wanted to do instead of advocating for themselves when they didn't fall pregnant month after month.  We are taught we should trust our doctors afterall, right? My experience with infertility totally changed that for me and I probably wouldn't be a mom today if I had listened to those doctors. 

In my last post I wrote that I feel letting a baby cry it out is cruel and unnecessary. I stand by that. There have been times when I couldn't settle Hazel down. She cried, I cried. In my limited four months of experience, my husband and I have started to discover our parenting philosophy. It will evolve over time, I'm sure. We will catch a lot of flack for it, I'm sure. (You don't have a crib? You wear her like that all the time? You wash POOP in your washing machine? She can't just eat whenever she wants.) It's already started but I have a reason for everything I do, whether it be breastfeeding, co-sleeping or whatever. I'm not doing it just because I saw someone else do it or because some doctor told me to. Hazel's pediatrician actually told me last month that she should be sleeping through the night at around four months and I should start letting her fuss. I just gave her the ole smile and nod . This is what I did whereas other parents may go home and say, "Oh no. Our baby needs to be sleeping through the night. Our doctor says it's okay to let her cry so it must not be bad." And that's that.

Okay, back the point of this entry. Don't be a blind follower, no matter the issue. Do your research, form your opinion and then stand by it. You will be judged. A lot. But as long as you're doing what you feel is best for your family then that's all you can do.

Say No to CIO

I just downloaded the sample for my Kindle and I already know it's going to be good. The beginning broke my heart while I read about what babies go through when they're forced to cry it out. SO many people push this "method" of "sleep training" on parents and it's absolutely horrible. I am 100% against crying it out. (An inconsolable screaming baby who is being held is not the same as a baby crying in a room alone.) CIO is cruel and does nothing for your baby except teach them learned helplesness.  You know that Ferber guy who everyone raved about awhile back? Yeah, he retracted his statement. That should tell you something.

A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a bad baby! Hell, I don't even sleep through the night most times. Kelly Mom has some great information on normal infant sleep patterns.
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

Misfit.

I do not belong in Alabama. (Neither does my husband for that matter but this is my blog so it's all about me, right?) We've been here two months and the only positive thing we've discovered so far is the fact that he will not have to leave me and Hazel any time soon--and in the military that's HUGE. Not only are we in the middle of nowhere, it has been incredibly hard to meet people here.

Before I became a mom I always thought, "Just wait until I have a kid. It will be so much easier to meet people then!" Wrong. Know why? Because Moms are judgey, myself included. It's hard enough finding people you mesh with on a personal level but when you throw parenting into the mix it's a million times harder. The Mommy Wars are hell.

I went to two playgroups this week for kids under one. I was one of two people who showed up on Monday. The other woman and I chatted for a few minutes while waiting to see if anyone else showed up. It was awkward. I am not good at chit chat and never have been. I got asked if Hazel was sleeping through the night yet and a very surprised look when I said she wasn't. Why is it a surprise that my three month old, exclusively breastfed baby still eats a few times a night? I don't mind it at all. We hung out for about 15 minutes and decided to leave when no one else showed up. Playgroup fail.

Today I went to another playgroup. I was a little more hopeful about this one because the moms who said they were going were from the Crunchy Moms group here. (Only a little more hopeful because the Crunchy Moms group here kind of sucks compared to the one at our old duty station. They don't get together or chit chat. I was actually scolded for trying to post off topic things in the group when I first moved here. I wasn't trying to cause problems, I just wanted to talk to and meet up with some other like minded mamas.)


I should have known I would be uncomfortable as soon as I pulled up and saw the Gadsden Flag flying. I was the only newbie there and the other ladies talked as if I wasn't there. The hostess handed out invites to her kid's first birthday party to everyone but me. I get it--I'm the new person. She didn't have to invite me but did she really need to do that then and there to make me feel even more excluded? All their husbands are flight school students and we were talking about their choices in duty stations. I started talking about Lewis and how much I liked it there. They all agreed it would be a nice place to be stationed were it not for all those, "Obama lovers..." I kept my mouth shut. Sigh. I really hope we meet some nice people here or it's going to be an even longer two years....

That's it for now. I have a crabby baby who got two vaccines today. One of these days I'll be sure to blog about our Alternate Vaccine Schedule and why we decided to go that route. 


P.S. Despite the beautiful baby in my arms, I'm afraid I will always be the bitter infertile. Hearing other women talk about their incredible fertility and the ease in which they got pregnant still makes me twitchy.

Happy St. Nicholas Day #2

Happy St. Nicholas Day to all my readers! I've been looking forward to this day for awhile. One year ago today I found out that our IVF had worked and I had a baby growing in my tummy. We were so shocked. We were overjoyed. When Mike went to work I was scared to move off our bed for fear of doing something to make it all go away. Those early days of pregnancy were so incredibly surreal. I just didn't believe that it was finally happening to me. I remember going into the Maternity section at Target and feeling uncomfortable (I think I compared it to Mor.dor) 

I can hardly believe that in one year we went from here:

to here:

Each one of Hazel's smiles and cuddles make every single injection and procedure worth it. I would do it all 10,000 more times if it meant having this sweet baby girl in our lives.