31 Weeks!

How big is baby?

Symptoms: Swelling in my hands, ankles and feet. Stretch marks on my butt, hips and breasts. Sore feet and knees. Just starting to get achey. Constant fatigue. I think I'm starting to waddle too...
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +31
Maternity Clothes: Yup.
Sleep: Amazingly well considering how long it takes me to turn over.
Best Moment This Week: When my midwife helped me figure out what parts of the baby I'm feeling. What I thought was a  head is actually a butt and baby is head down!
Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: All the time. Nothing like getting jabbed in the ribs when you're just about asleep!
Food Cravings: No cravings really but I am still easily influenced. When I was getting a pedicure yesterday a girl next to me had a Dominos pasta bowl. I HAD to have one after that.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? It seems to have gone missing. It's totally flat now and when I exhale it turns into an outie.
What I miss: Having energy.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting her for the first time.
Next Appointment: 29 June
Milestones: Baby's head down! I also finished the nursery as much as I'm going to since we're moving. Pictures to follow....

Daughters Need Fathers, Too

This article really touched my heart. I wish I had a stronger relationship with my own dad but he's a lot older and not really the type of man to pursue this kind of relationship with his kids, let alone daughters. He's a straight-laced military man and even now our conversations revolved around the weather, sports, Mike/Army and hunting fishing--you know, guy stuff.  I know in my heart that Mike is going to be fantastic dad and strive to be the kind of male role model that his daughter needs.

Daughters Need Fathers, Too

By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

 
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
~ “Daughters,” by John Mayer
We hear a lot about the importance of male role models in a boy’s life. It is indeed important. But what’s often missing from the conversation is the importance of fathers in a daughter’s life as well. As we come up on the annual celebration of fathers in America, let’s consider the psychology of father-daughter relationships.
Children really do learn what they live. Not having the perspective of older people, they consider whatever their family is like as their “normal.” From infancy, girls draw conclusions about what men are like from the men in their life. If there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men and what to expect of men’s attitude toward women. His relationship to her mother or his significant other is her template for what her relationship with a man will be when she grows up.
Those early learnings are powerful. Regardless of what happens as a teen and adult, a girl who identifies her gender as female has already created a set of assumptions of what that means for her to be a woman by the time she is 4 or 5 years old. At each stage of her development, she is watching and learning from the women — and men — around her to figure out how to be successful as a woman and how to be in a relationship with a man. When that learning is positive and helpful for negotiating the world, a daughter will grow up to be at ease in her own skin and in her sexuality. When it is conflicted or creates expectations that are demeaning or less than useful for cooperating with others, her relationship with herself, with other women, and with men will be troubled.
What all this means for a father or father figure is that he counts. He counts a lot. Regardless of whether he wants the responsibility, a father’s relationship to the world and to women sets down a template that will be played out for another generation. Men who take their job as a father of a daughter seriously are men who know the importance of the following 10 basic principles:

1. Love her mother. Theodore M. Hesburgh, a former president of Notre Dame University, is quoted as saying that this is the most important thing a man can do. It’s true. To Hesburgh’s idea, I would add this: If you can’t love her mother, find something to respect and admire in her anyway. With a high divorce rate and equally high never-married-parent rate, it’s important to acknowledge that not all parents are bound by love. But however a father feels emotionally about a girl’s mom, it is in his and the child’s best interests for him to treat the mother with respect and consideration, no matter what. Even if the mother doesn’t return the favor, he can live an honorable life that shows his daughters that a man takes the high road when it comes to his respect for women and his responsibilities to his children.2. Attach to your daughters. Let them attach to you. Girls with a solid sense of self are often their daddy’s buddy at least for awhile when growing up. Spend regular quality time with her. Don’t be afraid to take her out for a hike or for a game of catch or a round of the basketball game Horse (or Pig, or whatever variant you play). Girls are just as likely to like to do such things with their dad as a boy is. Let her know you love her with the words and hugs that are appropriate for her age. Whatever your relationship with her mother, your relationship with your daughter is critically important.
3. Attach with safety. In America, national surveys of adults find that nine to 28 percent of women say they experienced some type of sexual abuse or assault in childhood. The best preventative measure is to teach your daughter about privacy, modesty, and appropriate boundaries. Fathers model where the lines are between appropriate affection and inappropriate touch.
4. Celebrate her mind. Read to your little girl. Be interested in what she is learning in school. Pay attention to her interests and be honestly curious to learn what she knows about them. Share interesting things about your work and your hobbies. Research shows that the most successful women have generally had fathers who were interested in their intellect and their academics.
5. Go to her events. You may find you have real interest in girls’ basketball or musical theatre when it’s your daughter on the team or in the show. If you don’t, give yourself a pep talk and go anyway. She needs you there as a witness to her talents, her efforts, and her achievements.
6. Tell her she’s pretty. Admire her style. We live in a culture where girls are often insecure about their looks. A dad’s compliments for how she moves on a sports field, dresses for school, or combs her hair aren’t sexist when they’re sincere and not sexual. (A dad would – and should – do the same for his son.) Genuine statements of approval are one of the building blocks of her self-esteem.
7. Show her that real men can negotiate differences with women. When you and your significant other or a female relative disagrees, or if you disagree with her, let your daughter see you work through the conflict in a calm and reasonable way. She is less likely to fall for a bully if she knows that men and women can deal with differences respectfully.
8. Treat all adult women the way you want your daughter to be treated someday. Take care with what you say about women you work with, the women in your family, and even the woman driving the car in the next lane. Don’t indulge in mother-in-law or other sexist jokes. Your daughter is listening. Your attitude about women is part of the attitude she is developing about herself.
9. Treat her the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.
10. Be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry. Make no mistake; you are the model for manhood your daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date. If you want her to find a man who is faithful to his partner, who is honest and hardworking, who knows how to have fun, who uses money wisely and who doesn’t abuse people, drugs, or alcohol, then you need to be that kind of man. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works. Your daughter will believe what you do far more than what you say.

30 Weeks

How big is baby?

Symptoms:Swollen ankles at the end of the day. Peeing all.the.time. Constant hunger. Tired all the time!
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +29 as of my last appointment.
Maternity Clothes: Yup.
Sleep: Pretty well most nights. Every now and then I will get a bout of insomnia but I can't complain too much.
Best Moment This Week: Watching Mike re-enlist and finding out that our family will be moving to Fort Rucker in October. I can not wait to take our little one to sandy white beaches!
Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Constantly. I can watch my belly wiggle like crazy. Sometimes I just want her to settle down because it makes it hard to relax.
Food Cravings: Nothing specific but everything tastes so good.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? It seems to have gone missing. It's totally flat now and when I exhale it turns into an outie.
What I miss: Being able to move the way I want to.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting her for the first time.
Next Appointment: 15 June.
Milestones: Do rib jabs count? OUCH!


Look how fast she's growing now!!!

Re-Enlistment and a Cross Country Move, Oh My!

Today Mike re-enlisted for three more years of service to his country--I'm so proud of him! His Commander had nothing but great things to say about Mike and encouraged other NCOs to emulate him. Mike hated every minute of it--haha.

One of the things that comes with this re-enlistment is a PCS (Permanent Change of Station for you civilian folks) to Fort Rucker! That's right, we're moving! For real this time. A slot was created just for Mike down there and we will be heading down south in late September--with a brand new baby! We're going car shopping this weekend for a larger vehicle that will accommodate the baby, Mike, myself and our four fur kids. We plan to ship Mike's Mustang so that we can all travel in one car; I think that will just be so much easier with the baby. His report date is 10 October so we expect to leave here sometime in the last week of September. So yeah, the beautiful nursery we painted? She'll never sleep in it. Oh well, we'll just have to paint it the exact same color once we get down there.

A cross country move with a six (?) week old, two kitties, a 65 pound "lap dog" and an 80 pound crabby lab/husky...oh and a husband, of course!  Better start praying for me now. :)

Shit Crunchy Dads Say

Hahahaha! I LOVED this. Mike's already been caught saying some of these things and I know for a fact he's been talking to some of his guys (expectant fathers) about the benefits of choosing a midwife over an OB.

Shopping With Baby

Thanks to Treading Raging Waters for this fantastic post on the reasons you shouldn't put your baby's car seat on top of a shopping cart (she's also full of a ton of wonderful car seat safety knowledge--check it out!) I'm always so nervous when I see a babe precariously teetering on top of a cart--it just looks like an accident waiting to happen. I wonder how many people actually know that their car seat manuals say not to do this?



Meet Bob.

Bob is a shopping cart that LOVES to help out with your trip to the grocery store.  See how happy it makes him??

The only things Bob loves more than shopping...are BABIES!!

Bob is super excited to help this family get groceries...but wait, what is this...??  Bob is not happy...

You see, Bob took a class on car seat safety.  He knows that putting an infant carrier on the top of shopping cart can be very VERY dangerous.

Bob has heard every excuse in the book as to why people put their infant carriers in the top of the shopping cart, even when they have been told time and time again that it was unsafe.

Bob also knows that anecdotal evidence doesn't get you very far in life.  Just because somewhere down the line, somebody survived this

it doesn't make their choices any less idiotic and it DOES NOT mean that it's a good idea for you to do it as well.

So...without further ado, let's go over some reasons why putting a carrier in the top of a cart is not a safe choice.

Reason #1

Strollers and infant car seat bases are made so that when they are holding a car seat, the recline angle is between 30 and 45 degrees so that the baby gets an adequate flow of oxygen.

(Humor me/use your imagination, do whatever it takes to pretend this looks like a car seat)

However, if I had a dime for how many times I was walking through the grocery store and saw this...

well, I'd have a lot of dimes.  When the carrier is not at a correct recline angle, the baby's oxygen can be cut off if they are in the carrier for a prolonged period.

**DISCLAIMER** If you don't see anything wrong with the above picture, stop what you are doing, go sit on the couch, prop your legs up on the back cushions and lean back to watch tv for the next hour...then come back and let me know how you feel and how easy it was for you to breathe.

Reason #2 

 Having an infant seat on the top of the cart makes it top heavy. Something as simple as rounding a corner too quickly can flip the entire shopping cart over.

Reason #3

While it's already hard to see what is in front of you when you are pushing a shopping cart, adding an infant car seat that sticks up an extra 12+ inches makes it impossible.  You never know what you'll run into or run over when your view is obstructed.

You did it now...you killed Kenny. (while I have never seen South park myself, it was re-enacted one too many times in middle school so it is now permanently etched in my head)

 Reason #4

Even if your car seat appears to click (because I hear that all the time... "well mine fits, it even latches on"), it was not made to be up there, it was only made to "click" onto a stroller or car seat base. A small jolt is sometimes enough to un-latch it from the cart and have the entire carrier flip over onto the floor in a matter of seconds.  See a real example here.

Reason #5

Since it was NOT made to fit on a cart, trying to get it to latch on anyway could damage the mechanism that makes it attach to your car seat base. You won't notice that it is defective it until you are flying down the highway and get into a wreck and your child's seat is ejected through the front windshield. However, by then it will be too late.

(pretty self explanatory, I'll spare you yet another of my beautiful drawings)

Reason #6

.Every car seat manufacturer specifically says NOT to do it, so why not listen?

So...let's recap.

Regardless of who has done it and who's kids "were fine," when they did it, doesn't mean it's safe.  That's skewed logic.

You could potentially be setting up your child to have a difficult time breathing during your trip to the grocery store.

Your cart becomes top heavy, it could flip! 

A car seat never actually latches on to a cart.

You could damage the latching mechanism and not find out until the seat doesn't perform in crash.

All car seat manufacturers warn against it.

So...what are your other options?

Put your baby's car seat IN THE CART, not ON IT. This is a sure fire way to make Bob super happy!

OR (my personal favorite)

You can always wear your baby!

28/29 Weeks Bumpdate

We were camping last Friday-Monday so I didn't have a chance to do my 28 week bumpdate. Not much has changed in the last week though.

How big is baby?

Symptoms:Starting to feel aches and pains. Swollen ankles at the end of the day. Peeing all.the.time. Constant hunger. Stretch marks on my breasts and I wear out really quickly now.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I'm up 29 total now though my midwife commented that she didn't know where I was hiding it since I'm tiny. Guess being tall is a good thing!
Maternity Clothes: Yup.
Sleep: I'm still sleeping pretty well, even if I am getting up at least 3-4 times to pee.
Best Moment This Week: Feeling hiccups for the first time while I was resting in the tent on our camping trip.
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots. I'm feeling loads of bulges--like her butt or head.
Food Cravings: Still love my pancakes!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? It's so shallow that it's barely there anymore.
What I miss: Beer and being able to put my shoes on without feeling like I'm going to squish her right out of me.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting her for the first time. I'm not ready for her to come out yet but I'm starting to get very anxious to meet her!
Next Appointment: 15 June.
Milestones: Feeling hiccups for the first time. Narrowing down our name choices. <3