Breasfeeding a Newborn

If you can't tell yet, I've been reading a lot of things about breastfeeding in the hopes that I'm setting myself up for sucess. I came across this article on The Leaky Boob a few days ago and it was one of the best things I've read so far. I was almost tearing up, thinking about the anticipation of breastfeeding my precious baby girl. For those of you who are pregnant and planning to breastfeed, please let me know how this article affected you!

http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

Baby Explains- Normal Newborn Behavior

August 18, 2011 By theleakyb@@b 154 Comments

By Diana Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC 


Dear Mommy,
Thank you so much for breastfeeding me!  You probably already know that your milk is designed especially for me, and is better than anything else you could feed me.
I know that right now, you feel like your friends who aren’t breastfeeding their babies seem to have an easier time of things.  Those other babies sleep soundly and longer between feedings, they drink so much, and they don’t fuss to eat all the time like I do!  I can tell you’re getting a little bit frustrated, and I hear all the advice you’re getting … my grandma says you weren’t breastfed and you turned out just fine, my daddy says he feels like he can’t do anything to soothe me, and that lady with the cold hands that you call “doctor” gave you a can of something that she says will help me grow faster.  You’re tired and frustrated because taking care of me just seems too hard, but please mommy, before you give up this yummy breastfeeding thing, let me explain some of my behavior to you.  It might help you feel better.

First, if you and I were separated after I was born, for any reason (maybe it was hospital protocol that I be left under a warmer, maybe you were recovering from surgery), I’ve got some catching up to do, because I probably lost more weight than my friends who got to stay close to their mommies.  It’s OK … I’m really good at letting you know when I need some more calories, but it’s important that you let me breastfeed lots and lots, even if my grandma says “he just ate!!”  In my first few days, the nurses at the hospital might tell you I’m hungry and your body can’t make enough milk for me … but mommy, that colostrum from your breasts is some awesome stuff!  It’s packed with protein, which binds to any bilirubin in my body (elevated bilirubin causes jaundice in more than half of newborns) so I can poop it on out.  It’s also a great laxative, which makes it easy for me to get all that black, tarry meconium out of me and we can move on to the seedy, yellow-brown poops that are much easier to clean off my sweet tushie.  Now, the colostrum is really thick and sticky, and I’m so small and still figuring out how to move my tongue, and we’re both still trying to get comfortable together, so it might take me 20 minutes or longer to suck out just ONE TEASPOON (5-7 mL) of that liquid gold.
But it’s OK, mommy!  You know, there is really nowhere I’d rather be than in your arms, hearing your sweet voice and smelling you  — even though you haven’t had a shower since before I was born, you’re just delicious to me.  And something else you should know about me … even though I have a really cute “Buddha belly” that looks all chubby, the capacity of my stomach on the day I’m born is just 5-7 milliliters – that’s the size of a small marble!  You’re the smartest woman in my whole world, so I know you see the connection here!  The amount of colostrum in your breast is exactly the capacity of my tummy!  My stomach walls on my first day of life are very rigid and won’t stretch; this is why, if anyone tries to feed me with a bottle, I’m going to spit most of it back up again, even though I eagerly suck at it.  See, mommy, I only have two ways to send and receive information from my brand-new world – I can cry, and I can suck.  I can’t see much, and all these sounds are so much louder than when I was inside you, and I can use my hands to help me orient myself on your breast, but crying and sucking are pretty much how I make sense of everything.

From the Heart Photography - Tiffany Hileman

I know it seems really confusing, mommy, that I would want to suck and suck and suck even though my tummy is full.  When I suck, lots of great things happen for both of us.  I keep my own digestion moving by triggering the involuntary digestive muscles in peristalsis – moving the contents of my stomach along because I’m still moving my mouth and tongue, which are the beginning of my digestive tract.  When you let me do all this suckling at your breast, I can very easily regulate how I suck, depending on why I’m sucking at any given moment.  You can probably feel when I’m suckling nutritively and swallowing lots of milk, and when I’m kind of relaxed about it, feeding sort of like I’m savoring a bowl of ice cream … you know how sometimes, you scrape just a tiny bit onto your spoon, because you want it to last a long time?  To me, you’re better than ice cream!  But on a bottle, it’s impossible for me to suck and not get whatever’s in there, and that’s confusing to me, so I might keep sucking because that’s what my instinct is telling me to do, or I might realize my tummy hurts (because even on day 10, my stomach capacity is only a ping pong ball) and I’ll cry and cry because all I really know is crying and sucking!


A word about these instincts I feel … I really can’t help it, mommy, that I want to suckle so much.  It’s just how I came out, and there doesn’t seem to be much that I can do about it.  Please believe me, I’m not trying to trick you!  In a few weeks, this need lets up a tiny bit, but for now, suckling is my M.O.  But, do you want to know something really cool?  I’m not the only one who benefits!  When I suckle at your breast in these early days, your body actually activates prolactin receptors!  Isn’t that amazing?  In my first two weeks, the higher I make your prolactin levels go (my suckling triggers a prolactin surge in your body), the more of these receptors get activated in your breasts, and the higher your potential milk production will be for as long as you choose to breastfeed me.  That’s one reason your lactation consultant tells you to wait on introducing that bottle or that binky– this prolactin receptor thing only happens for the first 10-14 days.  After that, the prolatcin surges when I breastfeed are much smaller, so the more receptors there are to gobble up what prolactin is there, the more easily you’ll make all the milk I need.
Besides prolactin, there’s oxytocin, another hormone I activate when I am at your breast.  Oxytocin is part of what makes you so addicted to me!  It’s “the love hormone” and it helps you feel relaxed and content when we’re breastfeeding.  Go ahead, mommy, exhale and relax!  It’s OK!  Oxytocin release is triggered by nipple stimulation, not necessarily milk removal (though when things are going well, my stimulation of your nipples usually means I’m removing milk!).  Now, I know this might sound a little awkward coming from your baby, but I need you to know something about oxytocin.  There are only three events in your life that trigger oxytocin release: nipple stimulation (like when I’m breastfeeding), labor (the oxytocin released during childbirth stimulates uterine contractions, which is why nipple stimulation might be suggested when labor stalls, and also explains why sometimes, after you breastfeed me, you feel an increased expulsion of lochia and maybe some cramping), and … orgasm!!  Isn’t neat that the same hormone plays a part in making me, birthing me, and feeding me, and it’s a hormone that makes you feel GOOD to do all three?

Mommy, I know you are trying your very best for me and you’ve been worried about whether your body can satisfy my appetite.  I know you’re used to being able to measure everything, and your breasts don’t have markers on them to tell you how much milk I got.  Maybe you used a breast pump, and that confirmed your worries that there isn’t much milk there – but mommy, please understand that a good pump can mimic me, but your body wasn’t designed to have all these wonderful hormone surges for a cold piece of plastic with a noisy vacuum motor.  You know that feeling you get when you hold my warmth and weight, smell how delicious I am, and nom nom nom on my fat cheeks?  That feeling helps you make milk!  That feeling is part of the whole system that was designed to make you need to be close to me, just as much as I need to be close to you.  And mommy, I know you’re very busy, and important, and there’s so much you used to do before I came, and I know right now, it feels like you’ll never do those things again, and our house is getting messy, and maybe that scares you.  But please know, every moment you spend holding me, every time you gaze lovingly at me, and every hour you spend breastfeeding me in these early days is so important to me, because you’re all I know.  I love daddy and grandma and all of our friends, but I’m designed to be happiest and least stressed when I’m with you.  Can you wear me in a sling or soft carrier after I’m milk-drunk?  I really like listening to your heart beating while I sleep, and you are warm and soft and smell so good.  That space between your breasts is perfectly sized for my head, and there’s nothing I like better than the feel of your skin against mine.  Well, maybe there is something I like better … I love it when you sleep next to me after we’ve been breastfeeding.  Oh, mommy, when you nurse me while lying down, you relax and your milk flows so nicely, and I feel like you’re so happy to be with me, and I’m very special to you because you don’t have to run off and do something else as soon as I’ve let your breast go.

And mommy, I have a promise to make to you.  I can’t say for sure when it will happen, but there will come a day when I need you a little bit less intensely.  My feedings will get more organized, my weight gain will stabilize, and sometimes, I’ll even like when my daddy or grandma or other loving person holds me.  But today, I need you.  You’ll always be my number one, even after we’re done breastfeeding, but I will learn, like you did, to defer my needs and to trust others to meet them once you and I get a good thing going.  Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me so far. Until you start giving me an allowance, I hope my good health, sweet smiles, coos, and giggles will sustain you!
Love,
Baby

23 weeks

How big is baby? The size of a pomegranate or about 11.8 inches. Approximately 1.5 pounds.
Symptoms: stretch marks on my breasts, gagging, insatiable thirst, braxton hicks, acne and it's getting much harder to bend over and sit up in bed. Oh and how could I forget? Peeing all.the.time.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I was a little worried about how much I've gained since I have my appetite back thanks to Zofran but I'm officially up 16 pounds. My midwife says that's great!
Maternity Clothes: I'm going to need some new jeans soon if the weather doesn't start warming up. They're getting tight on my belly and butt!
Sleep: Insomnia still comes and goes.
Best Moment This Week: Starting the nursery and working on decorations.
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots! I love it.
Food Cravings: Today I drove past a Krispy Kreme and just HAD to have one--I haven't had one in years! Baby girl enjoyed her first (and second) Krispy Kreme. :)
Funny moment: You know that scene in The Last Crusade where the librarian is stamping the book as Indiana Jones is busting up the floor? I had a similar experience this morning involving baby kicks and artillery fire. Kick, kick...BOOM. It was pretty funny to wake up to!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? Still in but getting more and more shallow every day.
What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery, buying her crib, making it to viability.
Next Appointment: 11 May
Milestones: One week closer to viability! Starting the nursery.



Had a great midwife appointment today. The results of my a/s were perfectly normal, baby's in the 55th percentile for weight, my weight gain is on track (I was worried about it since I got Zofran and got my appetite back!) and no more placenta previa! She was really enthusiastic about my birth plan and said they already do everything on there so not to worry. She let me decline the pertussis vaccination until I'm not longer pregnant and we talked about the vit k, hep B and eye ointment. She's totally okay with me not doing them but I think we'll elect to do the vitamin K shot. I think it's probably a really good thing we're not headed for Rucker right now because I love my midwife. ♥

MIA

I've been having issues with Google Reader not showing all of the blogs that I follow so occasionally I will go to the actual blogs to see if I've missed anything. I was looking through my list today and saw that some of the blogs have actually disappeared all together. Does anyone know what happened to Pink Lip Gloss and Prenatals?

I Do Not Consent

I read this article a few days ago and was absolutely horrified. There seems to be a lot of speculation in the comments as to whether or not something like this could actually happen. As unfortunate and scary as this is, I believe something like this could absolutely happen in a hospital. The birth culture in America is so screwed up and labor, something that should be viewed as a natural process, has been twisted into this incredibly dangerous medical problem that often "require" interventions because the safety and welfare of mommy and baby are in "jeopardy."  Of course there are times where interventions are necessary and vitally important but as I research childbirth, I hear about more and more instances where interventions and other procedures are performed unnecessarily, often times against the mother's wishes.  I'm not too worried with the staff of midwives that I've chosen but I just hope and pray this doesn't happen to me.

I'm the type of person who researches the hell out of something, whether it be to plan a trip or to buy a new camera (Sidebar: Can you believe that people in this country actually spend more time doing research before buying a new electronic than they do researching childbirth? Insane!)  I was like this during infertility treatments (the doctors on post haaated me for this because I questioned everything!) and I'm like this now when it comes to pregnancy, breastfeeding and labor and delivery. I like to consider myself a well informed person and am always shocked at women who are okay with just going along with whatever their doctors say, no questions asked. I guess it has a lot to do with the horrible care I received during my infertility journey but I can't do that. My goal is for Mike and I to go into my labor armed with the knowledge to make informed decisions and not be pushed around by medical staff.

My friend, Allie, went through this with her birth team. Unfortunately, the OB on call during her labor was absolutely horrible to her and she ended up having a pretty traumatic L&D, far from the totally natural birth that she really wanted.  Allie made it all the way to 10 centimeters with no pain medications or interventions. The nurse allowed her to start pushing and when the mean OB arrived in her room she insisted that she perform a cervical check. Up to this point, Allie had not had her cervix checked for progress, she was confident that her body was doing what it should based on the way she was feeling. The OB checked Allie and hurt her so badly that she screamed in pain and the OB announced that Allie was only at a 4. Remember that minutes prior to this she had been at a 10 and was already pushing. The OB berated the nurse and basically called her a liar, right in front of Allie. In minutes, Allie's labor spiraled into something other than what she wanted and she felt like she lost control. Allie is a lot like me. She also had horrible experiences during her infertility journey and she also did a TON of research on natural childbirth. Her experience is proof that things don't always go as planned, no matter how much you prepare. I need to keep this in mind.

I read this article from The Birth Bug earlier today and I thought it was very helpful. If any of my readers are also seeking an intervention-free birth, it's something valuable to remember.





http://thebirthbug.wordpress.com/2011/05/27/i-do-not-consent/
If you are in a birthing situation and you find that your caregiver is about to do something you don’t want (e.g. an episiotomy, pulling out the forceps, putting pit in your IV, etc.), you may want to remember these four little words:

“I do not consent.”

Saying, “I’d really rather you not cut me,” or, “I don’t want a vacuum delivery if the baby is still ok,” or “Please don’t up the pit” may or may not work. However, if you say that you do not consent to a certain procedure, then the doctor or midwife cannot legally proceed wth it.
I only say this because I have heard many, many horror stories of women being on the receiving end of what in any situation other than a birth would be considered assault. Make sure you are absolutely clear with your intent and tell your caregiver if you do not consent to a procedure. I will say, however, that this phrase should probably not be taken lightly. Weigh your caregiver’s experience against your own intuition. Is your baby still ok? Are you still ok?  Find out whether the caregiver is recommending a procedure out of medical necessity, or because of convenience or a hospital policy.
If nothing else, you can always say, “Wait. I do not consent yet.” Go on to ask these four questions:
1) Is this an emergency? (If no, move on.)
2) What are the benefits of this procedure?
3) What are the risks of this procedure?
4) What happens if we do nothing?
Remember that it is never, ever too late- even in the middle of labor- to change your caregiver or birth site. If a nurse is trying to do something you do  not want, request a different one. If you are home with a midwife who has suddenly turned sour on you, it’s okay to leave and go to the hospital. If you are at the hospital and there is no acceptable caregiver, it is okay to leave the delivery room and drive to the next hospital. Again, these actions should be taken only with real cause, not at the drop of a hat.
Remember, it is YOUR birth. Yes, doctors and midwives are trained for birth. But sometimes procedures, liability issues, and yes, even sometimes the convenience of the caregiver can get in the way of letting your body do what it does best. You should always be treated with respect and dignity. Remember, with careful consideration, it is okay to utter those four words: “I do not consent.”

Fabric Pom Poms

I've been nesting since I found out that we're not moving. I've been so inspired (Yay for Pinterest!) to make my own nursery decorations. I decided to give  these Fabric Pom Poms a try. They're so cute and CHEAP to make!  It's definitely a learning process and they look nicer with each one I make. I ran out of fabric on my first one so the two sides ended up being different fabrics (Fail.) and I also placed the fabric too far apart (Another Fail.) You'll see what I'm talking about....

My little helpers. Quidditch and Figaro

Supplies needed:
Hot glue gun
Scissors
Fabric scraps
Styrofoam ball or newspapers and tape
Fishing line or ribbon

• Step One:  Find or make a ball shaped base. You can use a Styrofoam ball or you can use old newspapers, crumple them into a ball shape and cover the entire ball with packing tape, saving even more money.  This is what I did.You can make the ball as big or as small as you want to.

• Step Two:  Tie fishing line or ribbon around the ball. I suppose you could add this at the end but I think it helps support the ball's weight if you tie it around the entire shape. I didn't take a picture of this step but all I did was tie it around the ball and secure it it in place with some hot glue.
  
• Step Three: Cut your fabric circles. You will need a LOT of these and it's better to overestimate so that you have enough to cover the entire ball. I was using scraps so it's hard to estimate the exact yardage that I was using. I used the roll of packing tape as my stencil and it seemed to be a good size for the circles.
  
  
• Step Four: Start gluing and placing your circles onto the ball. Fold the circle in half and then in half again so it's wedge shaped. Add a dab of glue along the open edged to keep them together. Then add more glue to the point of the wedge and stick it on the ball. Continue to add them, placing them close together, all over the ball.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With a little bit of patience (this step takes a LONG time!) you will eventually end up with something like this:
  
  

  

  My first attempt. I ran out of fabric so the other side looks completely different. FAIL.
  
  

  

  My third attempt. MUCH better and I think it looks cuter when the fabric is mushed closer together.
  
  
  

I can't wait to see how they look hanging in the baby's room! :)

Wordless Wednesday

Breastfeeding Guest Post: Part 3

Here is the conclusion to my breastfeeding guest post. You can see Part 1 and Part 2 here. A HUGE thank you to my friend from Allie at Project Open Hearts for helping me out with this. My blog has had a lot of traffic in the past few days and I hope her experience and success helps too encourage other moms too! I have had a few comments from twin moms comment that they hope to breastfeed their babies and would love some similar information on that. I've actually found an IVF twin mom (we went to the same RE!) who was nice enough to share her breastfeeding experience with me. I'll be posting that in the next few days!

• How long did it take for your milk to come in? 

By the second day, I was sure my milk was in. 

• Did you see a lactation specialist in the hospital?

Yes!  She was amazing.  She really explained things very well and was VERY encouraging.  I highly recommend it. There was also this amazing nurse who helped us check out and she spent almost 2 hours helping me too.  When they really know what they're doing and they are happy to help, it makes a huge difference. 

• How many times do you have to feed him? I heard formula babies sleep longer through the night.

Pretty much since he was born, he eats every 1 to 4 hours around the clock.  At 5 1/2 weeks old, he usually cluster feeds between 6-10pm and then sleeps from around 10pm to 12am-2am and then wakes up again between 4-6am. (and continues this few hours awake and few hours sleeping throughout the day)    I have heard that formula fed babies sleep longer too, but I don't mind the interruption in the middle of the night.  I get more snuggles and I have time to start a load of laundry or get diaper laundry done because it takes a couple hours in between each step,  And for me, I have had insomnia and had to wake up to pee since I was about 8 weeks pregnant... so it's actually an improvement to only get up once or twice.  

 

Middle of the night feedings are the quiet time where it's just me and him, and as tired as I am, I still don't mind waking him to this little face.

• How do you know he's getting enough milk?

Look at his diaper output. Check out Kellymom.com for information on this.  http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/enough-milk/

• Emotional aspects of BFing

I have already written a little bit about our struggle with infertility, but this plays a big role in breast feeding too and how I feel about it emotionally.  I longed for my whole life to be a mom and for years while we tried unsuccessfully, I longed to be a mom.  I yearned to be the one my child ran to and needed for comfort.  I prayed to be needed.  In the books that I read about breastfeeding, they explained the way the oxytocin is released during each nursing session and how breastfeeding can help to ward off post partum depression.  I had already spent so many years so sad that I was looking forward to this "safe guard" against depression.

For me, breastfeeding is the ultimate.  It's getting to be 100% mom, 100% of the time.  I feed him 24 hours a day and when he cries, I can calm him in seconds with nursing him.  It's amazing and fantastic and nothing that I can imagine could make me feel more needed by him.  This type of emotional high is something that I dreamed motherhood would be like.  As much as it probably bothers Jack that there are times that he can't get Arie to calm down or stop crying, it makes my heart overflow to be able to hold him close and have him feel instantly calm and secure and safe.  I have nothing to compare it to obviously, and I have no perspective of what a formula feeding mom experiences like this so I have no idea if it's the same, but that is what I personally get out of breastfeeding.

 I do consider it to be a big bonding experience, especially now that he makes eye contact with me while he's nursing.

• Do you pump?

No, I do not pump.  I thought I would want to so that I could donate breast milk, but I tried pumping several times and I absolutely hated it.  It's really not for me.  Plus, I'm a stay at home mom, so I have no need for a pump.  

• Has there ever been a moment when you wanted to throw in the towel and just give him formula?

No.  The amount that I educated myself about all of the amazing benefits of breast feeding far outweighed any desire that I might have to feed him formula.  I definitely do get tired and even the other night, I woke Jack up at about 3am and asked him to feed Arie.  Jack was half asleep and lifted his shirt and grabbed his breast area.  It made me laugh and Jack smiled and went back to sleep.  It can be exhausting and incredibly emotionally draining while he's cluster feeding and it seems like he won't ever fall back asleep and he's uncomfortable and you are just at your wits end because you are so tired, but even then I have never once felt even a smidgen of desire to go open the can of formula in my pantry that was sent to me against my will as a sample when someone sold my information.  

• Do you think you would have such a strong bond with your baby if you were bottle feeding? 

I have absolutely no way to compare, since Arie has never taken a bottle of expressed breast milk or formula.  I would assume not since part of the connection is that my body is still physically sustaining him, but I can't say for sure. 

• How does it make you feel to know that your breasts are sustaining life? 

Kinda like a super hero.  I'm serious, I remember when I discovered that my boobs were leaking when I was pregnant and I felt like I should have a cape.  My boobs work, I thought to myself! How exciting!  It's pretty amazing to experience, especially since I believe that God designed my body to work like this, it's just amazing to see creation working like it does.  

• Are your breasts sore all the time? 

No, not at all.  When my milk "came in" and my breasts started really producing a lot more volume of milk, my boobs were sore, but not too bad.  I nursed Arie as much as he wanted to and it was not even 24 hours of sore breasts.  Occasionally, my breasts will tingle and be a little sore and hard if Arie takes a slightly longer nap than usual or a couple hours after he has finished cluster feeding, but it is really not hard to handle or even something that I would consider taking anything for.  

• Do you wake up leaking? 

Yup!  And when I get out of the shower, I leak.  I made some handmade breast pads but I have found the disposable ones are a bit more absorbent.  I sleep with a nursing tank top on and breast pads in the cups and that keeps me from waking up soaking wet.  Especially because I sleep with Arie next to me, I wake up with him rooting and that makes breast milk let down.

• Do you nurse in public? How do you feel about nursing in public?

Yup. I will feed my baby when ever he is hungry, where ever I am.  I have mostly nursed in my truck before we walk into a store or something.  I will sit in the back seat next to his car seat.  I have nursed in the pediatrician's office, during his one month check up.  The doctor had finished his exam so I sat there and nursed him and chatted with him through the rest of the appointment while Arie nursed.  I can't think of anywhere else off the top of my head.

I guess I don't have any specific feelings about nursing in public, as much as I would have about a baby being fed however it's fed.  It is what it is, it's a hungry baby eating.  I personally have larger breasts which makes it more difficult to be discreet while nursing in public and I think it would be very noticeable if I didn't take some measures to help myself be more discreet.  I generally wear a nursing tank top with a nursing bra (Bravado is awesome!) and that way it covers up my belly and each individual side will snap down at a time.  Then I try to wear a tshirt or a long sleeve shirt over the nursing tank so that I have something that I can lift up and it will cover the top part of my breast and the tank top will cover my belly so that only my nipple is exposed and Arie's face/head will cover the rest of what is exposed.  While out shopping with my husband, he came back to the truck and was talking to me while I was nursing Arie in the back seat and he was standing in the other door of the truck and suddenly he said that he hadn't even realized that I was nursing him.  So if my husband who constantly oggles my boobs didn't notice what I was doing, I would say I am pretty successful at being discreet. 

• Breastfeeding is supposed to be a natural thing, why do I need to "prepare" for it? 

I suppose it is more natural for some people than others.  If you had a lot of younger siblings that you were old enough to remember them being babies and growing up, and your mom nursed and you were around that, you probably don't need anywhere close to as much preparation as someone who was never exposed to it and never experienced it.  I needed to prepare for it and educate myself because I wanted to have a fully complete opinion on it about why I wanted to do it and I wanted to know exactly how it worked and what it did and why.

• Do you think success is possible with no preparation?

Like I said in the last question, definitely, IF you have been exposed and around it.  I read a lot of Amish fiction and the Amish breastfeed their babies.  If you lived in a community and family where your mom and sisters and aunts and every woman you know breastfeeds, you would be exposed to it constantly.  When you are around it that much, you will naturally pick up on the ins and outs of why and how it works and how you know it's working and you would have a lot of people around who have found their tried and true methods of troubleshooting and making it work.  While that requires no preparation on your part, since you aren't actually doing the work, you are just around it, it is still technically preparation.

There are also women out there who just choose to do it and make it work themselves even with zero support.  I think it's possible, but it will definitely be easier and less worrisome if you are educated and prepare and get knowledge about the whole process including possible issues.

• Where does your baby sleep?

We have a crib in his nursery and a pack'n'play in our bedroom next to my side of the bed.  But, Arie sleeps with us in our bed, in my arm.  I sleep on my left side and he sleeps in the crook of my arm, facing me, in between Jack and I.  

 

(Side lying nursing in bed.)

 

This is how we sleep every night.  I wasn't sleeping in this picture, but when I do go to sleep, my pillow is pushed much further back and I sleep on the very edge of it so that it's no where close to Arie's head.  Also, all the blankets that he has are his receiving blanket and my arm that goes around him blocks the quilt that Jack and I sleep under from covering him.  

 

This is how he sleeps almost every night.  For some reason he has always liked his hands in his face, and he sleeps with his hands right by his head. 

He falls back to sleep when side lying nursing in bed.

• How does your husband feel about breastfeeding?

I would have to ask him to be 100% sure, but I am pretty sure that he felt the same way about breastfeeding as I did in the beginning.  It's free/super cheap, so definitely that's the choice for us.  Once I became more educated and started reading to him the information that I found about it, both of us came to a unanimous decision that breastfeeding was absolutely what we wanted to pursue.  Both of us have pretty "traditional" views on gender roles and he looks at breastfeeding as an extension of motherhood and mothering and that feeding him is my "job" or "role" if that makes sense.  He really doesn't feel the need to share that bonding part with me and it makes him happy to see me doing it.  Plus, Jack really enjoys that my boobs are out almost all the time... like I said, my husband likes to oogle.

 I hear a lot of women say that they think their husband will want to feed their baby too or that they would like help with the feedings.  For me, 24/7, even though I have to feed him, I can always tag Jack in and let him burp Arie and I can go back to sleep.  Whenever Jack is home, he spends a lot of time burping Arie after I feed him.   

• Have you ever had sore, cracked nipples?

Sore, absolutely.  Red and really really sore, definitely.  But not cracked.  We cemented what a correct latch feels like with the LC at the hospital and using lanolin a lot during the first few weeks between each feeding REALLY helped with my sore nipples.  

• But aren't breast sexual? 

Yes and no.  To be perfectly clear, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding your child.  It feels good emotionally and physically there is a connection with your baby, but there is nothing sexual in nature about it, for me.

It does bother me when Jack gets all happy about seeing my boobs all the time.  I like that my husband is attracted to me, but I have to remind him not to make comments while our child is latched on.  Also, I refuse to french kiss Jack while Arie is latched.  Jack and I kiss a LOT, and we always have, so it's a bit of an adjustment to not be able to freely kiss my husband whenever I want or he wants, but I feel weird about any kind of kiss like that when Arie is latched.

Jack makes jokes about it whenever I show him how Arie takes naps hugging my boobs or I tell him how my boobs are comforting for him and that sometimes he will be screaming and then I put him to my breast to see if he wants to eat and sometimes he just wants his face by it.  Sometimes that's just what he needs and Jack will joke that sometimes that's just what Jack needs too.  Obviously he means it in a completely different way than what my baby needs.  It's really hard to explain this.

Both my husband and I do have a sense of humor about him loving and needing my boobs though.  This is Arie napping with his face pressed between my boobs.  I had to laugh.