This morning I had my appointment with my PCM to seek a referral to the off-post RE in Olympia.
I saw my PCM less than three hours ago and my referral has already been denied. The head nurse from the IF clinic on post just called and said that they won't refer people off post because "Tricare doesn't cover infertility." That's only partly true. How can that be true when I know PLENTY of people who are seen at off-post infertility clinics?! They will cover EVERYTHING except the actual IUI or IVF procedures. The clinic in Olympia says they bill Tricare all the time and that I just need a referral. Madigan is refusing to give me one. This is so incredibly frustrating. I don't want to burn any bridges with the clinic on post, especially with my laparascopy scheduled for the 25th of August. It's a Catch 22 because I'd have no problem getting a referral to a civilian infertility clinic if we were at a duty station without one on post. First, the IF clinic jerks me around for months because they can't see me when I need to be seen and now we have to wait an effing year for IVF. It's especially ridiculous because there's a perectly good RE who is ready and willing to see me NOW and who charges less for IVF than the cost on post, but I need that damned referral. So I'm stuck and right now I'm waiting to hear from the Patient Advocacy office. I really, really hope that they are able to help us.
Oh! I did finally e-mail my "not an apology" friend back. She called me today and we chatted for awhile. She asked me what was going on with us and as I was telling her about all of our procedures, tests and failed treatments she said, "Yeah. I can't believe we got pregnant on R&R. We were like WHAT THE FUCK?" I started to tear up. How could she be so fucking insensitive? i wish I was a stronger person and that I would have told her to pull her head out of her ass. So obviously I was right. She doesn't get it. If it doesn't affect her than it doesn't matter. She is a good friend and we always had a lot of fun hanging out with them so I don't want to burn bridges, especially because they might be coming to Lewis, but I will not be talking to her about infertility anymore if I can help it.
I'm so sorry about the denial, hopefully you're able to talk to the right people to get it approved. FX for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI do understand about not wanting to burn bridges but sometimes you have to think about yourself. I had a really good friend, best friend even, & she was great about being there when I needed to vent. Maybe it was because her daughter was 2 but anywho, as soon as they were going to start trying again she started saying horribly insensitive things. "I don't want to have to share my birthday with another kid, I want the baby but I don't want to carry it because it wrecks my body(so I tell her there is surrogacy & she tells me, oh no if I'm going to have a baby it's coming out of me), saying how she hopes they get preg their first month off BC like the first time", etc. Ugh! Anyways, she was my best friend but as soon as they were going to start trying again she became the worst fertile foe & our friendship is almost non-existant. She meant a lot to me but I couldn't handle being upset every time we talked. She knew she upset me but she didn't care. You don't have to burn the bridge but it might be good to put up a locked fence on your side. :)
Sorry you're having to deal with all the insurance mumbo jumbo! My Dad was a Marine and we had tricare, it sucked trying to get to see a doctor off base for stuff.
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