Dec 22, 2012

ICLW

Hello to everyone from ICLW. It's been a LONG time since I participated but I have a very good excuse.

Meet Hazel, our IVF miracle who was born on August 10 after a four year battle with infertility. You can see more of our IF history in the tab up top.

I'm a SAHM to our beautiful little girl and loving every minute of it. We practice attachment parenting and are a co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing family. We are also an Army family and relocated from the Seattle area to SE Alabama (cue banjos) in October. We miss the Pacific Northwest dearly and are hoping to go back there eventually.

We would like more children some day but we aren't quite sure if we want to go down the road  of treatments again. For now, we're just soaking up every moment of baby that we can.

Thanks for stopping by!

Dec 15, 2012

Four Months


It's true what they say--days seem to last forever but the months and years fly by. My sweet little Hazel is already four months old. I can hardly believe it. Every day is something new it seems and this past week it's like a light switch has turned on in her head because she has become so interested in everything. She is going through the four month wakeful period. She slept for about 40 minutes total all afternoon and evening on Thursday and was a complete crab by the evening. She loves to look around and investigate everything from the security of the Ergo.  Luckily she's still a great sleeper at night and the space between her feedings are starting to stretch out. We have discovered that she likes to sleep on her tummy. She stays asleep longer this way because she doesn't wake her self up flailing her arms.

couldn't you just eat those thighs up?
 
She smiles all the time. She's such a happy girl! Her new favorite thing to do is to screech. She sounds just like the baby velociraptor on Jurassic Park. She reaches octaves that could rupture ear drums but she's oh so cute when she does it. I've gotten her to belly laugh a couple times and that is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.


She is really warming up to Mike. She has smiles for him when he comes home and on Saturday mornings they hang out while I get to sleep in. A few weekends ago I woke up leaking everywhere because she was content and happily snoozing on her daddy. <3

Breastfeeding is still going amazingly well and Hazel is definitely a booby baby. At this rate I see no reason why we won't make it to at least a year nursing but I will nurse her as long as the both of us are still happy.

We still love cloth diapering. I've had a hard time figuring out good wash routine down here with the water.  We've always used Rockin' Green without issue but it's just not cutting it down here. I ordered some Charlie's yesterday to see how that works.

Hazel is so good at rolling over now. As soon as she's on her back she rolls to her tummy, screeching and grunting all the way. She's getting really good at baby push ups too and she loves to stand up. She smiles so big and we can tell she thinks it's so awesome to stand. We  got  her some toys for Christmas since she is reaching for everything now--last night she grabbed my plate at dinner!


She's in 3-6 month clothes but wearing some 6-9 month things as well, mostly pants since her fluffy butt needs the extra space. We'll find out on Wednesday how much she weighs when er go in for her four month appointment.

Hazel, we love you so much. You make me smile daily more times than I can count. You're developing such a little personality, complete with your own little temper. You're definitely a girl who knows her own mind and I'm having the best time watching you discover the world around you. Thank you for being my sweet baby girl.

Dec 13, 2012

The Man With the Bag

Do you participate in the tradition of Santa Claus? Or will you with your kids?

We had Santa in our home when I was growing up. I believed in him for a long time--until I was in fourth grade. I still remember when I found out he wasn't real. I remember being upset but certainly not devastated. Maybe because of my age?

I know he's a Christmas tradition and all but I am truly torn. I just don't want to.be responsible for breaking my little girl's heart when she finds out he's not real.

So....what's your take on the man with the bag?


Don't Be a Sheep

I post about a lot of different things on my blog. Breastfeeding, pregnancy, natural birth, car seat safety, etc. I post about them because I'm passionate about these things and the things I post are my opinions based on my own research. Not everyone will agree with me. I know that I am not a typical mainstream American mom and that's okay.

When I was pregnant I quickly discovered just how many people take there words of their doctors as gold. They become blind followers. "Your baby is too big for you to birth--you need a c-section."  "You're not progressing quickly enough--you need pitocin."  In the IF support group I started I saw so many women  just sit back and let the doctors do what they wanted to do instead of advocating for themselves when they didn't fall pregnant month after month.  We are taught we should trust our doctors afterall, right? My experience with infertility totally changed that for me and I probably wouldn't be a mom today if I had listened to those doctors. 

In my last post I wrote that I feel letting a baby cry it out is cruel and unnecessary. I stand by that. There have been times when I couldn't settle Hazel down. She cried, I cried. In my limited four months of experience, my husband and I have started to discover our parenting philosophy. It will evolve over time, I'm sure. We will catch a lot of flack for it, I'm sure. (You don't have a crib? You wear her like that all the time? You wash POOP in your washing machine? She can't just eat whenever she wants.) It's already started but I have a reason for everything I do, whether it be breastfeeding, co-sleeping or whatever. I'm not doing it just because I saw someone else do it or because some doctor told me to. Hazel's pediatrician actually told me last month that she should be sleeping through the night at around four months and I should start letting her fuss. I just gave her the ole smile and nod . This is what I did whereas other parents may go home and say, "Oh no. Our baby needs to be sleeping through the night. Our doctor says it's okay to let her cry so it must not be bad." And that's that.

Okay, back the point of this entry. Don't be a blind follower, no matter the issue. Do your research, form your opinion and then stand by it. You will be judged. A lot. But as long as you're doing what you feel is best for your family then that's all you can do.

Dec 12, 2012

Say No to CIO

I just downloaded the sample for my Kindle and I already know it's going to be good. The beginning broke my heart while I read about what babies go through when they're forced to cry it out. SO many people push this "method" of "sleep training" on parents and it's absolutely horrible. I am 100% against crying it out. (An inconsolable screaming baby who is being held is not the same as a baby crying in a room alone.) CIO is cruel and does nothing for your baby except teach them learned helplesness.  You know that Ferber guy who everyone raved about awhile back? Yeah, he retracted his statement. That should tell you something.


A baby who does not sleep through the night is not a bad baby! Hell, I don't even sleep through the night most times. Kelly Mom has some great information on normal infant sleep patterns.
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

Dec 7, 2012

Misfit.

I do not belong in Alabama. (Neither does my husband for that matter but this is my blog so it's all about me, right?) We've been here two months and the only positive thing we've discovered so far is the fact that he will not have to leave me and Hazel any time soon--and in the military that's HUGE. Not only are we in the middle of nowhere, it has been incredibly hard to meet people here.

Before I became a mom I always thought, "Just wait until I have a kid. It will be so much easier to meet people then!" Wrong. Know why? Because Moms are judgey, myself included. It's hard enough finding people you mesh with on a personal level but when you throw parenting into the mix it's a million times harder. The Mommy Wars are hell.

I went to two playgroups this week for kids under one. I was one of two people who showed up on Monday. The other woman and I chatted for a few minutes while waiting to see if anyone else showed up. It was awkward. I am not good at chit chat and never have been. I got asked if Hazel was sleeping through the night yet and a very surprised look when I said she wasn't. Why is it a surprise that my three month old, exclusively breastfed baby still eats a few times a night? I don't mind it at all. We hung out for about 15 minutes and decided to leave when no one else showed up. Playgroup fail.

Today I went to another playgroup. I was a little more hopeful about this one because the moms who said they were going were from the Crunchy Moms group here. (Only a little more hopeful because the Crunchy Moms group here kind of sucks compared to the one at our old duty station. They don't get together or chit chat. I was actually scolded for trying to post off topic things in the group when I first moved here. I wasn't trying to cause problems, I just wanted to talk to and meet up with some other like minded mamas.)


I should have known I would be uncomfortable as soon as I pulled up and saw the Gadsden Flag flying. I was the only newbie there and the other ladies talked as if I wasn't there. The hostess handed out invites to her kid's first birthday party to everyone but me. I get it--I'm the new person. She didn't have to invite me but did she really need to do that then and there to make me feel even more excluded? All their husbands are flight school students and we were talking about their choices in duty stations. I started talking about Lewis and how much I liked it there. They all agreed it would be a nice place to be stationed were it not for all those, "Obama lovers..." I kept my mouth shut. Sigh. I really hope we meet some nice people here or it's going to be an even longer two years....

That's it for now. I have a crabby baby who got two vaccines today. One of these days I'll be sure to blog about our Alternate Vaccine Schedule and why we decided to go that route. 


P.S. Despite the beautiful baby in my arms, I'm afraid I will always be the bitter infertile. Hearing other women talk about their incredible fertility and the ease in which they got pregnant still makes me twitchy.

Dec 6, 2012

Happy St. Nicholas Day #2

Happy St. Nicholas Day to all my readers! I've been looking forward to this day for awhile. One year ago today I found out that our IVF had worked and I had a baby growing in my tummy. We were so shocked. We were overjoyed. When Mike went to work I was scared to move off our bed for fear of doing something to make it all go away. Those early days of pregnancy were so incredibly surreal. I just didn't believe that it was finally happening to me. I remember going into the Maternity section at Target and feeling uncomfortable (I think I compared it to Mor.dor) 


I can hardly believe that in one year we went from here:
to here:


Each one of Hazel's smiles and cuddles make every single injection and procedure worth it. I would do it all 10,000 more times if it meant having this sweet baby girl in our lives.

Dec 2, 2012

Christmastime!

Despite the 70 degree weather yesterday, we set out to find the perfect first Christmas tree for Hazel. Unfortunately, Hazel hadn't slept well all morning so she was a complete crab as we walked around the tree farm. We still got some cute pictures though.
Alabama is a different world. They actually sprayed their trees green here! I guess the heat turns them yellowy during this time of year. We are definitely not in WA anymore. Man, I've never been so homesick for another place before. Sigh...
Anyway, we had a good time putting up our tree but it would have been better if it didn't give Mike and I a rash while doing so. The branches are so flimsy that we couldn't put our German Candles on it so we resorted to tinsel which turned out to be really bad with the cats. Again, sigh.... We are not southerners and it felt so wrong to br trimming the tree in shorts with the windows open!



 
 
 

Nov 28, 2012

Rolling over....

When we got home Sunday Hazel started a new game. As soon as I put her on her back she will roll over. Then she gets mad that she's in her tummy so I put her on her back and we start all over again....  I love this little girl.

Nov 23, 2012

Giving Thanks

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mike and I are so incredibly blessed this year, all day long we just kept talking about it. So much has changed in one year. One year ago today, I had my egg retrieval. Dr. M. retrieved seven eggs, six from my right ovary and one from my left. Five fertilized and two made it to our  five day transfer. Out of those two only one implanted and now we have a beautiful, happy baby girl. She is the light of our lives and when I look into her eyes all is right in the world.  She really is our miracle baby.

Hazel at three weeks old.

Nov 17, 2012

Three Month Stats

Hazel went to the pediatrician on Wednesday for her two month well baby check up. We were a month overdue  because of the move. She got her DTaP and Rotavirus vaccines and did great. I was so worried about her flipping out but she gave an annoyed little fuss and was great. Whew!

She weighed 13 lbs. 12 oz. (+5 since birth) and was 23 1/4 inches long. She's a perfect growing girl! A perfect growing girl who rolled over for the first time today! And I got it on video!

Tomorrow we head to Tennessee for a week with my huge immediate family. They'll be 22 people at my sister's but luckily she has a huge house! ...and my brother is flying in from Seattle so we get to have all 3 babies together again. I can't wait to see how much they've grown!

Nov 16, 2012

What Difference a Year Makes!

One year ago today I started the injections for the IVF cycle that brought us our beautiful Hazel. I'm so grateful to have this sweet baby in my arms and hoping everyone still struggling with infertility will find their success someday as well.
What a difference a year makes!

Nov 15, 2012

She's Reaching!

Hazel finally got that turtle she's been trying so hard to get! And notice which hand she's using--maybe she'll be a lefty like mommy.

Nov 13, 2012

Videos!

I finally figured out how to upload videos from my phone! Enjoy.
She learned how to screech last week. 

Three Months Old



 I know I probably sound like a broken record but I can't believe my baby is already three months old! Time is going too quickly. She is pretty much in all 3-6 months clothes now and has been for a few weeks. She has become so vocal and gives us the most beautiful smiles constantly. She and I have entire conversations in grunt, squeals and screeches. She is so happy first thing in the morning and pretty much only cries if she's wet or tired. I stay on top of  nursing her so she rarely cries because she's hungry but she'll cry when she wants to comfort nurse.





I feed her on demand so she doesn't really have a set schedule of any sort but she has kind of put herself on one. She'll go down anytime between 7:30 and 8:30 and will be up between 6 and 7. She still sleeps with me and nurses about every three hours at night. I really can't complain! Although, Daylight Savings Time really messed her up and for a few days we were up way before 6. That wasn't fun.


She has mastered the backwards scoot and will kick herself to the edge of her play mat. She is almost rolling over! She's about 3/4 way there and gets stuck because of her arm and shoulder. I have no idea how much she weighs or how long she is because we haven't been to the doctor yet  We tried going yesterday but Tricare never switched us over to the new region so we couldn't be seen.




Her likes:
Her playmat
Reading books
Sucking her fingers. She hasn't quite figured out her thumb yet. 
Her swing for short periods
Baths--she loves to splash!
looking at her bows and room decorations when getting her diaper changed
The bumblebee game and being tickled
Nursing--the kid is always on the boob
Her Ergo--thank GOD for babywearing or I wouldn't get anything done
Mommy but she's warming up to Daddy a little more
Bouncing
Watching ND football. Seriously--she just stares at the screen when it's on!

Her dislikes:
The carseat. Still not a fan but she is slowly getting better. We got a mirror that plays music and that keeps her entertained and happy for short spans.
Wet diapers. After a month in sposies i really think she notices when she's wet now and will let us know. Fine with me--maybe she'll potty train more quickly. :)


That's all I can think of! She really is an easy gooing baby. We are so lucky. We just stare and stare at her and still can't believe she's here.We are soaking up every minute because it's going by way too fast.

I love the BEARS and I love my Daddy

Nov 11, 2012

Happy Veterans Day


Mike on his second tour to Iraq, my dad in Thailand in 1967 and my brother in law, Mark, on the day of his retirement after serving in the Army for 24 years.
A big thank you to all our nation's veterans. Your service means so much to me and I'll never take it for granted.  Also, a huge shout out to all the spouses of vets. Being a military spouse is not an easy job by any means and it takes a special kind of person to fill that role. You deserve thanks as well!

Nov 6, 2012

VOTE!




 I hope everyone exercises their right to vote for. I hope you make an educated, informed decision and vote for the candidate who best exemplifies the values that matter to you. I hope you don't for anyone just because of their party affiliation or because some media source told you to. Too many people have fought and died for our right to democracy so get out there and vote! I voted last month via absentee ballot and will be glued to the TV all day.

Nov 5, 2012

From Seattleite to Southern Bell

Okay, okay...it's been way too long since I last blogged but it's been one HELL of a month! This post may or may not make any sort of sense. Mostly it's just going to be full of bitching and moaning because nothing has gone smoothly since we started getting ready to leave Washington.

Clearing Fort Lewis was a pain in the butt. For my fellow Army spouses, I'm sure you know the hell that is CIF. For you non-military folks, CIF is the place that issues gear to soldiers. Mike has hundreds of pounds of gear that he's collected throughout his 9 year career in the Army. When we left Fort Drum he was required to scrub oil stains from his Gortex suit, even though it was the old desert print which was no longer used and would never be issued to another soldier. I thought THAT was bad but this time was much worse.  Mike had a couple old brown flight suits that he wore his first tour in Iraq in 2005-2006. They were disgusting when he got back and Fort Drum's CIF didn't ask for them when he cleared so he got rid of them. Guess what JBLM wanted when he cleared? Those damn flight suits. Seriously?! Luckily he found some at a surplus store for $100 (that we had to pay for) so he could get signed off on that. Then there was his sleeping bag that "didn't smell clean" even though he had just washed it. The CIF lady told him that it couldn't be clean because it didn't smell like anything. He explained to her that we didn't use scented laundry soap or fabric softener in our house and he said she looked at him, "Like I had a dick growing out of my forehead." Ha! My husband. He brought that sleeping bag home and doused it with some Febreeze he had found in the glove box. When he took it back to CIF the next day it was a different person and they didn't even try to smell it. ::head desk::

The movers came and packed up our stuff and all along we had planned to have a cleaning team come in so that we didn't have to clean ourselves--I was only five weeks post partum and caring for a newborn and let's face it, men just don't clean as well. For those not familiar with the process of clearing military housing, it's pretty tedious. Window tracks, refrigerator seals, baseboards, you name it. It's a LOT of work. Weeeelll, we met the cleaning lady, she looked at our house, gave us a quote and told us she'd see us on moving day. Guess who didn't show up until late in the afternoon on the day before we were supposed to clear? Guess who DID spend all afternoon, evening and the next morning cleaning for our inspection at noon? Guess who passed with flying colors thanks to some elbow grease and team work? We were FINALLY on our way, thrilled to be done with JBLM and sad to be leaving the Pacific Northwest and my brother's family behind us.

We stopped in Eugene, OR for a couple days so that Mike's grandma could meet Hazel before we moved across the country. It was about a five hour drive so it was a good test run of how the longer days would go with Hazel and the pets.  We went to the Farmer's Market (which is huge and amazingly awesome!) ate some Voodoo Doughnuts, watched football and just hung out with family.







The first day we made it from Eugene to the UT/ID border.


Somewhere in Utah...

My dog is a freak...


It was a beautiful time of  year to drive across America.





Each day got progressively worse for my poor baby. She was so tired of being in the car so we were so glad when  stopped off for a week in Missouri to see my parents and to stretch our legs for more than a few hours at a time. While we were there my dad showed Mike how to shoot a bow, took him fishing and turkey hunting. I was beginning to wonder what happened to my city boy!

It was in Missouri that we saw Hazel smile on purpose for the first time. <3







Zero was so happy to have freedom!

From Missouri we went to Tennessee, to my sister's house, where Hazel got to meet more cousins!

I wonder how many of my readers remember when I flew to my sister's last October to help her after the birth of my niece, Charlotte? Well guess who's already one!


My oldest niece, Gabrielle, is the same age I was when she was born.






From Tennessee we drove to Alabama where we started a new chapter in our lives, which had a very rocky start unfortunately. When Mike got orders to Fort Rucker we decided that we wanted to live on post, especially since the waiting list was so short. About a month before Mike's report date we got an e-mail saying that we had been pre-assigned a house and it would be waiting for us when we arrived. As you can imagine, we were relieved! We would be able to move in right away and would have a yard for our dogs. 

On the day that we were to sign for the house I stayed at the hotel with the fur-kids and Hazel while Mike went with the housing lady to look at the house and sign for it. Later that evening Mike took me to the house so we could look at it together. The first thing I noticed when he opened the door was a strange smell but I just chalked it up to being shut up for weeks. Surely the smell would go away once we aired out the house, right?  The house was supposed to be renovated but the only updates I saw were silver doorknobs and new linoleum floors. The counter tops in the kitchen were blue, the appliances were old, the rooms were insanely small (our furniture wouldn't even fit in the master bedroom) the bathrooms were floor to ceiling powder blue tiles, the laundry room was outside and not air conditioned (in 110 degree summers? No thanks...)  and that smell that my nose caught as soon as I walked in? Pet urine. I couldn't believe that after almost nine years of serving his country it was all he qualified for here.
 
Mike and I love a good challenge so we decided to make the best out of the situation. I covered the ugly blue counter tops in contact paper and we bought a steam cleaner for the carpets. Unfortunately the steam cleaning made the smell even worse and we decided to complain to the housing office when they opened back up on Monday. Throughout the weekend we discovered several other issues with the house. Years of humidity had caused the windows to become foggy between the double panes--so foggy we couldn't even see through them to see the beautiful blue skies and sunshine. The toilet in the second bathroom broke after the first time we used it--it was held together with electrical tape. The ice machine in the freezer didn't work. The master bathroom was so small that I had to squish my legs together while on the toilet if I wanted to get to the toilet paper. The tiles in the bathroom were absolutely filthy. And the smell? It was absolutely disgusting. I sprayed with vinegar and essential oils, I steamed cleaned, I kept the windows open despite the extreme heat and humidity. We hadn't had our household goods delivered yet and I wasn't about to lay Hazel on the floor, even with a blanket. It was hell. 

On Monday, maintenance came by to measure for new floors and told me it would be at least three weeks before they could replace them. Mike came home, I handed him a screaming baby and I just started to cry. The stress of the move, the disappointment in the house and living in filthy, smelly surroundings had finally gotten to me. We'd lived in old housing before, that wasn't the problem. The problem was the filth, especially now that we have a baby. After I calmed down Mike went up to the housing office and told them how unacceptable the house was, how it just kept getting worse and worse the longer we were in it. He explained that the house should have never been shown, let alone lived in, in the state that it was in and requested a new house. We were offered another house in the same neighborhood but I didn't even want to look at it--I was afraid it would be just as bad or worse. They told us that because we only had one child we didn't qualify for new housing so they gave us the option of breaking our lease and moving off post, which we took gladly. The only problem was that we had two days to find a new place and get out of the old one so I stayed up late trying to find places to look at online. Thank GOD that Mike's unit was understanding throughout all of this and gave him the time off work to get it all situated. 

We ended up finding a nice town home,  about five minutes outside the gate, with a huge back yard for the girls and in a community of primarily military families. It's got a small community center with a workout room, tennis courts and a pool. The pool will get a lot of use next summer by Hazel and I, I'm sure! We've spent the past two weeks  trying to get unpacked and for the most part we are settled. I had Hazel's cloth diapers unpacked that first night! :) We've already had visitors too--my mom and dad and Mike's brother and his girlfriend. The house is finally starting to feel like home! Now if only Alabama would start to feel like home, too. Can you say culture shock? Seriously. The closest Costco is 75 miles away and Target is 25 miles! Thank God for Amazon Prime! I hope we're not miserable here for the next two years...