Free Stability Ball

I just wanted to share this really quick for the other mamas who are going for a natural delivery. Even if you're not, it's a good asset during pregnancy to help with pelvic pain. <3 Thank to Hip2Save for sharing this awesome deal!

http://hip2save.com/2012/04/29/sears-fitstudio-hot-free-stability-ball-12-99-value/

24 Weeks

 How big is baby? The size of a grapefruit.
Symptoms: Thirst, peeing, tender abodomen, stretch marks on breasts, stuffy nose, fatigue
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +16
Maternity Clothes: Yup. I need more. Just waiting for the weather to warm up so I can buy cute, flowy dresses!
Sleep: Much better. I'm currently sleeping with two body pillows and a few other regular pillows. It might also have to do with the fact that I've had a bed to myself for a week and a half. That will all end when Mike gets home in a few days.
Best Moment This Week: VIABILITY day and Operation Homefront Baby Shower
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots! I love it.
Food Cravings: Chips and dip.
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? It's so shallow that it's barely there anymore. I wonder if it will pop out.
 What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery and starting to buy the little things we still need.
Next Appointment: 11 May
Milestones: VIABILITY!!!

So this weekend has been full of some pretty fun stuff for me so far. Friday was an amazing day because I knew that it meant we had reached viability. If for some reason this little girl comes out of me earlier than expected she will now at least have a fighting chance of survival. Sure, she'd need a lot of help and would spend a lot of time in the NICU but she'd have a shot at least and that is a huge relief.

Last night I went over to Mike's commander's house for a little get together. All our husbands are away training right now so the commander's wife thought it'd be a good  time to get the ladies together to celebrate the babies to be born in our troop. There were four of us who showed up. One due next month and the other three of us in August. Three were expecting girls and just one was expecting a baby boy. 

Delta Troop Mamas

The sun was actually shining today so Zero and I went for a little walk around the parade field. I can't handle both dogs at once right now.

Today I had the awesome experience of going to a baby shower hosted by Operation Homefront of Washington. There were 150+ mamas at this event--talk about a lot of estrogen! The organization got donations from various businesses, churches, etc. and was able to put on this great shower for us! There were strollers, diapers, car seats, bouncers, clothing, bassinets, furniture--you name it! We ate lunch and played bingo, they had a guest speaker and raffle prizes. It was a great time and there was so much generosity and love for our military families.

Everyone got a reusable grocery bag with a comfy robe for the hospital, some peppermint patties, disposable diapers (which I will be re-gifting) a coupon booklet for things to do in the area and a few gender gently used specific outfits. I ended up winning a high chair (score!) and at the end of the event they had tables we could go through and pick whatever we want. I ended up picking up some newborn disposable diapers (to get through the meconium phase) a Skip Hop diaper bag and a bunch of various books. Some are breastfeeding and motherhood books and the others are children's books. I made it to my car in two trips--one to carry the high chair and the other to carry the rest of my loot. Some women were having to strap bassinets to the roofs of cars because their trunks were so full. It was insane! I still can't believe the generosity! I don't know how the other women felt (some of them were very gift grabby) but I know that I really appreciated having someone do this for me. I will not be having a baby shower since most of my family is on the other side of the country and I don't have many close friends here so this event was very, very much appreciated by me! I'm going to go write them a thank you card right now....

The "Arrogance" of IVF and My Spiritual Turmoil

I come from a big Catholic family and I've always identified myself as Catholic.  It's been a huge part of my life: I was born and raised a Catholic. I was baptized, received my First Communion, Confirmation, attended CCD and went to Mass every weekend with my parents up until I left for college. I would be lying if I said all these things were my choice.  My parents are old school Catholics, the type who attend Mass out of obligation, and the same was expected of me. I was 16 or 17 before I was allowed to even step foot in another church. At some point in high school I began to question my faith. You see, I went to high school in a very small, conservative town in rural Missouri. I don't remember going to school with one single African American or Hispanic kid. Homosexuality was not accepted and I can remember getting in some pretty heated verbal arguments with the homophobic boys I went to school with, one of them a preacher's kid. He was probably the biggest bigot of them all. Ironic, isn't it? Going to church became something that I resented. A lot. The only time I felt connected with God was when I went to youth group with my best friend but according to the Catholic faith I was supposed to feel that during the Eucharist. Sidebar: The priest I had in high school was actually placed in our parish due to suspected pedophilia at a former parish but that's an entirely different story.  
 
I went to a Methodist college my freshman year and only went to Mass when I went home during breaks. During the summer between my freshman and sophomore year Mike asked me to marry him (Yup, we were young!) and since he was getting ready to graduate and leave for the Army, I disenrolled from that school with the intention
of finishing my degree wherever the Army sent us (which I did, it just took a year longer than it should have.) We had hoped to be married in the Catholic church but the priest at my parents' parish refused to marry us. You see, the Catholic church requires marriage preparation classes. No big deal, right? Well it is when the groom is away at Boot Camp and AIT. Long story short, I went to a few sessions by myself and had to endure "the talk" where this 70 year old man explained to me that men needed "to release" at least once a week. It was horrible. In the end, he refused to marry Mike and I because Mike was unavailable to attend a weekend retreat due to being away with the Army. The funny thing is that he had no qualms about marrying a girl I went to H.S. with who showed up at his office several months pregnant. At least she could attend the marriage prep, damn it! Right?  (Disclaimer: I'm not judging her at all for getting pregnant--I am judging the priest's decision to marry her considering the Church's view on this issue.) Because Mike and I weren't married in the church we were "living in sin" in the eyes of the Catholic Church, despite our Christian ceremony on a quiet little beach in Virginia. Because of this, I wasn't "allowed" to partake in receiving communion during Mass. The hoops...oh the hoops.

We didn't go to any kind of church the first few years of our marriage but in the Fall of 2007 Mike decided to start attending RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) classes to become Catholic. The classes were great--we both learned a lot about Catholicism--it's funny that I learned more in those classes than I ever did growing up as a Catholic. Our priest was by far the best priest I'd ever known. Father Johnathan was actually Eastern Catholic and had received special dispensation from Rome to practice Roman Catholicism due to the lack of priests in the Armed Forces.  He was married and had two kids and I fully believe that this made him a better priest. I could respect his opinions on child rearing and marital issues since he had been through them himself, you know? During Easter weekend of 2008 Mike and I had our marriage blessed by the Church and Mike received his Sacraments. He was now a full fledged Catholic. We became very involved in the Catholic community at Fort Drum. He joined Knights of Columbus and I taught CCD and VBS.  I was a regular attendee of MCCW (Military Council of Catholic Women) even though I felt out of place most of the time.  Issues like abstinence, sex education and abortion frequently came up and I would always sit quietly in my chair, keeping my opinions to myself. You see, I'm pro-choice. That doesn't mean that I'm not pro-life. I don't want any baby to be aborted but I believe that it is a decision that should be let up to the mother, not one that should be made by a priest, congressman or any other person. (Hear that Rick Santorum? I'm talking to you...) Now that I'm pregnant I have an even harder time imagining what it'd be like to carry your rapist's child. Anyway...we stayed pretty involved in the parish right up until the time we moved to Fort Lewis.

One of the first things we did when we moved here was to look for a new church. We found one a few miles from our house but it was never really a good fit. Their Mass was different than anything we ever attended no one ever really welcomed us. I volunteered to help with VBS. Big mistake.  The summer of 2010 was the beginning of the realization that Mike and I needed real help trying to start a family. Tricare and the hospital on post were giving us some resistance in seeking treatment and I felt like I couldn't discuss our issues with anyone at church. The lady in charge of VBS had six or seven kids--how could she possibly understand what I was going through? Not to mention the Church's stance on treating infertility. As soon as I filled my commitment to VBS, Mike and I never looked back.  I went to Mass a few times on church and thought I had found a new church home; it reminded me so much of the chapel at Fort Drum. I attending MCCW a few times, where I was bombarded with questions like, "Do you have kids?" and "How many kids do you have?" Once again, I was sitting quietly in my chair and biting my tongue as the ladies discussed abortion issues and dissed President Obama (who, by the way, I proudly voted for and will vote for again in November.)

In October 2010, Mike and I began seeing the infertility clinic. I had my HSG at the end of the month and sent a mass email to the ladies of MCCW, explaining the test and asking for their prayers for good results. Whether they prayed for me or not, I'll never know, but I didn't hear anything back from a single person. It was around this time that Mike and I stopped going to church all together. It was just too hard to sit in pews with  what seemed like incredibly fertile people in a church that teaches that infertility treatments are wrong:

• Children are a gift; they are not a right. If a couple cannot achieve pregnancy naturally then God's will for them is to carry a cross that means no children of their own, except for the possibility of adoption. For some, this infertility (sometimes caused by Sexually Transmissible Diseases, contraception or abortion) becomes intolerable and so recourse to IVF is sought. Only infertile couples themselves know the extreme suffering childlessness brings, but solving their infertility with IVF is contrary to God's will (CCC 2373-2379).

Being Catholic comes with a lot of guilt. My Catholic readers know what I'm talking about. You feel guilty for missing mass, for eating meat on Fridays during Lent, for saying anything against the Church. You feel guilty if you have a snack within the hour before Mass, when you're supposed to be fasting and if you come from a big Catholic family like me, you feel guilty for turning your back on your "family's religion." I've been struggling for a long time, worried what my parents and other family members would think if I gave up Catholicism all together. Maybe not so much what they thought but how it'd make them feel. Would they feel like I was turning my back on not just the Church but them as well? In recent months, I've found myself having a very difficult time praying. I was angry at God and couldn't understand how people managed to have close, personal relationships with God. Then I realized that God didn't do anything. Why was I mad at him? I was angry with the Catholic Church, not God. Today I received an email from my big sister that said she and her husband were leaving the Church. That she'd had enough and an article about a teacher being fired from a Catholic school because of her choice to use IVF was the last straw. I was shocked but happily surprised. I was shocked because I always considered her to be a pretty devout Catholic and I was happy because it felt good to know that I wasn't alone in the feelings I'd been having for the past few years.

If you know me or have been following my blog for awhile, you probably know that I am now expecting my first baby after years of infertility, tests, procedures, surgery, etc. She was conceived through in vitro fertilization and is probably the most loved baby I have ever known, and she's not even here yet. My family wholeheartedly supported our decision to do IVF. So many people prayed for this baby and are so happy that she's coming into this world. In February 2012, the Vatican held a three day conference to discuss infertility treatments and testing. This council was obviously held by men. Men who have dedicated their lives to the service of God. Men who will never marry nor come to know the heart wrenching pain of infertility yet consider themselves to be the experts in telling their followers what to do. At the end of this conference Pope Benedict announced that couples who chose to do IVF were "arrogant for taking the place of the Creator."   That Mike and I are immoral for wanting a family and doing whatever it took to get it.  My 13 year old niece hit it on the head when she said to my sister, "But Mom, if that's the only way you can have a baby, why is that wrong?"

Various other articles echo the Pope's thoughts; that IVF babies are viewed a "product" rather than a child conceived out of love, in the conjugal act of marriage. That embryos are easily discarded and can be bought and sold on a whim. The Church's stance against IVF was nothing new to me but seeing the Pope, the leader of my church, say those things about IVF babies, about my baby...It hurt.  You might be wondering, "Why don't they just keep their method of conception to themselves? Is it that big of a deal?"  How could I possibly raise my daughter in a church that teaches her creation was wrong, that she was not a product of love? After Mike and I talked about it at great length, we decided that we can't. This was the last straw. Up until now I was able to agree to disagree with the Church regarding the issues of birth control, homosexuality, priests and marriage, etc. etc. etc. but when it comes to the precious miracle growing inside my belly, I can't just ignore my feelings any longer. Mike and I are leaving the Church.

I don't know where we'll end up and even though it's scary leaving this 'Catholic identity' behind, I feel liberated in a way.  It is important to me to teach our little girl something about God so that she can make an informed choice later in life as to whether or not she wants to pursue a spiritual/religious life. I'd like to have her baptized but I'm not sure what we'll do. Maybe just a baby dedication ceremony? I have no clue. Maybe we'll end up at an Episcopalian or Lutheran church close to our roots. All I know is that we are on the hunt for a new church. One that will be accepting of Mike and I, with all our tattoos and piercings, our views on politics and social issues and especially of the baby growing inside me. Wish us luck.

Wordless Wednesday

Taken from the RESOLVE website:
http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/myths-and-facts.html

Myths and Facts About Infertility

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.
Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.
Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.
Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!
Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.
Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.
Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.
Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!
Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.
Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.
Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!
Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.
Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.
Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.
Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!
Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.
Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.
Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.
Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.
Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.
Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.
A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.
Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.
Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!
Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

National Infertility Awareness Week

Today begins National Infertility Awareness Week. This year I am posting from the other side of infertility but I still remember those who are still longing for their miracle. Please educate yourselves. Sometimes "helpful" advice can cause enormous amounts of pain. "Just Relax!" "Stop trying so hard!" "Don't worry; you're young!" "Maybe it's a sign that you're not meant to be a parent." (Oh yes but that crackhead deserved a baby, sure...) Yeah......heard them all. It just goes to show that education is KEY when it comes to spreading awareness of the horrible disease called infertility. Yup, it's a disease even though people like to think we can just "relax" or "vacation" it away. If you are feeling up to it, please consider using your status updates this week to help spread awareness for infertility. Who knows, maybe one of your friends is suffering in silence and you will give her the courage to seek out the help she needs. If you have no personal experience with infertility be sure to check out this article so that you can be sure to say the RIGHT thing to someone struggling with IF. 

The 10 Worst Things to Say to Someone TTC 

Breastfeeding Twins Q&A

Last week I did a Breastfeeding Q&A with my friend who has a six week old baby boy and has had a very successful breastfeeding relationship so far.  My hopes and purpose for the Q&A was that it would help educate women who may be on the fence about breastfeeding and to encourage mommies who may be having difficult in their own breastfeeding journey.  I received a couple comments from pregnant twin mommies who were wondering about aspects of nursing two babies. I immediately thought of a woman from my local Natural Mamas group who was recently blessed with a set of twins. She and I actually had similarly negative experiences with the infertility clinic on post and went on to use the same RE for our IVF cycles. Again, the questions I asked are some of my own and some of them stem from debates and discussions I've observed through lurking on various forums.  I hope all of you moms of multiples out there will be encouraged by this twin mama's breastfeeding journey! It's a rocky road but it is possible to successfully breastfeed twins. Thank you so much for your help, Dasie!

Why did you want to breastfeed?
 I originally wanted to breast feed because it seemed like the most natural thing to do. I had always heard "breast is best," so I started researching when I found out I was pregnant. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed because I was having twins. Through my research I discovered many women have been able to exclusively breastfeed their twins with no issues. I decided I was set on doing it until the babies weaned themselves.


Were you exposed to breastfeeding as a child? Was it considered "the norm" in you family culture?
Yes, breastfeeding was the norm for my family. Everyone breastfed, with the exception of my one aunt. She had medical reasons that she could not breastfeed her babies.

What did you do to prepare for breastfeeding?
I honestly didn't do much to prepare for breastfeeding. I talked to my mom about it since she had breast fed me and my brother, researched online about how best to breastfeed twins, and just talked to other mama's that I knew breast fed their babies. Other than that, the only thing I did, as suggested by my mom was to play with, tug on, and otherwise "toughen up" my nipples so they wouldn't be so sore in the beginning.

Does it really come naturally?
For me, breast feeding definitely has NOT come naturally. It is something I have worked at, struggled with, and cried over since the beginning. I am still struggling with it at 2 months in. But, it's all worth the struggle in the end to see my two little babies happy and satisfied.

What did the first latch feel like?
The first latch is really hard to explain. I was still kind of in shock from having the twins. It felt amazing, and natural (the only time breastfeeding has felt that way). It was such a once in a lifetime experience seeing my two little ones looking up at me trying to figure me out.

Did your nurses try to push formula on you in the hospital?
I truly feel like one nurse in particular pushed it on me big time. It was a night nurse I had that did the 36 hour post birth weight. She told me the babies had lost too much weight and that I needed to give them formula to supplement. I knew that giving formula would hurt my chances of being successful at EBFing, so instead I asked her to check my latch and help me that way. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. She said that she "couldn't do that." and walked out of the room. 3 hours later, she comes back in, waking me and the babies telling me that I needed to give them formula or the babies wouldn't be allowed to leave. Of course, I broke down and gave them formula. The other nurses were nothing like this one nurse, and were in fact very supportive of me breastfeeding the babies.

My baby was screaming from hunger before my milk came in. Shouldn't I give him formula?
This one is a tough one, and I really think it is your personal decision. I came across this very situation, and I ended up giving formula. It took 8 days for my milk to come in, and the babies were just so hungry. I would give them formula through a very thin tube attached to my nipple with a syringe on the end. It helped give me the nipple stimulation I needed to establish a supply while giving them the food they needed.

What do you have against formula? It seems so much easier!
I have nothing against formula, I still give formula to my kids, but I don't think formula is easier than breast feeding. When you breastfeed all you have to do is "whip out the boob" and Voila, you're feeding your baby. This because a life saver in the middle of the night. I honestly don't know how someone would only bottle feed twins. Between the cleaning, sterilizing, heating up formula, feeding, I don't think there would be extra time left for me to relax. This all doesn't even include the cost of so many bottles and all that formula!

How long did it take for your milk to come in?
It took my milk 8 days to come in, and honestly about 10 days before I was "full" of milk. I was induced and on lasix and a bunch of other meds for pre-eclampsia, so that didn't help my milk coming in at all.

Did you see a lactation specialist in the hospital?
Yes, I saw a LC in the hospital. The one I saw was not very helpful at all. In fact, she kept pushing formula on me, but that is NOT the norm for an LC. LC's are a very valuable resource and can make or break a breastfeeding relationship.

How often do you have to feed your babies? I heard formula babies sleep longer.
In the beginning, I fed the babies every 2 hours like clockwork around the clock. Now at 2 months, they eat about every 2-3 hours during the day, and 2-3 times at night. I can say, from experience, that formula does not make them sleep longer. They still wake at the same intervals no matter what.

How do you know your baby is getting enough milk?
I know they're getting enough because they are happy and content after nursing. Babies always let you know when they are hungry.

How do you keep your supply up with twins?
Since your milk supply is based on supply and demand, I just make sure I am putting the babies to the breast very frequently. I have an underlying medical condition that causes me to have low supply, so I take a 3 capsules of fenugreek 5 times a day. I also eat a healthy diet with plenty of oatmeal and brewers yeast in it. Tandem feeding also helps keep up supply because you are being stimulated at the same time which causes a more effective let down.

Do you pump?
For the first 4 weeks I pumped, but then I stopped. Pumping didn't work for me. I couldn't let down for the pump, and all it did is hurt. I pumped in the beginning after every feeding for 10 minutes to help establish a better supply.

Has there ever been a moment where you just want to give up?
I want to give up about 2-3 times a week! Breastfeeding for me is really hard. It's not hard because I have twins or it's inconvenient, but because my medical issues make me have a lower supply. I keep on with it though, making and reaching small goals for myself. First goal was 2 weeks, then 4, then 6, now every month I give myself a pat on the back. I am hoping and praying I can make it to 6 months. Again, this is all because of my medical condition. Very few women have an actual issue with their supply.

Are your breasts sore all the time?
Honestly, my breasts have only been sore one time that I can remember. They were sore that one time because I wasn't making sure the babies were latched properly.

Do you wake up leaking?
Sometimes I wake up leaking and some times I don't. It is never that much though.

 How do you feel about nursing in public? Do you nurse in public?
I love nursing in public. I am always discreet about it, and usually do it in a carrier. I think it is good for people to see a woman nursing her baby. The more people see it, the more culturally acceptable BFing will become.

Breastfeeding is a natural thing. Why do I need to "prepare" for it?
I am really big in to education and informing yourself about options and tips and tricks related to breast feeding. There is a lot that you don't "naturally" know, and a lot of problems that you can run in to. Breast feeding may be natural process, but it is not by any means easy to do.

Do you think it's possible to be successful if you don't prepare?
I do believe it is possible to be successful if you don't prepare, but I think you are less likely to be successful. It is about the will power of the individual. I could have given up a million and a half times, but I haven't. That fact, and that alone, is why I have been successful.

Where do your babies sleep?
For convenience, the babies sleep in a pack 'n play in the living room. We have a changing station and my breastfeeding station set up there. I tandem feed through the night, so it was the easiest way for that to happen.

How does your husband feel about breastfeeding?
My husband is very supportive of my breastfeeding. Honestly, without his support, I probably would not be breastfeeding as much as I do now. He is still a little wary of me nursing in public, but still supports it. Support is so much more important than you expect it to be when breast feeding.

But aren't breasts sexual?
Breasts are sexual, and then again they are not. Breasts are sexual when it's "mommy & daddy time" but not when I am feeding my children. When I was pregnant, I thought it might be hard to feel the difference between the two, but now it really isn't at all.

My own 2 cents:
I know a lot of twin moms will come across so much negativity when expressing their wishes for breastfeeding. DON'T LISTEN!! If you want to BF your twins, then you can. Educate yourselves and don't fall prey to all the anti-BFing propaganda out there. I would highly suggest investing in a twin breast feeding pillow like "My brestfriend". It would be impossible for me to tandem feed without it. I would also start tandem feeding early on, at the hospital. There will never be a time where you have as much help as you do in the hospital. Make those nurses work for you!

Breasfeeding a Newborn

If you can't tell yet, I've been reading a lot of things about breastfeeding in the hopes that I'm setting myself up for sucess. I came across this article on The Leaky Boob a few days ago and it was one of the best things I've read so far. I was almost tearing up, thinking about the anticipation of breastfeeding my precious baby girl. For those of you who are pregnant and planning to breastfeed, please let me know how this article affected you!

http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

Baby Explains- Normal Newborn Behavior

August 18, 2011 By theleakyb@@b 154 Comments

By Diana Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC 


Dear Mommy,
Thank you so much for breastfeeding me!  You probably already know that your milk is designed especially for me, and is better than anything else you could feed me.
I know that right now, you feel like your friends who aren’t breastfeeding their babies seem to have an easier time of things.  Those other babies sleep soundly and longer between feedings, they drink so much, and they don’t fuss to eat all the time like I do!  I can tell you’re getting a little bit frustrated, and I hear all the advice you’re getting … my grandma says you weren’t breastfed and you turned out just fine, my daddy says he feels like he can’t do anything to soothe me, and that lady with the cold hands that you call “doctor” gave you a can of something that she says will help me grow faster.  You’re tired and frustrated because taking care of me just seems too hard, but please mommy, before you give up this yummy breastfeeding thing, let me explain some of my behavior to you.  It might help you feel better.

First, if you and I were separated after I was born, for any reason (maybe it was hospital protocol that I be left under a warmer, maybe you were recovering from surgery), I’ve got some catching up to do, because I probably lost more weight than my friends who got to stay close to their mommies.  It’s OK … I’m really good at letting you know when I need some more calories, but it’s important that you let me breastfeed lots and lots, even if my grandma says “he just ate!!”  In my first few days, the nurses at the hospital might tell you I’m hungry and your body can’t make enough milk for me … but mommy, that colostrum from your breasts is some awesome stuff!  It’s packed with protein, which binds to any bilirubin in my body (elevated bilirubin causes jaundice in more than half of newborns) so I can poop it on out.  It’s also a great laxative, which makes it easy for me to get all that black, tarry meconium out of me and we can move on to the seedy, yellow-brown poops that are much easier to clean off my sweet tushie.  Now, the colostrum is really thick and sticky, and I’m so small and still figuring out how to move my tongue, and we’re both still trying to get comfortable together, so it might take me 20 minutes or longer to suck out just ONE TEASPOON (5-7 mL) of that liquid gold.
But it’s OK, mommy!  You know, there is really nowhere I’d rather be than in your arms, hearing your sweet voice and smelling you  — even though you haven’t had a shower since before I was born, you’re just delicious to me.  And something else you should know about me … even though I have a really cute “Buddha belly” that looks all chubby, the capacity of my stomach on the day I’m born is just 5-7 milliliters – that’s the size of a small marble!  You’re the smartest woman in my whole world, so I know you see the connection here!  The amount of colostrum in your breast is exactly the capacity of my tummy!  My stomach walls on my first day of life are very rigid and won’t stretch; this is why, if anyone tries to feed me with a bottle, I’m going to spit most of it back up again, even though I eagerly suck at it.  See, mommy, I only have two ways to send and receive information from my brand-new world – I can cry, and I can suck.  I can’t see much, and all these sounds are so much louder than when I was inside you, and I can use my hands to help me orient myself on your breast, but crying and sucking are pretty much how I make sense of everything.

From the Heart Photography - Tiffany Hileman

I know it seems really confusing, mommy, that I would want to suck and suck and suck even though my tummy is full.  When I suck, lots of great things happen for both of us.  I keep my own digestion moving by triggering the involuntary digestive muscles in peristalsis – moving the contents of my stomach along because I’m still moving my mouth and tongue, which are the beginning of my digestive tract.  When you let me do all this suckling at your breast, I can very easily regulate how I suck, depending on why I’m sucking at any given moment.  You can probably feel when I’m suckling nutritively and swallowing lots of milk, and when I’m kind of relaxed about it, feeding sort of like I’m savoring a bowl of ice cream … you know how sometimes, you scrape just a tiny bit onto your spoon, because you want it to last a long time?  To me, you’re better than ice cream!  But on a bottle, it’s impossible for me to suck and not get whatever’s in there, and that’s confusing to me, so I might keep sucking because that’s what my instinct is telling me to do, or I might realize my tummy hurts (because even on day 10, my stomach capacity is only a ping pong ball) and I’ll cry and cry because all I really know is crying and sucking!


A word about these instincts I feel … I really can’t help it, mommy, that I want to suckle so much.  It’s just how I came out, and there doesn’t seem to be much that I can do about it.  Please believe me, I’m not trying to trick you!  In a few weeks, this need lets up a tiny bit, but for now, suckling is my M.O.  But, do you want to know something really cool?  I’m not the only one who benefits!  When I suckle at your breast in these early days, your body actually activates prolactin receptors!  Isn’t that amazing?  In my first two weeks, the higher I make your prolactin levels go (my suckling triggers a prolactin surge in your body), the more of these receptors get activated in your breasts, and the higher your potential milk production will be for as long as you choose to breastfeed me.  That’s one reason your lactation consultant tells you to wait on introducing that bottle or that binky– this prolactin receptor thing only happens for the first 10-14 days.  After that, the prolatcin surges when I breastfeed are much smaller, so the more receptors there are to gobble up what prolactin is there, the more easily you’ll make all the milk I need.
Besides prolactin, there’s oxytocin, another hormone I activate when I am at your breast.  Oxytocin is part of what makes you so addicted to me!  It’s “the love hormone” and it helps you feel relaxed and content when we’re breastfeeding.  Go ahead, mommy, exhale and relax!  It’s OK!  Oxytocin release is triggered by nipple stimulation, not necessarily milk removal (though when things are going well, my stimulation of your nipples usually means I’m removing milk!).  Now, I know this might sound a little awkward coming from your baby, but I need you to know something about oxytocin.  There are only three events in your life that trigger oxytocin release: nipple stimulation (like when I’m breastfeeding), labor (the oxytocin released during childbirth stimulates uterine contractions, which is why nipple stimulation might be suggested when labor stalls, and also explains why sometimes, after you breastfeed me, you feel an increased expulsion of lochia and maybe some cramping), and … orgasm!!  Isn’t neat that the same hormone plays a part in making me, birthing me, and feeding me, and it’s a hormone that makes you feel GOOD to do all three?

Mommy, I know you are trying your very best for me and you’ve been worried about whether your body can satisfy my appetite.  I know you’re used to being able to measure everything, and your breasts don’t have markers on them to tell you how much milk I got.  Maybe you used a breast pump, and that confirmed your worries that there isn’t much milk there – but mommy, please understand that a good pump can mimic me, but your body wasn’t designed to have all these wonderful hormone surges for a cold piece of plastic with a noisy vacuum motor.  You know that feeling you get when you hold my warmth and weight, smell how delicious I am, and nom nom nom on my fat cheeks?  That feeling helps you make milk!  That feeling is part of the whole system that was designed to make you need to be close to me, just as much as I need to be close to you.  And mommy, I know you’re very busy, and important, and there’s so much you used to do before I came, and I know right now, it feels like you’ll never do those things again, and our house is getting messy, and maybe that scares you.  But please know, every moment you spend holding me, every time you gaze lovingly at me, and every hour you spend breastfeeding me in these early days is so important to me, because you’re all I know.  I love daddy and grandma and all of our friends, but I’m designed to be happiest and least stressed when I’m with you.  Can you wear me in a sling or soft carrier after I’m milk-drunk?  I really like listening to your heart beating while I sleep, and you are warm and soft and smell so good.  That space between your breasts is perfectly sized for my head, and there’s nothing I like better than the feel of your skin against mine.  Well, maybe there is something I like better … I love it when you sleep next to me after we’ve been breastfeeding.  Oh, mommy, when you nurse me while lying down, you relax and your milk flows so nicely, and I feel like you’re so happy to be with me, and I’m very special to you because you don’t have to run off and do something else as soon as I’ve let your breast go.

And mommy, I have a promise to make to you.  I can’t say for sure when it will happen, but there will come a day when I need you a little bit less intensely.  My feedings will get more organized, my weight gain will stabilize, and sometimes, I’ll even like when my daddy or grandma or other loving person holds me.  But today, I need you.  You’ll always be my number one, even after we’re done breastfeeding, but I will learn, like you did, to defer my needs and to trust others to meet them once you and I get a good thing going.  Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me so far. Until you start giving me an allowance, I hope my good health, sweet smiles, coos, and giggles will sustain you!
Love,
Baby

23 weeks

How big is baby? The size of a pomegranate or about 11.8 inches. Approximately 1.5 pounds.
Symptoms: stretch marks on my breasts, gagging, insatiable thirst, braxton hicks, acne and it's getting much harder to bend over and sit up in bed. Oh and how could I forget? Peeing all.the.time.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I was a little worried about how much I've gained since I have my appetite back thanks to Zofran but I'm officially up 16 pounds. My midwife says that's great!
Maternity Clothes: I'm going to need some new jeans soon if the weather doesn't start warming up. They're getting tight on my belly and butt!
Sleep: Insomnia still comes and goes.
Best Moment This Week: Starting the nursery and working on decorations.
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots! I love it.
Food Cravings: Today I drove past a Krispy Kreme and just HAD to have one--I haven't had one in years! Baby girl enjoyed her first (and second) Krispy Kreme. :)
Funny moment: You know that scene in The Last Crusade where the librarian is stamping the book as Indiana Jones is busting up the floor? I had a similar experience this morning involving baby kicks and artillery fire. Kick, kick...BOOM. It was pretty funny to wake up to!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? Still in but getting more and more shallow every day.
What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery, buying her crib, making it to viability.
Next Appointment: 11 May
Milestones: One week closer to viability! Starting the nursery.



Had a great midwife appointment today. The results of my a/s were perfectly normal, baby's in the 55th percentile for weight, my weight gain is on track (I was worried about it since I got Zofran and got my appetite back!) and no more placenta previa! She was really enthusiastic about my birth plan and said they already do everything on there so not to worry. She let me decline the pertussis vaccination until I'm not longer pregnant and we talked about the vit k, hep B and eye ointment. She's totally okay with me not doing them but I think we'll elect to do the vitamin K shot. I think it's probably a really good thing we're not headed for Rucker right now because I love my midwife. ♥

MIA

I've been having issues with Google Reader not showing all of the blogs that I follow so occasionally I will go to the actual blogs to see if I've missed anything. I was looking through my list today and saw that some of the blogs have actually disappeared all together. Does anyone know what happened to Pink Lip Gloss and Prenatals?

I Do Not Consent

I read this article a few days ago and was absolutely horrified. There seems to be a lot of speculation in the comments as to whether or not something like this could actually happen. As unfortunate and scary as this is, I believe something like this could absolutely happen in a hospital. The birth culture in America is so screwed up and labor, something that should be viewed as a natural process, has been twisted into this incredibly dangerous medical problem that often "require" interventions because the safety and welfare of mommy and baby are in "jeopardy."  Of course there are times where interventions are necessary and vitally important but as I research childbirth, I hear about more and more instances where interventions and other procedures are performed unnecessarily, often times against the mother's wishes.  I'm not too worried with the staff of midwives that I've chosen but I just hope and pray this doesn't happen to me.

I'm the type of person who researches the hell out of something, whether it be to plan a trip or to buy a new camera (Sidebar: Can you believe that people in this country actually spend more time doing research before buying a new electronic than they do researching childbirth? Insane!)  I was like this during infertility treatments (the doctors on post haaated me for this because I questioned everything!) and I'm like this now when it comes to pregnancy, breastfeeding and labor and delivery. I like to consider myself a well informed person and am always shocked at women who are okay with just going along with whatever their doctors say, no questions asked. I guess it has a lot to do with the horrible care I received during my infertility journey but I can't do that. My goal is for Mike and I to go into my labor armed with the knowledge to make informed decisions and not be pushed around by medical staff.

My friend, Allie, went through this with her birth team. Unfortunately, the OB on call during her labor was absolutely horrible to her and she ended up having a pretty traumatic L&D, far from the totally natural birth that she really wanted.  Allie made it all the way to 10 centimeters with no pain medications or interventions. The nurse allowed her to start pushing and when the mean OB arrived in her room she insisted that she perform a cervical check. Up to this point, Allie had not had her cervix checked for progress, she was confident that her body was doing what it should based on the way she was feeling. The OB checked Allie and hurt her so badly that she screamed in pain and the OB announced that Allie was only at a 4. Remember that minutes prior to this she had been at a 10 and was already pushing. The OB berated the nurse and basically called her a liar, right in front of Allie. In minutes, Allie's labor spiraled into something other than what she wanted and she felt like she lost control. Allie is a lot like me. She also had horrible experiences during her infertility journey and she also did a TON of research on natural childbirth. Her experience is proof that things don't always go as planned, no matter how much you prepare. I need to keep this in mind.

I read this article from The Birth Bug earlier today and I thought it was very helpful. If any of my readers are also seeking an intervention-free birth, it's something valuable to remember.





http://thebirthbug.wordpress.com/2011/05/27/i-do-not-consent/
If you are in a birthing situation and you find that your caregiver is about to do something you don’t want (e.g. an episiotomy, pulling out the forceps, putting pit in your IV, etc.), you may want to remember these four little words:

“I do not consent.”

Saying, “I’d really rather you not cut me,” or, “I don’t want a vacuum delivery if the baby is still ok,” or “Please don’t up the pit” may or may not work. However, if you say that you do not consent to a certain procedure, then the doctor or midwife cannot legally proceed wth it.
I only say this because I have heard many, many horror stories of women being on the receiving end of what in any situation other than a birth would be considered assault. Make sure you are absolutely clear with your intent and tell your caregiver if you do not consent to a procedure. I will say, however, that this phrase should probably not be taken lightly. Weigh your caregiver’s experience against your own intuition. Is your baby still ok? Are you still ok?  Find out whether the caregiver is recommending a procedure out of medical necessity, or because of convenience or a hospital policy.
If nothing else, you can always say, “Wait. I do not consent yet.” Go on to ask these four questions:
1) Is this an emergency? (If no, move on.)
2) What are the benefits of this procedure?
3) What are the risks of this procedure?
4) What happens if we do nothing?
Remember that it is never, ever too late- even in the middle of labor- to change your caregiver or birth site. If a nurse is trying to do something you do  not want, request a different one. If you are home with a midwife who has suddenly turned sour on you, it’s okay to leave and go to the hospital. If you are at the hospital and there is no acceptable caregiver, it is okay to leave the delivery room and drive to the next hospital. Again, these actions should be taken only with real cause, not at the drop of a hat.
Remember, it is YOUR birth. Yes, doctors and midwives are trained for birth. But sometimes procedures, liability issues, and yes, even sometimes the convenience of the caregiver can get in the way of letting your body do what it does best. You should always be treated with respect and dignity. Remember, with careful consideration, it is okay to utter those four words: “I do not consent.”

Fabric Pom Poms

I've been nesting since I found out that we're not moving. I've been so inspired (Yay for Pinterest!) to make my own nursery decorations. I decided to give  these Fabric Pom Poms a try. They're so cute and CHEAP to make!  It's definitely a learning process and they look nicer with each one I make. I ran out of fabric on my first one so the two sides ended up being different fabrics (Fail.) and I also placed the fabric too far apart (Another Fail.) You'll see what I'm talking about....

My little helpers. Quidditch and Figaro

Supplies needed:
Hot glue gun
Scissors
Fabric scraps
Styrofoam ball or newspapers and tape
Fishing line or ribbon

• Step One:  Find or make a ball shaped base. You can use a Styrofoam ball or you can use old newspapers, crumple them into a ball shape and cover the entire ball with packing tape, saving even more money.  This is what I did.You can make the ball as big or as small as you want to.

• Step Two:  Tie fishing line or ribbon around the ball. I suppose you could add this at the end but I think it helps support the ball's weight if you tie it around the entire shape. I didn't take a picture of this step but all I did was tie it around the ball and secure it it in place with some hot glue.
  
• Step Three: Cut your fabric circles. You will need a LOT of these and it's better to overestimate so that you have enough to cover the entire ball. I was using scraps so it's hard to estimate the exact yardage that I was using. I used the roll of packing tape as my stencil and it seemed to be a good size for the circles.
  
  
• Step Four: Start gluing and placing your circles onto the ball. Fold the circle in half and then in half again so it's wedge shaped. Add a dab of glue along the open edged to keep them together. Then add more glue to the point of the wedge and stick it on the ball. Continue to add them, placing them close together, all over the ball.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  With a little bit of patience (this step takes a LONG time!) you will eventually end up with something like this:
  
  

  

  My first attempt. I ran out of fabric so the other side looks completely different. FAIL.
  
  

  

  My third attempt. MUCH better and I think it looks cuter when the fabric is mushed closer together.
  
  
  

I can't wait to see how they look hanging in the baby's room! :)

Wordless Wednesday

Breastfeeding Guest Post: Part 3

Here is the conclusion to my breastfeeding guest post. You can see Part 1 and Part 2 here. A HUGE thank you to my friend from Allie at Project Open Hearts for helping me out with this. My blog has had a lot of traffic in the past few days and I hope her experience and success helps too encourage other moms too! I have had a few comments from twin moms comment that they hope to breastfeed their babies and would love some similar information on that. I've actually found an IVF twin mom (we went to the same RE!) who was nice enough to share her breastfeeding experience with me. I'll be posting that in the next few days!

• How long did it take for your milk to come in? 

By the second day, I was sure my milk was in. 

• Did you see a lactation specialist in the hospital?

Yes!  She was amazing.  She really explained things very well and was VERY encouraging.  I highly recommend it. There was also this amazing nurse who helped us check out and she spent almost 2 hours helping me too.  When they really know what they're doing and they are happy to help, it makes a huge difference. 

• How many times do you have to feed him? I heard formula babies sleep longer through the night.

Pretty much since he was born, he eats every 1 to 4 hours around the clock.  At 5 1/2 weeks old, he usually cluster feeds between 6-10pm and then sleeps from around 10pm to 12am-2am and then wakes up again between 4-6am. (and continues this few hours awake and few hours sleeping throughout the day)    I have heard that formula fed babies sleep longer too, but I don't mind the interruption in the middle of the night.  I get more snuggles and I have time to start a load of laundry or get diaper laundry done because it takes a couple hours in between each step,  And for me, I have had insomnia and had to wake up to pee since I was about 8 weeks pregnant... so it's actually an improvement to only get up once or twice.  

 

Middle of the night feedings are the quiet time where it's just me and him, and as tired as I am, I still don't mind waking him to this little face.

• How do you know he's getting enough milk?

Look at his diaper output. Check out Kellymom.com for information on this.  http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/enough-milk/

• Emotional aspects of BFing

I have already written a little bit about our struggle with infertility, but this plays a big role in breast feeding too and how I feel about it emotionally.  I longed for my whole life to be a mom and for years while we tried unsuccessfully, I longed to be a mom.  I yearned to be the one my child ran to and needed for comfort.  I prayed to be needed.  In the books that I read about breastfeeding, they explained the way the oxytocin is released during each nursing session and how breastfeeding can help to ward off post partum depression.  I had already spent so many years so sad that I was looking forward to this "safe guard" against depression.

For me, breastfeeding is the ultimate.  It's getting to be 100% mom, 100% of the time.  I feed him 24 hours a day and when he cries, I can calm him in seconds with nursing him.  It's amazing and fantastic and nothing that I can imagine could make me feel more needed by him.  This type of emotional high is something that I dreamed motherhood would be like.  As much as it probably bothers Jack that there are times that he can't get Arie to calm down or stop crying, it makes my heart overflow to be able to hold him close and have him feel instantly calm and secure and safe.  I have nothing to compare it to obviously, and I have no perspective of what a formula feeding mom experiences like this so I have no idea if it's the same, but that is what I personally get out of breastfeeding.

 I do consider it to be a big bonding experience, especially now that he makes eye contact with me while he's nursing.

• Do you pump?

No, I do not pump.  I thought I would want to so that I could donate breast milk, but I tried pumping several times and I absolutely hated it.  It's really not for me.  Plus, I'm a stay at home mom, so I have no need for a pump.  

• Has there ever been a moment when you wanted to throw in the towel and just give him formula?

No.  The amount that I educated myself about all of the amazing benefits of breast feeding far outweighed any desire that I might have to feed him formula.  I definitely do get tired and even the other night, I woke Jack up at about 3am and asked him to feed Arie.  Jack was half asleep and lifted his shirt and grabbed his breast area.  It made me laugh and Jack smiled and went back to sleep.  It can be exhausting and incredibly emotionally draining while he's cluster feeding and it seems like he won't ever fall back asleep and he's uncomfortable and you are just at your wits end because you are so tired, but even then I have never once felt even a smidgen of desire to go open the can of formula in my pantry that was sent to me against my will as a sample when someone sold my information.  

• Do you think you would have such a strong bond with your baby if you were bottle feeding? 

I have absolutely no way to compare, since Arie has never taken a bottle of expressed breast milk or formula.  I would assume not since part of the connection is that my body is still physically sustaining him, but I can't say for sure. 

• How does it make you feel to know that your breasts are sustaining life? 

Kinda like a super hero.  I'm serious, I remember when I discovered that my boobs were leaking when I was pregnant and I felt like I should have a cape.  My boobs work, I thought to myself! How exciting!  It's pretty amazing to experience, especially since I believe that God designed my body to work like this, it's just amazing to see creation working like it does.  

• Are your breasts sore all the time? 

No, not at all.  When my milk "came in" and my breasts started really producing a lot more volume of milk, my boobs were sore, but not too bad.  I nursed Arie as much as he wanted to and it was not even 24 hours of sore breasts.  Occasionally, my breasts will tingle and be a little sore and hard if Arie takes a slightly longer nap than usual or a couple hours after he has finished cluster feeding, but it is really not hard to handle or even something that I would consider taking anything for.  

• Do you wake up leaking? 

Yup!  And when I get out of the shower, I leak.  I made some handmade breast pads but I have found the disposable ones are a bit more absorbent.  I sleep with a nursing tank top on and breast pads in the cups and that keeps me from waking up soaking wet.  Especially because I sleep with Arie next to me, I wake up with him rooting and that makes breast milk let down.

• Do you nurse in public? How do you feel about nursing in public?

Yup. I will feed my baby when ever he is hungry, where ever I am.  I have mostly nursed in my truck before we walk into a store or something.  I will sit in the back seat next to his car seat.  I have nursed in the pediatrician's office, during his one month check up.  The doctor had finished his exam so I sat there and nursed him and chatted with him through the rest of the appointment while Arie nursed.  I can't think of anywhere else off the top of my head.

I guess I don't have any specific feelings about nursing in public, as much as I would have about a baby being fed however it's fed.  It is what it is, it's a hungry baby eating.  I personally have larger breasts which makes it more difficult to be discreet while nursing in public and I think it would be very noticeable if I didn't take some measures to help myself be more discreet.  I generally wear a nursing tank top with a nursing bra (Bravado is awesome!) and that way it covers up my belly and each individual side will snap down at a time.  Then I try to wear a tshirt or a long sleeve shirt over the nursing tank so that I have something that I can lift up and it will cover the top part of my breast and the tank top will cover my belly so that only my nipple is exposed and Arie's face/head will cover the rest of what is exposed.  While out shopping with my husband, he came back to the truck and was talking to me while I was nursing Arie in the back seat and he was standing in the other door of the truck and suddenly he said that he hadn't even realized that I was nursing him.  So if my husband who constantly oggles my boobs didn't notice what I was doing, I would say I am pretty successful at being discreet. 

• Breastfeeding is supposed to be a natural thing, why do I need to "prepare" for it? 

I suppose it is more natural for some people than others.  If you had a lot of younger siblings that you were old enough to remember them being babies and growing up, and your mom nursed and you were around that, you probably don't need anywhere close to as much preparation as someone who was never exposed to it and never experienced it.  I needed to prepare for it and educate myself because I wanted to have a fully complete opinion on it about why I wanted to do it and I wanted to know exactly how it worked and what it did and why.

• Do you think success is possible with no preparation?

Like I said in the last question, definitely, IF you have been exposed and around it.  I read a lot of Amish fiction and the Amish breastfeed their babies.  If you lived in a community and family where your mom and sisters and aunts and every woman you know breastfeeds, you would be exposed to it constantly.  When you are around it that much, you will naturally pick up on the ins and outs of why and how it works and how you know it's working and you would have a lot of people around who have found their tried and true methods of troubleshooting and making it work.  While that requires no preparation on your part, since you aren't actually doing the work, you are just around it, it is still technically preparation.

There are also women out there who just choose to do it and make it work themselves even with zero support.  I think it's possible, but it will definitely be easier and less worrisome if you are educated and prepare and get knowledge about the whole process including possible issues.

• Where does your baby sleep?

We have a crib in his nursery and a pack'n'play in our bedroom next to my side of the bed.  But, Arie sleeps with us in our bed, in my arm.  I sleep on my left side and he sleeps in the crook of my arm, facing me, in between Jack and I.  

 

(Side lying nursing in bed.)

 

This is how we sleep every night.  I wasn't sleeping in this picture, but when I do go to sleep, my pillow is pushed much further back and I sleep on the very edge of it so that it's no where close to Arie's head.  Also, all the blankets that he has are his receiving blanket and my arm that goes around him blocks the quilt that Jack and I sleep under from covering him.  

 

This is how he sleeps almost every night.  For some reason he has always liked his hands in his face, and he sleeps with his hands right by his head. 

He falls back to sleep when side lying nursing in bed.

• How does your husband feel about breastfeeding?

I would have to ask him to be 100% sure, but I am pretty sure that he felt the same way about breastfeeding as I did in the beginning.  It's free/super cheap, so definitely that's the choice for us.  Once I became more educated and started reading to him the information that I found about it, both of us came to a unanimous decision that breastfeeding was absolutely what we wanted to pursue.  Both of us have pretty "traditional" views on gender roles and he looks at breastfeeding as an extension of motherhood and mothering and that feeding him is my "job" or "role" if that makes sense.  He really doesn't feel the need to share that bonding part with me and it makes him happy to see me doing it.  Plus, Jack really enjoys that my boobs are out almost all the time... like I said, my husband likes to oogle.

 I hear a lot of women say that they think their husband will want to feed their baby too or that they would like help with the feedings.  For me, 24/7, even though I have to feed him, I can always tag Jack in and let him burp Arie and I can go back to sleep.  Whenever Jack is home, he spends a lot of time burping Arie after I feed him.   

• Have you ever had sore, cracked nipples?

Sore, absolutely.  Red and really really sore, definitely.  But not cracked.  We cemented what a correct latch feels like with the LC at the hospital and using lanolin a lot during the first few weeks between each feeding REALLY helped with my sore nipples.  

• But aren't breast sexual? 

Yes and no.  To be perfectly clear, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding your child.  It feels good emotionally and physically there is a connection with your baby, but there is nothing sexual in nature about it, for me.

It does bother me when Jack gets all happy about seeing my boobs all the time.  I like that my husband is attracted to me, but I have to remind him not to make comments while our child is latched on.  Also, I refuse to french kiss Jack while Arie is latched.  Jack and I kiss a LOT, and we always have, so it's a bit of an adjustment to not be able to freely kiss my husband whenever I want or he wants, but I feel weird about any kind of kiss like that when Arie is latched.

Jack makes jokes about it whenever I show him how Arie takes naps hugging my boobs or I tell him how my boobs are comforting for him and that sometimes he will be screaming and then I put him to my breast to see if he wants to eat and sometimes he just wants his face by it.  Sometimes that's just what he needs and Jack will joke that sometimes that's just what Jack needs too.  Obviously he means it in a completely different way than what my baby needs.  It's really hard to explain this.

Both my husband and I do have a sense of humor about him loving and needing my boobs though.  This is Arie napping with his face pressed between my boobs.  I had to laugh.