Showing posts with label infertility awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility awareness. Show all posts
Mar 31, 2013
Apr 22, 2012
National Infertility Awareness Week
Today begins National Infertility Awareness Week. This year I am posting from the other side of infertility but I still remember those who are still longing for their miracle. Please educate yourselves. Sometimes "helpful" advice can cause enormous amounts of pain. "Just Relax!" "Stop trying so hard!" "Don't worry; you're young!" "Maybe it's a sign that you're not meant to be a parent." (Oh yes but that crackhead deserved a baby, sure...) Yeah......heard them all.If you have no personal experience with infertility be sure to check out this article so that you can be sure to say the RIGHT thing to someone struggling with IF.
The 10 Worst Things to Say to Someone TTC
Oct 18, 2011
The Truth About Trying
I was so excited to see Megan post about Redbook's new No-Shame Campaign to help promote infertility awareness. There are some really, really great videos as well as personal testimonies posted by women who are just like you and me. Normal, every day people, struggling with infertility, just like us. Be sure to check it out and share! There is no shame in infertility.It is SO important to educate our friends and family about infertility and its devastating effects!
e
Sep 10, 2011
Boy? Girl? How About a Healthy Baby!
I recently read an article that said Chad Ochocinco and his fiance plan to do IVF after their married. What's their infertility diagnosis? There isn't one! They want to do in vitro so that they can conceive twin boys--and they actually found a doctor willing to do it for that reason! I guess money really does buy you anything.
The 35-year-old Evelyn says her reasons for wanting to do IVF have nothing to do with infertility. "You don’t have to necessarily have problems getting pregnant, sometimes people do in vitro just to make sure that they get the sex that they want to get," she says. "I don’t have any fertility issues. The doctor gave me a thorough check up and said everything was fine. But it's more to make sure that I'm guaranteed a boy."
Evelyn says IVF is the norm in Hollywood. "I highly doubt that J.Lo and Mariah Carey just had twins and that everybody's having twins out of nowhere," she says. "C'mon, everybody does that now. It's common in this world."
"We told the doctor we would love to have twin boys — or at least make sure that we have a boy," she says, "and he was like, 'Hey, no problem!' {Laughs}
Does anyone else see an issue with this?
#1 They're not infertile. They have no real medical need for in vitro fertilization. Remember my blog about people who take away valuable appointment time from real infertile couples? Although, I'm sure it doesn't matter with the amount of money that you most likely have to pay to be seen at their clinic.
#2 They ONLY want twin boys. Not one boy. Not a boy and a girl. Just boys.
#3 The doctor's motto must be, "Show me the money!"
#4 This lady seriously belongs on the Gender Selection boards on Baby Gaga . Fellow Bumpies understand why.
First of all, who the hell is this woman? If she was on Basketball Wives then why is she engaged to a NFL player? Secondly, she makes IVF sound like a walk in the park. Either she really is an idiot or her infertility clinic ran out of informational brochures. I'm guess it's the first one.
From what I understand, gender selection isn't all that easy either. There is a process that allows doctors to separate male and female sperm but more often a technology called PGD is used. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis is a controversial procedure that allows embryos to be tested for certain genetic disorders prior to being placed back in the uterus. This procedure also allows doctors to test the embryos' gender identity. This test is controversial because embryos that test positive for genetic disorders are not transferred, but rather destroyed. In the case of Ochocinco, embryos would not be discarded because of serious, life-threatening illnesses, but simply because of their gender. I know it's not my place to judge but this is so wrong. What ever happened to wishing for a healthy baby, regardless of gender selection?
I hate that these people are essentially able to afford countless IVF cycles and we will have to scrimp and save for months just to afford one. I leave you with these thoughts.... I effing HATE infertility and celebrities are self-righteous assholes. The end.
The 35-year-old Evelyn says her reasons for wanting to do IVF have nothing to do with infertility. "You don’t have to necessarily have problems getting pregnant, sometimes people do in vitro just to make sure that they get the sex that they want to get," she says. "I don’t have any fertility issues. The doctor gave me a thorough check up and said everything was fine. But it's more to make sure that I'm guaranteed a boy."
Evelyn says IVF is the norm in Hollywood. "I highly doubt that J.Lo and Mariah Carey just had twins and that everybody's having twins out of nowhere," she says. "C'mon, everybody does that now. It's common in this world."
"We told the doctor we would love to have twin boys — or at least make sure that we have a boy," she says, "and he was like, 'Hey, no problem!' {Laughs}
Does anyone else see an issue with this?
#1 They're not infertile. They have no real medical need for in vitro fertilization. Remember my blog about people who take away valuable appointment time from real infertile couples? Although, I'm sure it doesn't matter with the amount of money that you most likely have to pay to be seen at their clinic.
#2 They ONLY want twin boys. Not one boy. Not a boy and a girl. Just boys.
#3 The doctor's motto must be, "Show me the money!"
#4 This lady seriously belongs on the Gender Selection boards on Baby Gaga . Fellow Bumpies understand why.
First of all, who the hell is this woman? If she was on Basketball Wives then why is she engaged to a NFL player? Secondly, she makes IVF sound like a walk in the park. Either she really is an idiot or her infertility clinic ran out of informational brochures. I'm guess it's the first one.
From what I understand, gender selection isn't all that easy either. There is a process that allows doctors to separate male and female sperm but more often a technology called PGD is used. Preimplantation genetic diagnosis is a controversial procedure that allows embryos to be tested for certain genetic disorders prior to being placed back in the uterus. This procedure also allows doctors to test the embryos' gender identity. This test is controversial because embryos that test positive for genetic disorders are not transferred, but rather destroyed. In the case of Ochocinco, embryos would not be discarded because of serious, life-threatening illnesses, but simply because of their gender. I know it's not my place to judge but this is so wrong. What ever happened to wishing for a healthy baby, regardless of gender selection?
I hate that these people are essentially able to afford countless IVF cycles and we will have to scrimp and save for months just to afford one. I leave you with these thoughts.... I effing HATE infertility and celebrities are self-righteous assholes. The end.
Jun 21, 2011
So you're pregnant and your friend's not. Now what?
Life is like a mine field when you're infertile. You never know where a pregnancy announcement or ultrasound photo is going to take your breath away and knock your legs out from under you. You're infertile and your friend or relative is knocked up. Now what? My good e-friend, Allie, just wrote a blog that describes this situation wonderfully. **Thank you to my sister, Kris, for being so understanding and caring when you announced your pregnancy to me. I'm so glad you "get it." I am truly lucky to have someone like you in my life.**
Excerpts from Allie's blog entry. Read the entire thing here.
"Infertility is hard. Faith questioning, life changing, marriage shattering, friendship ruining, isolating, horrifyingly, miserably hard. With infertility you are poked and prodded from all angles... From your friends and family asking you when you're going to have babies, to your doctors spending more time looking at your genitalia than your spouse. It's expensive to the point that sometimes, some people with infertility are forced to make decisions like, "Do we put a down payment on a house... or pursue IVF?" Infertility changes your life."
"People who struggle with infertility really will and most do give anything and everything that they can to be pregnant and for a chance to be a parent. Someone who has spent $100,000 on infertility treatments and drugs does not want to hear a pregnant women sound ungrateful in any way. I don't know if this sounds bitter, but to me it's just logical... You don't go to an amputee who has lost both of his legs and start complaining about how annoying it is to walk everywhere and how nice it would be to just have a motorized vehicle to push them around do you? Of course not, it's callous and ignorant. That is the same as complaining to someone with infertility about your pregnancy."
"If we need space, don't assume that we are just selfish and jealous and bitter. We are broken hearted and self preserving. It doesn't feel good for other people to think these terrible things of you, on TOP of the infertility itself. Don't think negatively of us, or your friends if they or we need space. Try to think of your lowest moments, when you found out the worst news of your life and you sat down on the floor and cried inconsolably... Sometimes that's what pregnancy announcements feel like... and judging someone for their grief doesn't make sense. A lot of people make the mistake of taking our grief personally, but our grief has nothing to do with you or your pregnancy."
Excerpts from Allie's blog entry. Read the entire thing here.
"Infertility is hard. Faith questioning, life changing, marriage shattering, friendship ruining, isolating, horrifyingly, miserably hard. With infertility you are poked and prodded from all angles... From your friends and family asking you when you're going to have babies, to your doctors spending more time looking at your genitalia than your spouse. It's expensive to the point that sometimes, some people with infertility are forced to make decisions like, "Do we put a down payment on a house... or pursue IVF?" Infertility changes your life."
"People who struggle with infertility really will and most do give anything and everything that they can to be pregnant and for a chance to be a parent. Someone who has spent $100,000 on infertility treatments and drugs does not want to hear a pregnant women sound ungrateful in any way. I don't know if this sounds bitter, but to me it's just logical... You don't go to an amputee who has lost both of his legs and start complaining about how annoying it is to walk everywhere and how nice it would be to just have a motorized vehicle to push them around do you? Of course not, it's callous and ignorant. That is the same as complaining to someone with infertility about your pregnancy."
"If we need space, don't assume that we are just selfish and jealous and bitter. We are broken hearted and self preserving. It doesn't feel good for other people to think these terrible things of you, on TOP of the infertility itself. Don't think negatively of us, or your friends if they or we need space. Try to think of your lowest moments, when you found out the worst news of your life and you sat down on the floor and cried inconsolably... Sometimes that's what pregnancy announcements feel like... and judging someone for their grief doesn't make sense. A lot of people make the mistake of taking our grief personally, but our grief has nothing to do with you or your pregnancy."
May 9, 2011
Just When you Think No One is Listening
I got this message on Facebook today from one of my old friends from Fort Drum.
"Hey Megan, I was thinking about you all day yesterday!! I say a prayer for you every night!! I think you are such an awesome person and I know you WILL make such an awesome mom!!! Until you've made me more aware of infertility, I've never given it much thought. I've always had compassion for those who aren't able to conceive, but not in the way I do now!! I just want to thank you for making me more aware and also for putting yourself out there to educate us all!! I'm so blessed to have you for a friend!! And know that if ever there is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING, I can do for you...do not hesitate to call on me!! Thanks for being such a kind, considerate, informing and WONDERFUL friend!!! IMISSYOU!!!"
It nearly made me cry. I actually reached someone--someone took the time to read my posts and GETS IT AND cares enough to let me know! What an amazing feeling. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people to support me through this journey.
"Hey Megan, I was thinking about you all day yesterday!! I say a prayer for you every night!! I think you are such an awesome person and I know you WILL make such an awesome mom!!! Until you've made me more aware of infertility, I've never given it much thought. I've always had compassion for those who aren't able to conceive, but not in the way I do now!! I just want to thank you for making me more aware and also for putting yourself out there to educate us all!! I'm so blessed to have you for a friend!! And know that if ever there is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING, I can do for you...do not hesitate to call on me!! Thanks for being such a kind, considerate, informing and WONDERFUL friend!!! IMISSYOU!!!"
It nearly made me cry. I actually reached someone--someone took the time to read my posts and GETS IT AND cares enough to let me know! What an amazing feeling. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people to support me through this journey.
May 8, 2011
Mother's Day
Holidays are always hard when you're infertile. So many holidays are centered around children, often making them unbearable for an infertile couple. Mother's Day is a day to celebrate our own moms and all they've done for us but it is also a day to celebrate our own motherhood...or it should be. The banners, the tearjerker cards, the commercials and even the Mother's Day sales on luggage are a painful reminder that I am not yet a mother. We found out that our first IUI attempt failed just in time to "celebrate" Mother's Day. With each holiday that passes, I think to myself, "Next year will be different." It never is. This will be the third Mother's Day to pass since I started trying to become a mom. I can't wait for this Mother's Day season to be over and I feel so guilty for feeling that way.
I'm not asking for sympathy and I certainly don't want your pity. All I'm asking is that those of you who are already mothers take a moment and remember the barren women who are suffering and counting the seconds until Mother's Day is over. Remember the women who have lost their babies, the women who are being poked and probed, undergoing test after test and failed procedure after failed procedure, or miles of bureaucratic red tape waiting for their adoption match. Please remember the women who are going to hell and back for their chance to become a mom and pray that by next Mother's Day their hearts will be healed and their arms will be wrapped around the child they fought so hard for.
Here are some tidbits from different articles that I've read this week. I found them them interesting/comforting/meaningful/perfect:
"Holidays also mark the passing of another year. "Many couples say to themselves, 'Maybe next year at this time we'll have a baby to love,' and as the holiday passes without a pregnancy or a birth, feelings of defeat flood in," said Shapiro in her book Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.
Infertility is a loss that couples share, but women mourn it differently. "It's the woman's body that sustains the pregnancy, delivers the baby, nurses the baby, and little girls are socialized from their youngest years to anticipate motherhood as an integral part of their lives."
Shapiro said it's especially difficult for would-be mothers in their 20s and 30s not to be part of the "Club" that passes around sonograms, has baby showers at work, and talks, almost constantly, it seems, about everything from Lamaze classes to toilet training" http://www.aces.uiuc.edu/news/stories/news2309.html
"This year when the fill-in-the-blank (pastor, priest, minister, rabbi, etc.) asks all women in the congregation who are mothers to stand to be recognized, you might take a closer look at the women who remain seated. There are many among them grateful that only a few hours remain to be endured in the annual Mother’s Day season." http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/07/a-non-mothers-day/
"It is good and right to honor mothers. The Bible calls us to do so. Jesus does so with his own mother. We must recognize though that many infertile women find this day almost unbearable. This is not because these women are (necessarily) bitter or covetous or envious. The day is simply a reminder of unfulfilled longings, longings that are good." http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/russellmoore/remember-the-infertile-on-mothers-day.html
"Just about every woman has a child in her life, by relation or by choice, whom she loves and adores. Every boo-boo she kisses, every little hand she holds, every hug she gives is a gift to that family. And every time a PANK® (Professional Aunt No Kids) stays late so a mom can leave early to attend to a sick child, or takes on double the work when a new mom is on maternity leave, she's contributing to the national American Family Village.
These Savvy Aunties are not childless. They are childfull; they choose to love the children they know and give to children around the nation -- and around the world.
It's time to embrace all the maternal women in a child's life this Mother's Day. It's time to open the door and welcome Auntie in." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-notkin/mothers-day-other-mothers_b_857328.html?ref=fb&src=sp
"So this Mother’s Day, look around your church. Sitting in a chair or pew is a hurting woman who wants to celebrate the day, but is struggling with the pain of infertility. If you are a mother, it is a day to celebrate and be honored. But in your time of celebration and giving thanks to God for the blessings of your children, whisper a prayer for the other women - those with empty arms because of infertility, miscarriage, abortion, and even death. They are suffering their own private pain. Don’t offer platitudes, pity, or answers. Instead, offer yourself as a source of comfort and prayer." http://blogs.cbn.com/familymatters/archive/2010/05/06/mothers-day-a-painful-reminder-of-infertility.aspx
Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all the "moms" in my own life who helped shape me and make me the woman that I am today. Happy Mother's Day to all of the expectant moms, moms of angels, fur baby moms, adoptive moms and future moms!
I'm not asking for sympathy and I certainly don't want your pity. All I'm asking is that those of you who are already mothers take a moment and remember the barren women who are suffering and counting the seconds until Mother's Day is over. Remember the women who have lost their babies, the women who are being poked and probed, undergoing test after test and failed procedure after failed procedure, or miles of bureaucratic red tape waiting for their adoption match. Please remember the women who are going to hell and back for their chance to become a mom and pray that by next Mother's Day their hearts will be healed and their arms will be wrapped around the child they fought so hard for.
Here are some tidbits from different articles that I've read this week. I found them them interesting/comforting/meaningful/perfect:
"Holidays also mark the passing of another year. "Many couples say to themselves, 'Maybe next year at this time we'll have a baby to love,' and as the holiday passes without a pregnancy or a birth, feelings of defeat flood in," said Shapiro in her book Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.
Infertility is a loss that couples share, but women mourn it differently. "It's the woman's body that sustains the pregnancy, delivers the baby, nurses the baby, and little girls are socialized from their youngest years to anticipate motherhood as an integral part of their lives."
Shapiro said it's especially difficult for would-be mothers in their 20s and 30s not to be part of the "Club" that passes around sonograms, has baby showers at work, and talks, almost constantly, it seems, about everything from Lamaze classes to toilet training" http://www.aces.uiuc.edu/news/stories/news2309.html
"This year when the fill-in-the-blank (pastor, priest, minister, rabbi, etc.) asks all women in the congregation who are mothers to stand to be recognized, you might take a closer look at the women who remain seated. There are many among them grateful that only a few hours remain to be endured in the annual Mother’s Day season." http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/07/a-non-mothers-day/
"It is good and right to honor mothers. The Bible calls us to do so. Jesus does so with his own mother. We must recognize though that many infertile women find this day almost unbearable. This is not because these women are (necessarily) bitter or covetous or envious. The day is simply a reminder of unfulfilled longings, longings that are good." http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/russellmoore/remember-the-infertile-on-mothers-day.html
"Just about every woman has a child in her life, by relation or by choice, whom she loves and adores. Every boo-boo she kisses, every little hand she holds, every hug she gives is a gift to that family. And every time a PANK® (Professional Aunt No Kids) stays late so a mom can leave early to attend to a sick child, or takes on double the work when a new mom is on maternity leave, she's contributing to the national American Family Village.
These Savvy Aunties are not childless. They are childfull; they choose to love the children they know and give to children around the nation -- and around the world.
It's time to embrace all the maternal women in a child's life this Mother's Day. It's time to open the door and welcome Auntie in." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melanie-notkin/mothers-day-other-mothers_b_857328.html?ref=fb&src=sp
"So this Mother’s Day, look around your church. Sitting in a chair or pew is a hurting woman who wants to celebrate the day, but is struggling with the pain of infertility. If you are a mother, it is a day to celebrate and be honored. But in your time of celebration and giving thanks to God for the blessings of your children, whisper a prayer for the other women - those with empty arms because of infertility, miscarriage, abortion, and even death. They are suffering their own private pain. Don’t offer platitudes, pity, or answers. Instead, offer yourself as a source of comfort and prayer." http://blogs.cbn.com/familymatters/archive/2010/05/06/mothers-day-a-painful-reminder-of-infertility.aspx
Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all the "moms" in my own life who helped shape me and make me the woman that I am today. Happy Mother's Day to all of the expectant moms, moms of angels, fur baby moms, adoptive moms and future moms!
Apr 16, 2011
Sock it to Infertility.
I joined TheKnot.com when I started planning my wedding in 2004. M was in boot camp and I stumbled across a board for Military Brides. I met a lot of wonderful women on there--several of whom I met in real life! It's been seven years and many of us still keep in touch through Facebook. Internet strangers that are more real to me than any of the friends I grew up with.
About two years after M and I got married I moved to TheNest.com and started chatting on a board called Babies on the Brain. Pretty self-explanatory, right? It was on this board that learned about Charting my BBT, Cervical Mucous and Timed Intercourse. Babies on the Brain turned sex into a science experiment and I became addicted to peeing on sticks. Many women on BOTB got pregnant right away and most of the names that I recognize probably have multiple children by now. I never expected that it'd take me THIS long to have one of my own.
Recently, since we started treatments, I started posting on the Infertility Board on TheBump.com. The majority of the women posting there have already passed me on their IF journey and are doing IVF. There are a few women who are still doing TI or IUI but it seems like most of them are IVFers. Our diagnosis is unexplained infertility--which, for those of you who are also unexplained, you know that there's not a whole lot of literature out there for us. The IF books have loads of information on PCOS, MFI, etc. but not too much insight into unexplained IF. If you could explain it, I guess it wouldn't be unexplained, right?
Since I began posting on the IF board I have learned a lot of things that I didn't even know about infertility. Like the fact that your chart can show a clear ovulation pattern without your body actually releasing an egg.
WHAT?! This is all the more reason for my RE to do 7DPO blood work on me--blood work that they refuse to do for whatever reason. M is going to my next follie check with me on Tuesday and we plan to have a long talk with the doctor about pursuing additional testing before moving onto IUI and going out of pocket.
For all of my readers (is anyone out there?) isn't it strange that I've never had CD3 and 7DPO testing? Gah! Army doctors!
Back on topic. Anyway, the point of this entire blog entry was to talk about Lucky Socks. Lucky socks? How do socks relate to fertility? Well, they don't. Not really...BUT, you see, women with infertility often spend a LOT (and I mean a LOT) of time with our feet in stirrups. Supposedly a nurse suggested to an infertile woman, "Wear fun socks; they're good conversation starters." This has led to many exchanges of "Lucky Socks." I just participated in one on The Bump. I bought my person a pair of black knee high socks with rainbow stripes and I sent her some good German chocolate for good measure.
There is another opportunity to participate in a Lucky Sock Exchange! "I am asking my friends and family (and strangers!) to donate a pair of socks to an infertile woman and to spread the word about infertility. I'm not talking a pair of boring white socks; I'm talking a NEW pair of funky, fun, goofy, conversation starting socks!!!" You can find the full details by clicking on this link:
Sock it to Infertility Event
I guess that's it for now. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. As last night was my last dose of Clomid, I hope I can sleep without being drenched in sweat tonight!
About two years after M and I got married I moved to TheNest.com and started chatting on a board called Babies on the Brain. Pretty self-explanatory, right? It was on this board that learned about Charting my BBT, Cervical Mucous and Timed Intercourse. Babies on the Brain turned sex into a science experiment and I became addicted to peeing on sticks. Many women on BOTB got pregnant right away and most of the names that I recognize probably have multiple children by now. I never expected that it'd take me THIS long to have one of my own.
Recently, since we started treatments, I started posting on the Infertility Board on TheBump.com. The majority of the women posting there have already passed me on their IF journey and are doing IVF. There are a few women who are still doing TI or IUI but it seems like most of them are IVFers. Our diagnosis is unexplained infertility--which, for those of you who are also unexplained, you know that there's not a whole lot of literature out there for us. The IF books have loads of information on PCOS, MFI, etc. but not too much insight into unexplained IF. If you could explain it, I guess it wouldn't be unexplained, right?
Since I began posting on the IF board I have learned a lot of things that I didn't even know about infertility. Like the fact that your chart can show a clear ovulation pattern without your body actually releasing an egg.
WHAT?! This is all the more reason for my RE to do 7DPO blood work on me--blood work that they refuse to do for whatever reason. M is going to my next follie check with me on Tuesday and we plan to have a long talk with the doctor about pursuing additional testing before moving onto IUI and going out of pocket.
For all of my readers (is anyone out there?) isn't it strange that I've never had CD3 and 7DPO testing? Gah! Army doctors!
Back on topic. Anyway, the point of this entire blog entry was to talk about Lucky Socks. Lucky socks? How do socks relate to fertility? Well, they don't. Not really...BUT, you see, women with infertility often spend a LOT (and I mean a LOT) of time with our feet in stirrups. Supposedly a nurse suggested to an infertile woman, "Wear fun socks; they're good conversation starters." This has led to many exchanges of "Lucky Socks." I just participated in one on The Bump. I bought my person a pair of black knee high socks with rainbow stripes and I sent her some good German chocolate for good measure.
There is another opportunity to participate in a Lucky Sock Exchange! "I am asking my friends and family (and strangers!) to donate a pair of socks to an infertile woman and to spread the word about infertility. I'm not talking a pair of boring white socks; I'm talking a NEW pair of funky, fun, goofy, conversation starting socks!!!" You can find the full details by clicking on this link:
Sock it to Infertility Event
I guess that's it for now. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. As last night was my last dose of Clomid, I hope I can sleep without being drenched in sweat tonight!
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