I'm a MOMMY!

How do I even choose where to begin? When I last left you I was having what I thought was practice labor. I watched the U.S. Women's Soccer team kick butt and win another gold medal, took a little nap and continued to experience contractions. Around 4:30 I texted Mike and asked when he was coming home. I wasn't in a lot of pain, contractions were still about 7-8 minutes apart but something inside me wanted him home with me. I was sitting on the birth ball when he arrived home with the Subway dinner I had requested. I was so hungry! I ate almost my entire foot long before I started feeling a little queasy and made myself stop eating. Around 6:00 Mike and I decided to go for another walk to see if it would help bring my contractions closer together. At this point I was having to lean on him during contractions and wanted him to be quiet. He referred to my contractions as waves and was starting to pick up on their pattern. He was reassuring me when he knew they were intensifying and was helping me through them by letting me know when it was almost over.  In between contractions I was  still very much engaged in conversation and Mike and I were talking happily about different things. Like how for the past few days I wanted to avoid the world and just stay safe and cozy in our house and about what it would be like when the baby finally came. I kept telling him that I hope all the contractions were doing something because I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle prodromal labor for days. I told him i wasn't afraid of labor, just of it going on for days. I wasnt afraid, I was ready.  Remember the last time I walked with Zero it slowed my contractions down instead of making them closer together or stronger? Not this time. I told Mike that according to the 5-1-1 rule we could probably go to the hospital but that I wanted to wait. I wasn't ready to go anywhere yet.

Around 6:45 I felt the urgent need to get back to the house as soon as possible because I was afraid my food was going to go right through me. Luckily we hadn't gone too far from the house and I made it to the bathroom just in time. I had a loose stool, felt a little sick and still wasn't convinced that this was really labor. I updated Sam, my doula extraordinaire, and she assured me that this all sounded very promising and could be early labor. *Quotes are from the birth story Sam wrote for me.*  I asked Mike if we could go walking again. This time we made it about 50 yards before I wanted to turn around and go home. I wanted to be in the privacy and security of our home and I wanted to rest. It was about 7:30 and I asked Mike if he would go buy me some Tylenol PM so I could try to get some sleep since my contractions were back to 7-8 minutes apart.  Sam said that it definitely sounded like an on again off again pattern of prelabor and that my body was gearing up for the real thing! I told her that the pain I was feeling then was psyching me out for the big ones and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle 'real' labor pains. She assured me that the longer I had the prelabor contractions the longer my body would get to adjust and the "easier" my labor would be.

 "Find yourself a mantra. something that really jumps out at you. Keep that in your mind! You and Mike have worked SO hard for this little lady--you are already stronger than you know.  You will work hard at bringing her to your arms, but it's only for a short while. Minimal!"  

8/9 7:36 pm

Around 8:00 we went upstairs to our bedroom and things become kind of blurry for me at this point.

I remember having a really hard time getting comfortable in bed. I was feeling a lot of pressure and tightness in my back and preferred the hands and knees position when a contraction came. Mike rubbed my back and my feet and tried to keep me as relaxed as possible. Everything was totally quiet. I was no longer functional enough to grab my phone to track my contractions and I was moaning to get through it. Mike kept telling me, "Good job, Megan. Let it out, let it out..."  This went on for the next few hours. As I said--a blur.  Around midnight I remember going through a particularly hard contraction and feeling a pop. I immediately said to Mike, "I think my water broke." He asked if I felt a pop and I said yes, sat up and felt a gush. I told Mike that I was ready to go to the hospital but that I wanted to take a shower and try to relax first.  When I got to the bathroom to get into the shower another contraction hit and I vomited all over myself and the floor. Mike helped get me undressed and into the shower. I told him to text Sam and tell her about the pop I felt. It was 12:30 and contractions were about 3 minutes apart.

I stayed in the shower while Mike texted Sam and called the on-call midwife. During this time I guess I decided it would be a good idea to shave my legs--what?!--because Mike came back into the bathroom while I was in the middle of a contraction and told me to drop the razor. I was moaning and leaning against the shower wall letting the hot water fall on my back. It took a lot of convincing to get me out of that shower and I vomited again before getting out.  Mike put the dogs up, grabbed the last minute items we needed and we headed to the car. I asked him to slide the passenger seat all the way forward so that I could get in the back seat on my hands and knees--there was NO way I would be able to sit in a seat. Since it was the middle of the night there was no traffic, thankfully, but it was the longest 20 minute car ride EVER. Mike was doing his best to comfort me through contractions, putting one hand on my back and coaching me through each wave, as he drove. I asked Sam to hurry and told her how much it hurt.  I was starting to get scared from the pain and my mind was doubting whether or not I could stick to my birth plan and forgo drugs.  The ER parking lot was pretty empty and thankfully we found a spot right up front. It was 1:00 when we got there and I remember about five different people asking if I wanted a wheelchair. Didn't these people know that the last thing I wanted to do was to sit down?

While Mike answered a million questions I was leaning on the counter and moaning and rocking my hips to get through the contractions. I remember wondering if I was scaring the other people in the ER waiting area. The nurse kept asking me if I felt the urge to push but I wasn't feeling that yet. They had to page labor and delivery a second time because they were taking their sweet time. I vomited a third time--thank goodness Mike had brought a grocery bag. At 1:30 a nurse from L&D finally arrived--with a wheelchair that I didn't want--at the same time that Sam arrived. I don't know how long it took us to get upstairs because I had to stop a lot to get through the contractions. It was in the hallway that I said the words, "I don't want to do this anymore." for the first time. They put us in a triage room at first and I immediately noticed there was no tub. My birth plan was a water birth. It was then that we were informed that the plumbing was being repaired and would be out until 5 am. There was no way to fill a tub and I would not be getting my water birth.

Sam grabbed a birth ball and told me to try it out to see if it helped alleviate my back pain but I wanted nothing to do with it. I went to the bed and they hooked me up to the monitors--baby's heart rate was un-reactive/flat during contractions so constant monitoring was necessary. I was convinced I wanted an epidural. I insisted that I couldn't do it anymore and Mike kept reminding me that I was doing it. At 2:30 a nurse checked me and I was already 7cm and baby was fully in position! I had been having contractions on and off all day and exhaustion was grabbing hold--I started begging Mike for an epidural. I begged him not to be mad at me. He assured me that he was not mad at me and he reminded me of all the reasons I did not want an epidural in the first place--risk of labor stalling, risk of c-section, adverse reactions, etc. I wouldn't hear it though--I wanted relief--but Mike and Sam came up with a compromise: get through five more contractions and we would re-evaluate before committing to an epidural. Contractions were 1-1.5 minutes apart. I agreed but told them that I just wanted it to be over and that I didn't want to do it anymore. Again, I begged for the epidural and Sam reminded me that I had three more contractions to go.

At 3:00 the nurse began prepping me for the epidural by placing an IV. She couldn't get it started so the anesthesiologist came in to place the line. While the line was being placed I had bright bloody discharge and Sam was convinced that I was already at least 8 or maybe even 10 centimeters and she told me that I would have my baby in my arms by 4:30. Mike and Sam were doing everything they could to keep the epidural from being placed. They reminded me how far I had come, how hard I worked and how close I was to meeting my baby. I wasn't having any of it though and I was immediately moved to a delivery room after the IV was placed.

At 3:15 the anesthesiologist came into the room and very briefly explained the benefits and risks of an epidural. I thought to myself, "I am in no state to make a major decision like this. I can't believe they're letting me make a decision like this right now."  Exactly two sentences came out of his mouth before he turned to Sam and rudely said, "When I place the epidural you need to leave the room." He was not pleased that Mike and Sam were trying to delay the epidural as long as possible. The anesthesiologist had brought in all the equipment for the epidural before any paperwork had even been signed so Sam asked the nurse to remove it all from the room.

 "Mike was doing a fantastic job helping Megan to remain centered and Megan had gotten herself into a great place, mentally and physically. Rocking seemed to be her rhythm and her urge to push had started."

I was starting to feel a lot of pressure and it was at this point that I felt myself snap out of la la land. I realized how close I was to meeting my baby girl. Our miracle. Still, it wasn't time to push yet so Sam helped me blow through contractions and resist the urge to push. My contractions were 2 minutes apart and I was getting about 4-6 minute breaks in between during my transition phase.  Mike and Sam kept encouraging me and telling me how strong I was. We were getting so close and the midwife still wasn't there.

It took a lot of convincing to allow the nurse to check me again--I knew it was going to hurt and I didn't want more pain. At 3:35 I was 8.5 cm and while my contractions had slowed quite a bit the urge to push was getting stronger and stronger. I started to feel like someone was holding a match against my vagina--the burning was so intense but in a way it was a relief from the contractions that I had been feeling just minutes before. I think it was during this time that Mike had to remove his wedding ring because I may have been crushing his hand a wee bit. Mike asked if they had a chance to review my birth plan since we had requested immediate skin-to-skin, delay cord clamping and to retain my placenta.

"Megan knew it was almost time to push and her demeanor completely changed. She was ready to get to 10 cm and push Baby H. into her arms. She was completely focused and serious, no more desire for an epidural. At 3:50, before the nurse could even get out the door, Megan said she was feeling a lot of pressure and couldn't fight against pushing. She also let out a very vocal and very different reaction to that contraction, so we all knew it was time for her to push. Megan was at 10 cm and felt baby's head very down low. "

 

At 3:55 I started to push. I pushed when I wanted to push. The lights were low and there was no one screaming at me.  I was allowing my body to do the work. There was no more resisting. I don't  know how to describe it other than it felt like the world's biggest bowel movement. I remember telling myself with each contraction, "You are one step closer to meeting your baby...You are one step closer to meeting your baby."  The midwife came in just before crowning.  I was still laying on my side and putting a lot of energy into gripping the bed with my arms so they suggested I roll onto my back, grab my legs and put the energy into bearing down instead. I can hear Sam's voice saying, "You are so strong, Megan!" when I was pushing. This let me know that all my hard work was doing something. I was extremely vocal at this point and heard Mike make a noise that sounded like a laugh and I yelled, "Don't laugh at me!" he wasn't laughing. He was already crying. I asked, "Is she coming!?" and screaming out as I felt her head emerge. The ring of fire was intense but it was such a relief to be pushing. I could feel my body working toward something and I was so focused on my little girl being in my arms very soon. In one big gush I felt her emerge from my body and I heard the midwife and nurses say, "Look down Megan! Here's your baby!"

At 0417 Hazel Evelyn was born. 

I was finally a mommy.

They placed Hazel on my belly and as I sobbed I said to her, "Happy Birthday!  We've waited so long to meet you!!!" I was in a daze--I felt as high as a kite. I didn't have my contacts in so I couldn't see her very clearly but I could hear her cry. I can not even begin to describe the relief I felt. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I could hardly believe that after 4.5 years I was finally holding a baby of my own. I remember looking at Mike and saying, "I did it! I can't believe I did it!" He looked into my eyes and said, "I can."

I laid there in kind of a fog while we waited for her cord to stop pulsing. Mike got to do the honors of cutting it.

I felt like I was in a dream.

 

I told Mike that she smelled like vanilla.

 

I birthed my placenta without any issues and they took it away to make sure it was intact. Sam kept a close watch on it since we planned to take it home for encapsulation. 

 

The midwife started to press on my abdomen to get my uterus to contract. I was told that I was bleeding a lot and they asked if they could give me a small dose of pitocin to help stop the bleeding. I was on a total baby high at that point. They probably could have told me they were injecting anti-freeze and I wouldn't have cared. I had a 2nd degree tear that needed to be stitched up as well but all I was thinking about was the new life in my arms. 

While we were waiting to be moved into a postpartum room I told Mike how hungry I was. Thankfully we had planned ahead and packed some Clif Bars and Sam gave me some water. The sun was starting to come up.

Hazel came out with a lot of vernix on her lower body. She weighed 7 lb 12 oz and was 19.75 inches long. Her apgar score was 9/9.

I asked Sam to come to our postpartum room with us because I wanted a picture of her and Hazel.

She was such a beautiful pink color and I told Mike, "She smells pink!'

There are no words to describe how I felt after giving birth to my miracle baby after four years of infertility. Numerous painful tests, a surgery, failed procedure after failed procedure, years of heartache. All of that went away in an instant. 

Hazel was worth the wait.

Over the past few days I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my birth. I have never felt so proud of myself in my life. I was able to stick to my natural birth plan but I couldn't have done it without Samantha and Mike. Mike was absolutely amazing during the entire thing. He really was my source of comfort and support. I remember crying out to him in pain--I needed him. He did everything he could to help me stick to my birth plan. Even though I was begging for relief and for it to be over he knew knew how important a natural birth was to me and without his help I don't think I would have made it. As far as my doula Sam---neither Mike nor myself would have made it without her help and support. When the pain was at its worst she promised me that I would be having a baby in an hour and a half--and I did! During one particular bad contraction I looked at Mike and told him I wanted drugs. He said that I broke his soul with that look and he would have given in had Sam not been there to back him up. If you're even considering a natural birth--HIRE A DOULA. I will be forever grateful for Samantha's help during my labor and I like to think I've made a new lifetime friend.

I am so overcome with emotion as I look back on the pictures from that day. I feel such a strong spiritual connection with other women who have done this before me. I feel empowered. I feel strong. But...

If I had to pick one word to describe how I feel it would be

 THANKFUL. 

Thankful we found Dr. Moruzzi. Thankful our IVF worked. Thankful that we had loving and supportive friends and family who helped us through the dark times and rejoiced with us in the good. Thankful that I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and a textbook natural delivery. Thankful that Mike and Sam got me through it.
Thankful for my miracle baby. 

Even now, with all the emotions and memories of birth so fresh and raw, I would gladly do it all again tomorrow. She is so beyond what I could have ever imagined. She is my dream come true. 

Just Kidding!

I woke up this morning and noticed some pink tinged liquid on my pad. I didn't get too excited but then the contractions started. Again, didn't get too excited. I had a feeling it might be labor but I was leaning more toward probably not. I tried going back to bed since, you know, you're supposed to rest as much as possible during early labor. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. After about an hour of pretty steady contractions I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom and guess what? The contractions stopped after clearing out my bowels. Lovely.  i continued to have some menstrual-like cramping though.  The on-call midwife told me that I could either come in to L&D to get checked out or I could wait until the clinic opened and see my midwife. Since the contractions had all but stopped and I was leaking minimal amounts of pink fluid I decided to wait to see my midwife. I gave my doula a heads up, Mike and I packed our last minute items in our hospital bags just in case I was admitted and we headed to the clinic.

She explained that the fluid I was seeing was just regular discharged tinged with blood from my cervix thinning--hooray for effacement! The EPO must be doing something because I was only 30% last Friday and was 60% today so something is definitely going on. We will not talk about the two pounds I managed to gain between now and then. What the fuck?  I'mgoing to say it's water retention since I'm all swollen again. Yup, that's it. My midwife also commented that baby must have dropped because I was measuring smaller. Mike commented yesterday about that and I guess he was right! I felt kind of dumb going in for something minimal but I didn't know what was going on. After a friend had a baby less than an hour after her water breaking I figured I'd better play it safe. I'm glad I went in. I'm still just 1cm but I'll take it. She stripped my membranes again and it was definitely way more uncomfortable this time than last week and I've been having some intense cramping/random contractions since then as well as more pink discharge. Hopefully our baby girl will be making an appearance before too long!!!

I have been going stir crazy just sitting at home and wondering, "Is today going to be the day?" so I decided to get out of the house today. I headed to a lavender farm with my doula and another friend and her baby and while I was having some difficult walking and bending and had a brief encounter with a snake on my foot, it was really nice to get out of the house. I picked a bundle of lavender that I'm going to dry and give to my midwife as a thank you gift--she always smells like lavender when I see her so I figured she'd like it. :) I also go some white chocolate lavender fudge that is deeeeelish! Now it's time to track the contractions that I'm having, put my feet up and rest because getting up at 0500 does not suit me.We're in single digits now, people!

Lavender bundle and white chocolate lavender fudge!

38w5d pregnant in a field of lavender

We're Having a Baby This Month!

Happy August 1st, everyone. I can not believe I can now say, "We're having a baby this month!!!!!" Where has the time gone? I definitely feel like the first two trimesters just flew by and this third has been draaaaagging on. Probably because we've been pretty much prepared for her arrival since 30 weeks. I finished my baby quilt a couple weeks ago and I've been just twiddling my thumbs since. The days seem to drag on and on but that might also be because it pretty much hurts and exhausts me to do anything. Getting out of bed is the worse! Thanks to pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel, my hands and wrists ache. My feet ache. My belly and back ache. Despite all that, I'm still not ready to be done. I mean I am, but I'm not. I'm going to miss being pregnant. I'm going to miss feeling her move inside me. I'm going to miss having her all to myself.

With that said.....

I can't wait to meet her! I can't wait to smell that intoxicating baby smell on her head. I can't wait to look into her eyes and tell her that I'm her mommy. I can't wait to ignore my messy house because I'm too busy snuggling with my baby girl. I can't wait to see Mike melt into an absolute puddle when he meets his daughter for the first time. I can't wait to nurse her and gaze into her eyes--I think knowing that I'm giving her all the nourishment she needs is going to be one of the most empowering things I'll ever feel. I still can't believe that after 4.5 years of waiting, we are going to meet our daughter this month!

During this pregnancy I have been doing a lot to prepare for her arrival. Besides the obvious shopping for clothes, cloth diapers, baby gear, etc. I have been doing some other things to prepare both physically and mentally. I thought I'd share these things for anyone else who may be interested too.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
By far my FAVORITE book that I've read on birth. Birth is not to be feared. Birth is natural. Birth is not a medical condition that needs to be treated. (Unless you're high risk and have medical issues that need to be treated, obviously.) Am I nervous for the pain of childbirth? Yes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. However, I know my body was designed to do this and I welcome the natural process. Honestly, the pain and recovery from a c-section scares me more. I remember how awful I felt after my laparoscopy last summer and I remember saying to Mike, "I can't even imagine feeling this way and having to care for a newborn." Even if you're the type of person who wants nothing to do with a midwife or wants an epidural as soon as she gets to the hospital, I still highly suggest you read this book. Did you know that the average American spends more time researching cars or a new computer than they spend on researching childbirth? It's crazy! Like infertility and IVF, I couldn't imagine going into this with no knowledge. It just blows my mind how blindly some people can follow their doctors. If I did that I would probably still be in the shitty clinic on post, trying like hell to get pregnant instead of anticipating the birth of my baby girl but I digress.  Some of it is a little hippy-dippy but it has so much great information and some really wonderful birth stories.

 The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
I loved this book so much I read it twice! This book far exceeded any other book I read about breastfeeding. It was incredibly informative and got me totally pumped to nurse my baby girl!. I wish every woman who says, "I am going to try to breastfeed...." would read this! I have no doubts that I can and will breastfeed my daughter. It may come with some issues but I now know who to see if I need help and Mike knows that his role in supporting me in my endeavors is just as important as my role as a nursing mom. I read other books about breastfeeding too and this was by far my favorite.

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds
This book was great! While I already knew about things like c-section statistics, interventions, rooming in, etc. It helped me be more prepared to advocate for myself and our wishes in a hospital setting. I'm not too worried about getting pushed around by doctors or nurses, mostly because I've heard nothing but great things about my hospital being very supportive of natural birth moms, but also because I know Mike won't allow it. He is not to to allow others bully him and he will definitely speak up for us when I can't. Also, I'll have my doula there!

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
I've been trying to drink at least one cup a day since a couple weeks after I hit my second trimester. Contrary to popular belief, this does not induce labor. It is a uterine toner and can help make contractions during labor more efficient and help prevent postpartum hemorrhaging. It also helps with fertility and menstrual cramps. Luckily, I'm a big tea drinker so I don't mind the taste though a lot of people say it's too bland for them. It's very refreshing iced as well!  For more on the benefits of drinking RRL tea check out this article. You can find RRL tea at Super.Supplements or in a Natural Foods section of your grocery store. Am.azon sells it for a good deal too!

Evening Primrose Oil
Again, contrary to popular belief this does not directly induce labor.  Evening Primrose Oil contains an essential fatty acid that is converted into a prostaglandin by our bodies, which is what softens our cervix during pregnancy and labor.  Semen also contains naturally prostaglandins and can help your cervix ripen. However, sex can be quite uncomfortable and difficult at this point in pregnancy so needless to say I figured the EPO wouldn't hurt as well. At my 37 week appointment my midwife gave me the green light to start using EPO to help prepare my cervix for birth. I insert two gel caps into my vagina every night before bed (make sure to use a pad or pantyliner as this can get messy!) Starting next week I will up the dosage to 3. The gel caps are dissolved by morning and hopefully the EPO is doing it's thing overnight! It does not work right away, of course. It takes a few weeks to ripen and soften the cervix. I could have started it at 36 weeks but I didn't have an appointment then and I wanted to talk with my midwife to make sure it was okay to start it. It's always a good idea to talk to your care provider before starting any kind of herbal or medicinal regiment.

Big Bouncy Ball
I wish I would have bought one ages ago! This is the only thing that brings me instant relief for back pain. I bounce on it whenever my back feels tight and try to spend at least an hour a day on it. I sit on while I'm watching the Olympics and pretend I'm a lot more than just a huge pregnant lady bouncing on a ball. Sitting on the ball is *almost* as good as the squatting position but much, much easier. Have you ever tried to squat when you're 40 pounds heavier and your center of gravity is totally off? It's not pretty. This position opens the pelvis and helps baby get in prime position for birth! It also feels really, really good on my back and hips. And your animals look at you like you're crazy:

Bailey wondering what I'm doing.

Zero and the bump out for a walk

Walking
I always said that I wasn't going to be lazy during pregnancy and except for those first few months where I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING--I've been pretty good about staying somewhat active. Plus those first few months were winter in the Pacific NW aka cold and rainy season--so I had an excuse, right? ;) Now that my swelling is gone for the most part, I have been going on walks with Mike when he gets home from work. Thankfully it doesn't take too much pleading on my part to get him to go with me because he knows it's good for me and the baby (and the doggies!) We don't go far, mostly because my back gets really tight and painful, but we try to do at least a mile. Most days we do about 1.25-1.5 miles, which seems amazingly far when you are waddling the entire way. I get a lot of stares from people passing by. Haha.  I normally feel some cervical pressure by the end of the walk so I hope it's doing something to help the progress along.


I know I've already said this but we're having a baby this month! Only 16 days until my due date but I won't be surprised if I go post date. I hope that doesn't happen since we're moving so soon but if it comes to that Mike and I have decided to wait until 40 weeks to talk about eviction. Mike and I both guessed that she'll make her arrival on the 14th so I guess we'll see! Have you put in your guess yet?

Oh and I had to share this funny picture! Mike and I went up to Seattle last weekend to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law one last time before the babies start arriving. My SIL now has over 14 pounds of babies in her! She's due August 19 and so far they've shown no signs of coming any time soon. I know she's as ready to meet her babies as I am!

Mike's magical floating head

37 Weeks

From IVF bloat to big baby bump--look how far we've come!

How big is baby? 

 

Symptoms: Aches and pains all over. Dry mouth, hungry all the time, fatigue. Fun end of pregnancy stuff!
Total Weight Loss/Gain: +38.5
Maternity Clothes: Yup. Though I'm running out of things that fit. I snapped the elastic in on of my shirts today. Way to make a pregnant girl feel good!
Sleep: I miss it.  Baby girl must be pushing on my bladder because I am up every single hour some nights!

Best Moment This Week: Meeting with my doula and addressing my fears and anxieties about birth. I feel so much better now and I am pumped to have this baby!
Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: She's still very active and seems to be hanging out all on my right side. I'm constantly getting poked and kicked in the ribs.
Food Cravings: Cinnamon toast and cinnamon toast crunch
Labor Signs: I am declining cervical checks for now since they're not really a good indicator of when I'll go into labor anyway. I do have some occasional contracting and cervical pressure. My pelvis just feels so incredibly heavy. 
Belly Button In or Out? Depending on her position it's either a slight outie or big outie.
What I miss: Walking without looking like a little old lady. I have to shuffle to the bathroom in the middle of the night and it's so hard getting out of bed!
What I am looking forward to: The moment I meet our baby girl. It's so surreal that it could happen at any time now. After everything we've been through. I hope someone is available to take a picture of this moment because I want to remember it forever.
Next Appointment: 3 August--38 weeks.
Milestones: Full term!!! Her organs are fully functional and her lungs are mature enough that she now has permission to come out.  I'm totally expecting her to bake a few more weeks and I definitely want her to come when she's ready BUT I hope she doesn't take her sweet time because I really don't want to PCS 3,000 miles two weeks after having her, you know? Oh and I'm GBS negative, which means I can labor at home as long as I want to now. Woot!

I created a baby pool for fun--click on the banner to enter your guess on when Baby H. will arrive and how big she'll be! 

  

Oh and Happy Olympics, everyone!!!

My Natural Birth Plan

My birth plan has been submitted to and discussed with my midwife. She's totally on board with everything and most things are already standard procedure in her practice, which means the on call midwife who delivers me will be too.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared about labor and delivery but Mike and I plan to attend a natural child birth preparation class next month, which will hopefully help put my fears and anxiety to rest. I'm currently reading Natural Hospital Birth and Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Natural Childbirth, which have been incredibly informative and eye opening.

Birth Plan for Megan H                                                              Estimated Due Date: 17 August 2012

Michael H, Husband                                                                   Christina M, ARNP, CNM

• We are attempting to have a natural, un-medicated birth without medical or chemical interventions.
• I plan on not being induced until after 42 weeks, in accordance with ACOG’s recommendations.

During labor, we would like:

• To have minimal monitoring and limited vaginal exams.
• To eat and drink as desired.
• To have a saline lock instead of an IV.
• To move around as much as possible.

During labor, we would like to avoid:

• Artificial rupture of membranes.
• Suggestions of chemical interventions, to include anesthetics or analgesics.
• Any references to “things moving along”, “pain”, “hurt”, etc.

During delivery, we would like:

• To push at my own pace (Mother-directed pushing).
• To birth in any position, especially standing or squatting.
• To use warm compresses, food-grade oils, and perineal support to help prevent tearing.
• To lower the bright lights at the moment of birth.

During delivery, we would like to avoid:

• Loud coaching or counting during pushing.
• Pushing while lying on my back.
• The use of vacuum or forceps.
• An episiotomy; I prefer to tear naturally.

Following birth, we would like:

• To delay the cord clamping as long as possible, until it stops pulsating at the least.
• My husband to cut the cord.
• To have baby placed on Mother’s abdomen immediately.
• The APGAR to be tested while the baby is on my chest.
• To delay any non-emergent newborn procedures, including the vitamin K shot, the PKU heel stick, eye prophylaxis, bathing, measuring, weighing, and foot printing until after our bonding period.
• To bathe her ourselves.
• To breastfeed exclusively. (No bottles, pacifiers, syringes, formula, etc.)To meet with an IBCLC or a local La Leche League Leader as soon as possible.
• To retain my placenta for encapsulation.

Following birth, we would like to avoid:

• Clamping or cutting the cord before the cord stops pulsating.
• The Hepatitis B shot and eye ointment.
• Pitocin during the birth of the placenta.
• Wiping or rubbing off of the vernix.

Back-up Birth Plan (for a Cesarean Delivery)
Instead of a cesarean, I would like to return home or remain in the hospital for monitoring if my labor fails to progress. I do not consent to a cesarean delivery based on fears of what might happen to my baby if we don't. I only consent to a cesarean delivery if my baby is showing distress on the monitors and if there is a time-sensitive emergency. If there is time for me to wait for an operating suite, watch a consent video, or wait for my personal doctor to arrive to do the surgery, then it is not a time-sensitive emergency.  I would like to obtain a second opinion if my physician recommends a c-section.

During the prep, I would like:

• To have my husband present.
• To be introduced to everyone in the OR and have their roles explained.
• To be kept informed of what is taking place.
• I do not consent to tying down my arms unless I am unable to control them.
• I do not consent to tranquilizers, sedatives, or amnesiac drugs.

During the procedure, I would like:

• To have only necessary staff present
• For the atmosphere to be as gentle and unhurried as possible.
• To delay the cord clamping as long as possible, until it stops pulsating at the least, so that my baby gets all of its cord blood and so that my baby will not need oxygen from a different source.
• To have the baby be immediately placed skin-to-skin with an uncut umbilical cord on my bare chest and covered with blankets for warmth, unless there is an unusual situation.

During the repair, I would like:

• To keep the baby skin-to-skin on my chest or in my arms instead of using a warmer, even throughout suturing, recovery, etc.

• The APGAR to be tested while the baby is on my chest.
• To keep the vernix on my baby’s skin so that I can rub it in myself.
• My husband to cut the cord.
• To delay any non-emergent newborn procedures, including the vitamin K shot, the PKU heel stick, eye prophylaxis, bathing, measuring, weighing, and foot printing.
  The opportunity to breastfeed the baby immediately, even while the surgeons are finishing their work.
• To retain my placenta for encapsulation.

In recovery, I would like:

• To be visited by an IBCLC or a local La Leche League Leader as soon as possible.
• To keep the baby with me at all times.
• To delay the baby’s bath, weight, and other measurements until after our bonding period.
  
  
  
  
  
  And a big congratulations to Jessica, whose twins made their very early appearance last Saturday!

23 weeks

How big is baby? The size of a pomegranate or about 11.8 inches. Approximately 1.5 pounds.
Symptoms: stretch marks on my breasts, gagging, insatiable thirst, braxton hicks, acne and it's getting much harder to bend over and sit up in bed. Oh and how could I forget? Peeing all.the.time.
Total Weight Loss/Gain: I was a little worried about how much I've gained since I have my appetite back thanks to Zofran but I'm officially up 16 pounds. My midwife says that's great!
Maternity Clothes: I'm going to need some new jeans soon if the weather doesn't start warming up. They're getting tight on my belly and butt!
Sleep: Insomnia still comes and goes.
Best Moment This Week: Starting the nursery and working on decorations.
 Gender: GIRL!!!!
Movement: Lots! I love it.
Food Cravings: Today I drove past a Krispy Kreme and just HAD to have one--I haven't had one in years! Baby girl enjoyed her first (and second) Krispy Kreme. :)
Funny moment: You know that scene in The Last Crusade where the librarian is stamping the book as Indiana Jones is busting up the floor? I had a similar experience this morning involving baby kicks and artillery fire. Kick, kick...BOOM. It was pretty funny to wake up to!
Labor Signs: None.
Belly Button In or Out? Still in but getting more and more shallow every day.
What I miss: Beer.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery, buying her crib, making it to viability.
Next Appointment: 11 May
Milestones: One week closer to viability! Starting the nursery.



Had a great midwife appointment today. The results of my a/s were perfectly normal, baby's in the 55th percentile for weight, my weight gain is on track (I was worried about it since I got Zofran and got my appetite back!) and no more placenta previa! She was really enthusiastic about my birth plan and said they already do everything on there so not to worry. She let me decline the pertussis vaccination until I'm not longer pregnant and we talked about the vit k, hep B and eye ointment. She's totally okay with me not doing them but I think we'll elect to do the vitamin K shot. I think it's probably a really good thing we're not headed for Rucker right now because I love my midwife. ♥

I Do Not Consent

I read this article a few days ago and was absolutely horrified. There seems to be a lot of speculation in the comments as to whether or not something like this could actually happen. As unfortunate and scary as this is, I believe something like this could absolutely happen in a hospital. The birth culture in America is so screwed up and labor, something that should be viewed as a natural process, has been twisted into this incredibly dangerous medical problem that often "require" interventions because the safety and welfare of mommy and baby are in "jeopardy."  Of course there are times where interventions are necessary and vitally important but as I research childbirth, I hear about more and more instances where interventions and other procedures are performed unnecessarily, often times against the mother's wishes.  I'm not too worried with the staff of midwives that I've chosen but I just hope and pray this doesn't happen to me.

I'm the type of person who researches the hell out of something, whether it be to plan a trip or to buy a new camera (Sidebar: Can you believe that people in this country actually spend more time doing research before buying a new electronic than they do researching childbirth? Insane!)  I was like this during infertility treatments (the doctors on post haaated me for this because I questioned everything!) and I'm like this now when it comes to pregnancy, breastfeeding and labor and delivery. I like to consider myself a well informed person and am always shocked at women who are okay with just going along with whatever their doctors say, no questions asked. I guess it has a lot to do with the horrible care I received during my infertility journey but I can't do that. My goal is for Mike and I to go into my labor armed with the knowledge to make informed decisions and not be pushed around by medical staff.

My friend, Allie, went through this with her birth team. Unfortunately, the OB on call during her labor was absolutely horrible to her and she ended up having a pretty traumatic L&D, far from the totally natural birth that she really wanted.  Allie made it all the way to 10 centimeters with no pain medications or interventions. The nurse allowed her to start pushing and when the mean OB arrived in her room she insisted that she perform a cervical check. Up to this point, Allie had not had her cervix checked for progress, she was confident that her body was doing what it should based on the way she was feeling. The OB checked Allie and hurt her so badly that she screamed in pain and the OB announced that Allie was only at a 4. Remember that minutes prior to this she had been at a 10 and was already pushing. The OB berated the nurse and basically called her a liar, right in front of Allie. In minutes, Allie's labor spiraled into something other than what she wanted and she felt like she lost control. Allie is a lot like me. She also had horrible experiences during her infertility journey and she also did a TON of research on natural childbirth. Her experience is proof that things don't always go as planned, no matter how much you prepare. I need to keep this in mind.

I read this article from The Birth Bug earlier today and I thought it was very helpful. If any of my readers are also seeking an intervention-free birth, it's something valuable to remember.





http://thebirthbug.wordpress.com/2011/05/27/i-do-not-consent/
If you are in a birthing situation and you find that your caregiver is about to do something you don’t want (e.g. an episiotomy, pulling out the forceps, putting pit in your IV, etc.), you may want to remember these four little words:

“I do not consent.”

Saying, “I’d really rather you not cut me,” or, “I don’t want a vacuum delivery if the baby is still ok,” or “Please don’t up the pit” may or may not work. However, if you say that you do not consent to a certain procedure, then the doctor or midwife cannot legally proceed wth it.
I only say this because I have heard many, many horror stories of women being on the receiving end of what in any situation other than a birth would be considered assault. Make sure you are absolutely clear with your intent and tell your caregiver if you do not consent to a procedure. I will say, however, that this phrase should probably not be taken lightly. Weigh your caregiver’s experience against your own intuition. Is your baby still ok? Are you still ok?  Find out whether the caregiver is recommending a procedure out of medical necessity, or because of convenience or a hospital policy.
If nothing else, you can always say, “Wait. I do not consent yet.” Go on to ask these four questions:
1) Is this an emergency? (If no, move on.)
2) What are the benefits of this procedure?
3) What are the risks of this procedure?
4) What happens if we do nothing?
Remember that it is never, ever too late- even in the middle of labor- to change your caregiver or birth site. If a nurse is trying to do something you do  not want, request a different one. If you are home with a midwife who has suddenly turned sour on you, it’s okay to leave and go to the hospital. If you are at the hospital and there is no acceptable caregiver, it is okay to leave the delivery room and drive to the next hospital. Again, these actions should be taken only with real cause, not at the drop of a hat.
Remember, it is YOUR birth. Yes, doctors and midwives are trained for birth. But sometimes procedures, liability issues, and yes, even sometimes the convenience of the caregiver can get in the way of letting your body do what it does best. You should always be treated with respect and dignity. Remember, with careful consideration, it is okay to utter those four words: “I do not consent.”

Fort Rucker Bound

So it's semi-official. We are heading to Fort Rucker! Mike's reenlistment paperwork was turned in yesterday and we should get the "official" word from Uncle Sam in the next several days. His estimated report date is 10 July, so about 5 weeks before my due date. Eek! We are so excited about this new adventure in Army life. I am looking forward to warm weather and being back within driving distance of more family members.  I'm even more excited that Mike won't be deploying for a long time! We've waited so long for this little girl and it will be so special to keep our family so Mike can witness all her big firsts.  What I am a little (a lot) apprehensive about is not only traveling 2,800 miles at 33 weeks pregnant but also giving birth in a very anti-natural birth climate.


Throughout this entire pregnancy I have had a pretty specific vision of how I hope my labor and delivery to go. This is very likely going to be our only child and I would really love to experience everything that labor brings. I know some people will call me naive or even ridiculous for having such a long list of goals and wishes but I am determined to do my best to make it happen. I am not totally opposed to the use of drugs or interventions, especially if my baby's in danger, but I would definitely like to try to labor naturally first. This wasn't going to be an issue with my current midwife--she will allow me to walk around during labor, eat, use the tub for pain management and push in whatever position feels comfortable to me rather than what is convenient for her.  I have had some incredibly painful tests during my infertility journey and it was so hard to be still while I was in such pain. I can't imagine being in that much pain for hours and being required to lay flat on my back.  In Alabama, midwives are illegal. Yes, you read that right. Midwives are not allowed to attend hospital births and can be prosecuted for attending out-of-hospital births. While I'm not interested in a home birth, I think it should be a choice left up to the parents and not a choice forced on them by state legislation. There is not a single free standing birth center in the entire state of Alabama.

Anyway, I've started my research and found out that there are two hospitals that serve the Fort Rucker area. Flowers Hospital and Southeast Alabama Medical Center. Based off the websites alone, I am leaning toward SE Alabama Medical Center because of the way the birthing suites (complete with jacuzzi tubs!) are set up. Flowers doesn't even mention having tubs and that's important to me. When it comes to choosing an OB, I haven't got a clue. I currently know one woman who is living down there and her OB induced her on her due date because she (the OB) was going out of town and my friend was anxious to meet her baby.  Some people might think, "What's wrong with that?" but I personally feel that induction just for the hell of it can lead to potential problems for your baby and that you're almost guaranteed to have a snowball effect of interventions. For this reason, I do not want to be induced unless there is a valid medical reason or baby or I are at risk.
Mike and I had talked about hiring a doula when I first became pregnant. We felt like it would be unnecessary here because my midwife and hospital were so supportive of the type of labor I am hoping for. We thought we'd be able to handle labor and delivery with just the two of us and I liked the idea of Mike being my sole support system during all of it. Now they're we're moving cross country at such a late stage in my pregnancy, with little time to develop a relationship with an OB, we have readdressed the doula issue and have decided to hire one. We feel like she will be a tremendous help in the delivery room when it comes to advocating our wishes to the staff and helping us be successful with our goals. Mike and I won't be able to attend any child birth classes with the timing of our move and upcoming training he has so a doula will be a great resource for relaxation and pain management techniques. She won't take the place of Mike but will be there to guide him to fill the supportive role I will need during labor and delivery. I've already contacted a doula and received a response! She doesn't really care for any of the OBs down there but suggested one that I was actually considering because someone else suggested that he was natural birth friendly. She said he's allowed her clients to eat/drink, walk around, refuse IV meds, use only intermittent fetal monitoring, etc.  Since I won't have a lot of time to "interview" OBs once we get down there I guess I will have to make an informed decision based on the opinions of others. I've made a list of my labor and delivery goals to help me figure out exactly what I'm hoping to find in an OB. Wish me luck!


Home Labor Goals
I would like to labor at home as long as possible, with our doula present, before going to the hospital.

Hospital Labor Goals

• We plan to have myself, my husband and doula present. Please turn away all visitors and unnecessary staff until we have had time alone with our baby.
• We are attempting to have a natural, un-medicated birth without unnecessary medical or chemical intervention.
• We understand that there are procedures which may become necessary.
• Please do not offer me pain medications or ask me to rate my pain.
• Except in the case of an emergency, we ask that we be given the opportunity to accept or refuse any procedure or medication.
• We request that the least invasive or restricting versions of procedures be used.
• I prefer to have minimal monitoring and limited vaginal exams.
• I prefer not to have any unnecessary medications or interventions.
• I would like to the opportunity to be up and moving around as much as possible during labor.

Delivery Goals

• I would like to push at my own pace (Mother-directed pushing.) 
• I do not want an episiotomy unless medically necessary. I prefer to try perineal massage and a warm compress first.
• I would prefer to push in whatever position is comfortable for me, rather than the traditional back and stirrups position. 
• If labor seems to be stalling I would like the option to try different positions to get the baby to come down (hands and knees, squatting, birthing ball, etc.)
• Upon delivery I would like the baby to placed on my chest right away. I would like to have at least 1 hour of skin-to-skin contact before the baby is taken away for measurements.
• I prefer to breastfeed our baby as soon as possible after delivery. I prefer not to be disturbed until after the first feeding.
• We prefer to wait to cut the cord for 1-2 minutes or until it has stopped pulsating. Please offer my husband the opportunity to cut the cord. 
• Please retain my placenta for encapsulation.
• I would like my doula to be allowed to take photos during the entire labor and delivery process.

If a Cesarean Becomes Necessary:

• I would like to be conscious with my husband and doula in the room. I would still like to nurse our baby as soon as possible and for my placenta to be retained.

Recovery Goals

• I would like the baby to room in with us rather than in a centralized nursery.
• I would like either my husband or myself to be present for baby's first bath.
• I would like to establish a strong breastfeeding relationship. Please do not introduce a bottle or pacifier without notifying us of a medical reason. 
• I would like to meet with a lactation consultant to have breastfeeding techniques checked.