The Baby Trail

I finished reading this book yesterday and just had to RAVE about it. I LOVED IT. It is a book that only an infertile woman could appreciate.  Baby Trail is a novel that tells the story of Emma, an Irish woman, who is on a quest to become pregnant only things don't go quite as planned. I literally laughed out loud more times than I could count. The book is extremely humorous, particularly the chapter where she grills her husband about his masturbation habits after she spends some time googling. Let's face it ladies. We've all been there, right?

When she decides to give OPKs and CM tracking a shot, Emma had me rolling with laughter, "The nuns probably omitted the chapter on rreproduction in case we got any ideas.  So where the hell did my cervix begin?" and "Oh my God, this was unbelievable.  It was horrendous.  I'd never be able to eat meringues again.  Egg white would never have the same appeal." If you're grossed out right now then you've obviously never obsessed over cervical mucus and probably shouldn't be reading this blog. Read my disclaimer.  You can't say that I didn't warn you.

Being infertile, we all know what it's like to be singled out for not being parents.  All the conversations seem to revolve around t-ball and dance class and little Sally's big science fair project. Lord help us if they're a newborn around because then the convo immediately shifts to labor pains and breast feeding and swollen ankles. Topics that we have absolutely nothing to contribute to.  After being the only childless couple at a dinner party Emma said to her husband on the way home, "On the way home I said to James that when we had kids, if I ever turned into a boring old fart who talked about cracked nipples on a Saturday night, he was to shoot me on the spot." 

It's no secret that infertility totally takes the fun out of sex.  How can sex possibly be fun when it's scheduled, when you have to buy special "sperm-friendly" lube? At some point, sex becomes work. "The problem with baby-making was that it had pretty much wiped out the spontaneous rip-your-clothes-off sex we were used too. Now it was all about timing and dates, whereas before we just hopped on each other whenever the mood took us.  The focus had changed from pleasure to which-is-the-best-position-to-help-the-sperm-reach-the-egg-quickly sex."  It's unfortunately true.

Although it was a fictional novel, it touched on some very real aspects of infertility. Like what it's like to feel your marriage being torn apart, like when you barely feel like yourself anymore and you're terrified your husband is going to leave you for someone more fertile.  "I was obsessed, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't control it.  I thought about having a baby all the time.  And everyone around me seemed to be getting pregnant on their honeymoon, or after their first attempt, like Imogen.  What if I never got pregnant? What if there was something wrong with me that the doctors had missed? When I saw our friends with their children my heart ached.  I wanted that for us.  We'd be good parents, so what was it so bloody difficult? Well, one thing was for sure: I had to try to relax.  In this state, not only would I never get pregnant, but I'd end up alone."

One of my favorite parts of the entire book was the bit about Fertility Barbie at the IVF clinic. I don't want to spoil it because it is hilarious.  The Baby Trail was a breath of fresh air in the world of stuffy infertility books.  It was a nice break to read something entertaining and comical about infertility for a change rather than trying navigate my way through something that reads like a medical textbook.  I really, really enjoyed this book so I hope that some of you take my advice and read it. You won't regret it!