I am 10 DPO and 99% certain that AF is just around the corner. We will do one more cycle of Clomid + TI before moving on to IUI, which we will start when we get home from England in June. The only thing positive about not being pregnant this month is that I can go visit when my newest niece or nephew is born in October. Oh--and I can drink at the CAV Ball we're going to on Saturday. Drowning my sorrows in the Grog Bowl sounds like a good idea.
I'm not really sure how I feel anymore. I'm kind of numb to the entire thing, I think. Perhaps I'm numb simply because it hurts too much to actually let myself feel anything whether it be anger, frustration or sadness. Frustration--that's an excellent way to describe this entire process.
Having a diagnosis of "Unexplained infertility with fertilization issues (insert WTF)" is incredibly frustrating. I just want answers. I really wish I had a doctor who could sit me down and say "This is why you're not getting pregnant and this is what we should do to possibly achieve pregnancy." Wishful thinking.
2+ years of TTC, I'm exhausted and we haven't even really started "treatments" yet. I'm afraid to feel hopeful anymore.
Our trip to England is getting closer and closer though. We received our passports two weeks ago, Mike's attended his "anti-terrorism" briefing (Really, they handing him a packet of paperwork with a summary of crime reports in the UK and a list of all the embassies and consulates-ha.) I've made a bucket list of things that we want to see and do but that's about as far as it's gone. Mike and I are incredibly busy right now and we can't wait for our vacation. I will miss my fur kids a LOT but it will be so nice to just get away for awhile.
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