Dec 21, 2010
I Realized Something Horrible Today.
Something horrible. If I don't get pregnant in the next six months, there is a very good chance that Mike will not be here for the birth of a baby. He will be in the dreaded A-stan. =(
Dec 20, 2010
What a Shocker
AF just came so I called the IF clinic to schedule my hysteroscopy. No surprise but they can't get me in this month. What a shock. =(
Mike and I are going to make an appointment with the Tricare office on post next week to discuss switching our insurance so that we can start seeing a civilian RE. I'm tired of dealing with the IF clinic on post. As if the IF roller coaster wasn't enough, a shitty RE's office make it 1000 times worse.
Does anyone have any experience with Tricare Standard? Any advice?
Mike and I are going to make an appointment with the Tricare office on post next week to discuss switching our insurance so that we can start seeing a civilian RE. I'm tired of dealing with the IF clinic on post. As if the IF roller coaster wasn't enough, a shitty RE's office make it 1000 times worse.
Does anyone have any experience with Tricare Standard? Any advice?
Double You Tee Eff.
I am so beyond frustrated with the IF clinic at Madigan. On December 6 Mike and I had a followup appointment with the RE. This was the "HSG followup appointment" from when I had my HSG IN OCTOBER!
After waiting almost an hour past our scheduled appointment time we finally got called back. The resident doc came in and asked me what I knew so far and I said that the techs told me my HSG was all clear. She told me that they were wrong. Actually, she said "Well, they lied." How sensitive. My TUBES are clear but the HSG revealed a mass in my uterus, right near my cervix. She said it looks like scar tissue but she can't be sure because she's never seen anything like it. It is puzzling though because there is no reason for me to have scar tissue since I've never had a miscarriage or D&C or anything like that. Next step is to have a hysteroscopy next cycle for them to take a look. She said there's a 30% chance they won't find anything but if they do I will need to have a laproscopy to remove whatever they find. So the preliminary diagnosis is a uterine septum. I was happy to to finally have a preliminary diagnosis but it was still pretty upsetting.
On 8 December I called the IF clinic because I wanted to ask some questions and find out exactly what the radiologist's report said. A nurse called me back and I asked her what the radiologist report said and she said they think I have a small polyp or fibroid. They still want to do the hysteroscopy to take a better look at things. I said, "okay...well the doc said she'd never seen anything like it so that had me concerned." The nurse said "oh no...we see things like this all the time. we just want to take a better look at it and it's possible it will go away with your next cycle. " So I said, "okay well she was talking about a uterine septum." She said "No, it's nothing like that."
I hate Army doctors. WHY didn't someone call me sooner? As in some time between October 31 and December 6. That would have been nice.They were totally going to let me start Clomid last month had it not been for my trip out of state. Idiots!
So...that's where we are. According to the doctor, I have some 'never-before-seen' unknown mass in my uterus that could be preventing me from getting pregnant. According to the nurse I could possibly have a small polyp or fibroid. Either way, I still get to let these people, who I have TOTAL faith in (note sarcasm) shove a camera where no man has gone before. Merry Christmas, Megan!
After waiting almost an hour past our scheduled appointment time we finally got called back. The resident doc came in and asked me what I knew so far and I said that the techs told me my HSG was all clear. She told me that they were wrong. Actually, she said "Well, they lied." How sensitive. My TUBES are clear but the HSG revealed a mass in my uterus, right near my cervix. She said it looks like scar tissue but she can't be sure because she's never seen anything like it. It is puzzling though because there is no reason for me to have scar tissue since I've never had a miscarriage or D&C or anything like that. Next step is to have a hysteroscopy next cycle for them to take a look. She said there's a 30% chance they won't find anything but if they do I will need to have a laproscopy to remove whatever they find. So the preliminary diagnosis is a uterine septum. I was happy to to finally have a preliminary diagnosis but it was still pretty upsetting.
On 8 December I called the IF clinic because I wanted to ask some questions and find out exactly what the radiologist's report said. A nurse called me back and I asked her what the radiologist report said and she said they think I have a small polyp or fibroid. They still want to do the hysteroscopy to take a better look at things. I said, "okay...well the doc said she'd never seen anything like it so that had me concerned." The nurse said "oh no...we see things like this all the time. we just want to take a better look at it and it's possible it will go away with your next cycle. " So I said, "okay well she was talking about a uterine septum." She said "No, it's nothing like that."
I hate Army doctors. WHY didn't someone call me sooner? As in some time between October 31 and December 6. That would have been nice.They were totally going to let me start Clomid last month had it not been for my trip out of state. Idiots!
So...that's where we are. According to the doctor, I have some 'never-before-seen' unknown mass in my uterus that could be preventing me from getting pregnant. According to the nurse I could possibly have a small polyp or fibroid. Either way, I still get to let these people, who I have TOTAL faith in (note sarcasm) shove a camera where no man has gone before. Merry Christmas, Megan!
Nov 2, 2010
Not this month!
Okay, they are going to let me start the clomid without a followup appointment with the RE but I'm running into problems since I am going out of state for the holiday. They are telling me I should probably just wait another month before starting Clomid, especially since it is my first cycle. She asked me if there was a reason I was so determined to start Clomid next month and I explained to her that we were just anxious because we had already been trying so long. I felt pretty stupid when I was explaining my reasoning--like a crazy infertile unmyrtle. :(
According to FF my period is supposed to start on 25 November. I am flying out of state on November 24th. The RE requires me to take a pregnancy test on CD1 so I was thinking about fibbing a little and going on the 23rd before I leave. I would have to call the RE's office and tell them that I started my period and then they will put in the Rx for the Clomid at the same time that they put in the order for the pregnancy test. Obviously I wouldn't actually start the clomid until I have full red flow but they have to cover their butts, I guess. The only issue now is that I have to be here to do an u/s on CD 12 and if I tell them that CD1 is the 23rd then that messes up the timing for my CD12 u/s since I will be out of state. Confused yet? :)
So yeah...it looks like I have to wait another month. :( Maybe I'll get that ever illusive post-HSG BFP this month. Here's hoping!
According to FF my period is supposed to start on 25 November. I am flying out of state on November 24th. The RE requires me to take a pregnancy test on CD1 so I was thinking about fibbing a little and going on the 23rd before I leave. I would have to call the RE's office and tell them that I started my period and then they will put in the Rx for the Clomid at the same time that they put in the order for the pregnancy test. Obviously I wouldn't actually start the clomid until I have full red flow but they have to cover their butts, I guess. The only issue now is that I have to be here to do an u/s on CD 12 and if I tell them that CD1 is the 23rd then that messes up the timing for my CD12 u/s since I will be out of state. Confused yet? :)
So yeah...it looks like I have to wait another month. :( Maybe I'll get that ever illusive post-HSG BFP this month. Here's hoping!
Oct 29, 2010
Out of the IF Closet!
I'll be leaving in a few hours for my HSG. I'm really nervous--not necessarily about the procedure but more about receiving bad news.
I came out on Facebook this morning. This is HUGE for me. If you've been reading my blog long you know that being in the infertility closet is something I have been struggling with for a long time.
See More My status was up for about an hour before I received my first "just relax" comment which I deleted too hastily out of anger. I should have left it up and responded with something snarky. Seriously--TWENTY-TWO MONTHS OF TRYING and you're going to tell me to RELAX? Luckily I have received a lot of positive feedback which makes me feel great.
I came out on Facebook this morning. This is HUGE for me. If you've been reading my blog long you know that being in the infertility closet is something I have been struggling with for a long time.
***** is tired of suffering in silence and is coming out of the infertility closet. After 22 months of trying to become parents, Mike and I pursuing fertility treatments. Today I am having some testing done and am praying for good results. I promise to spare you the gritty details of our journey and the goings-on of our rep...roductive organs but as for your prayers and support as we get through this! ♥ Disclaimer: Please read the following article before commenting.
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
I can't wait for this test to be over and to have a great Halloween weekend. Last year sucked--I was mourning the loss of my kitters, Prince, and I had swine flu. The year before that I sat in a dark house hiding from trick-or-treaters while Mike was in Iraq. This year....we will party like Seattleites.
Oct 22, 2010
HSG Scheduled
I was so afraid to make the phone call to schedule my HSG for fear of being told "Sorry, we have no availability" for the second month in a row. BUT next Friday, the 29th at 1:30 I will have my HSG! Thursday I have to go in for a pregnancy test and start some antibiotics. I should have the results by Tuesday. If it comes back all clear then I will start clomid on the next cycle!
Fertility drugs and a trip to Walt Disney World...not sure how those who will mix.
It's a crazy feeling. FINALLY knowing that we are taking steps toward having a family of our own. It's so exciting!
Fertility drugs and a trip to Walt Disney World...not sure how those who will mix.
It's a crazy feeling. FINALLY knowing that we are taking steps toward having a family of our own. It's so exciting!
Oct 6, 2010
Emotions.
Do you have any idea what it's like to feel so happy for someone else while at the same time be completely sad for yourself?
This is how I felt when I received these pictures from Mike, who is still TDY to Fort Drum. Friends of ours had their second baby while he was there and he got to see her when she was a few days old. These pictures made me cry. Mike had a difficult time seeing her and he said it was hard. He's such a macho man that I forget how muchour my our infertility hurts him too. I can't wait for the time to come when I'll be able to share pictures of Mike holding our own baby.
This is how I felt when I received these pictures from Mike, who is still TDY to Fort Drum. Friends of ours had their second baby while he was there and he got to see her when she was a few days old. These pictures made me cry. Mike had a difficult time seeing her and he said it was hard. He's such a macho man that I forget how much
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