Okay, they are going to let me start the clomid without a followup appointment with the RE but I'm running into problems since I am going out of state for the holiday. They are telling me I should probably just wait another month before starting Clomid, especially since it is my first cycle. She asked me if there was a reason I was so determined to start Clomid next month and I explained to her that we were just anxious because we had already been trying so long. I felt pretty stupid when I was explaining my reasoning--like a crazy infertile unmyrtle. :(
According to FF my period is supposed to start on 25 November. I am flying out of state on November 24th. The RE requires me to take a pregnancy test on CD1 so I was thinking about fibbing a little and going on the 23rd before I leave. I would have to call the RE's office and tell them that I started my period and then they will put in the Rx for the Clomid at the same time that they put in the order for the pregnancy test. Obviously I wouldn't actually start the clomid until I have full red flow but they have to cover their butts, I guess. The only issue now is that I have to be here to do an u/s on CD 12 and if I tell them that CD1 is the 23rd then that messes up the timing for my CD12 u/s since I will be out of state. Confused yet? :)
So yeah...it looks like I have to wait another month. :( Maybe I'll get that ever illusive post-HSG BFP this month. Here's hoping!
Nov 2, 2010
Oct 29, 2010
Out of the IF Closet!
I'll be leaving in a few hours for my HSG. I'm really nervous--not necessarily about the procedure but more about receiving bad news.
I came out on Facebook this morning. This is HUGE for me. If you've been reading my blog long you know that being in the infertility closet is something I have been struggling with for a long time.
See More My status was up for about an hour before I received my first "just relax" comment which I deleted too hastily out of anger. I should have left it up and responded with something snarky. Seriously--TWENTY-TWO MONTHS OF TRYING and you're going to tell me to RELAX? Luckily I have received a lot of positive feedback which makes me feel great.
I came out on Facebook this morning. This is HUGE for me. If you've been reading my blog long you know that being in the infertility closet is something I have been struggling with for a long time.
***** is tired of suffering in silence and is coming out of the infertility closet. After 22 months of trying to become parents, Mike and I pursuing fertility treatments. Today I am having some testing done and am praying for good results. I promise to spare you the gritty details of our journey and the goings-on of our rep...roductive organs but as for your prayers and support as we get through this! ♥ Disclaimer: Please read the following article before commenting.
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
I can't wait for this test to be over and to have a great Halloween weekend. Last year sucked--I was mourning the loss of my kitters, Prince, and I had swine flu. The year before that I sat in a dark house hiding from trick-or-treaters while Mike was in Iraq. This year....we will party like Seattleites.
Oct 22, 2010
HSG Scheduled
I was so afraid to make the phone call to schedule my HSG for fear of being told "Sorry, we have no availability" for the second month in a row. BUT next Friday, the 29th at 1:30 I will have my HSG! Thursday I have to go in for a pregnancy test and start some antibiotics. I should have the results by Tuesday. If it comes back all clear then I will start clomid on the next cycle!
Fertility drugs and a trip to Walt Disney World...not sure how those who will mix.
It's a crazy feeling. FINALLY knowing that we are taking steps toward having a family of our own. It's so exciting!
Fertility drugs and a trip to Walt Disney World...not sure how those who will mix.
It's a crazy feeling. FINALLY knowing that we are taking steps toward having a family of our own. It's so exciting!
Oct 6, 2010
Emotions.
Do you have any idea what it's like to feel so happy for someone else while at the same time be completely sad for yourself?
This is how I felt when I received these pictures from Mike, who is still TDY to Fort Drum. Friends of ours had their second baby while he was there and he got to see her when she was a few days old. These pictures made me cry. Mike had a difficult time seeing her and he said it was hard. He's such a macho man that I forget how muchour my our infertility hurts him too. I can't wait for the time to come when I'll be able to share pictures of Mike holding our own baby.
This is how I felt when I received these pictures from Mike, who is still TDY to Fort Drum. Friends of ours had their second baby while he was there and he got to see her when she was a few days old. These pictures made me cry. Mike had a difficult time seeing her and he said it was hard. He's such a macho man that I forget how much
Sep 29, 2010
Hello Cycle 20.
I'm sitting here crying right now. My temp dropped this morning and I have light flow. The ONLY reason I was okay with getting my period this month is because I knew I could call to schedule the HSG.
I called the IF clinic and she said because of the holiday weekend (i.e. post wide training holiday) they are only doing the procedures one day next week and they're completely booked. The first available appointment is Oct 12, which is passed the window of opportunity for this month. That means I have to wait another month to have my HSG. I am so disappointed and frustrated. I felt so hopeful for next cycle and the wind has just been completely knocked out of my sails. I know I am fortunate to receive free healthcare but working around the Army's schedule just sucks!
What's to say that there won't be another training holiday in November and so on and so forth? Ugh. I feel so let down.
Hello cycle 20. =(
I called the IF clinic and she said because of the holiday weekend (i.e. post wide training holiday) they are only doing the procedures one day next week and they're completely booked. The first available appointment is Oct 12, which is passed the window of opportunity for this month. That means I have to wait another month to have my HSG. I am so disappointed and frustrated. I felt so hopeful for next cycle and the wind has just been completely knocked out of my sails. I know I am fortunate to receive free healthcare but working around the Army's schedule just sucks!
What's to say that there won't be another training holiday in November and so on and so forth? Ugh. I feel so let down.
Hello cycle 20. =(
Sep 20, 2010
First RE Visit
I arrived at MAMC (the hospital on Lewis) and, as usual, it was jam packed. I parked in the first spot I could find--which happened to be the second to last furthest one away from the hospital. I practically run inside since I only have 15 minutes until my appointment is supposed to start. I went in the door that I always go in and ask the little retiree in the red vest if he could please direct me to the infertility clinic? He tells me it's in the main part of the hospital and that I have to go all the way down a hallway, make a left, and take the elevator to the third floor. Again, I practically start running. I get on the elevator and get off on the third floor--there are no hallways or desks or anything, just a maintenance closet. I get back on the elevator and ask a nurse if he could tell me where the IF clinic is...he doesn't know. I ask a Resident and she can't help me either because she hasn't had a 3rd floor rotation yet. I get on a different elevator and just start walking around on the 3rd floor until I find a sign--"Infertility THAT WAY." I finally found the check in desk at 1328--my appointment was scheduled for 1330. It's a damn good thing I have long legs or I would have never made it!
I got called back by a nurse pretty quickly which was great because I was worried about waiting 2+ hours the way Mike and I did for his ortho appointment. I waited a few minutes until two residents (2LTs) came in the room to take my history. Sometimes I really dislike being seen at a teaching hospital. He sat down and said, "Tell me about your history." I'm pretty sure it was like opening the gates for a race horse--I unloaded and probably talked for 5 minutes straight without letting him get a word in. :) I'm not sure if I intimidated him or what but when I handed him my charts and said, "See? I ovulate on my own and I'm just not getting pregnant!" he looked at my charts with a confused face and immediately handed them back to me. Okay...thanks. I'm so glad I took 20 minutes of my time this morning to print all of these out for you to not even look at. Maybe it's because he's suprised that I had already been charting--I know that is one of the first things they will counsel a couple on upon arrival in their clinic. They will suggest charting and intercourse timing before testing so luckily we get to bypass that step. The other annoying thing was that he asked me the same exact questions I had to fill out on the IF Clinic Intake Form--sexual history, medical history, periods, past pregnancies, etc. Mike and I filled it out together before he went TDY. If they're not going to read it, why did they make me fill it out? When he asked if we drank alcohol I replied, "Well...it is football season." :)After taking my history they went to talk to the doctor and they decided to do a vaginal ultrasound. Luckily I had already, ahem, prepared for this possibility and made sure everything was nice and groomed.
I really liked that Dr. C explained everything to me as he was performing the ultrasound. He took some measurements of my ovaries, told me that I probably ovulated from my right side this month, and that everything appears to be normal. There is some fluid surrounding my uterus which he says they will keep an eye on but is nothing to be overly concerned about. I asked him about having blood work done and he said that the blood panel requested by my OB/GYN (in June after the ovarian cyst was discovered) showed normal hormone levels. I asked him if it mattered that the blood was drawn at a random point in my cycle and he said no because everything was within normal ranges. He said there may be a need in the future for CD3 and CD21 blood work but they are not ordering it at this time.
The next step is to wait for my period to start and then call to schedule an HSG--the test where a catheter is used to inject dye into my fallopian tubes to check for blockages. Obviously we need to make sure I am not pregnant before doing this test so I get to play the waiting game for a few weeks. If that comes back all clear, Dr. C said we will discuss trying out some treatments/drugs to stimulate follicle growth in order to increase our chances of achieving pregnancy! That's the game plan for now! I'm glad to finally have the ball rolling and now I can move on to stressing about the HSG. Ha.
I got called back by a nurse pretty quickly which was great because I was worried about waiting 2+ hours the way Mike and I did for his ortho appointment. I waited a few minutes until two residents (2LTs) came in the room to take my history. Sometimes I really dislike being seen at a teaching hospital. He sat down and said, "Tell me about your history." I'm pretty sure it was like opening the gates for a race horse--I unloaded and probably talked for 5 minutes straight without letting him get a word in. :) I'm not sure if I intimidated him or what but when I handed him my charts and said, "See? I ovulate on my own and I'm just not getting pregnant!" he looked at my charts with a confused face and immediately handed them back to me. Okay...thanks. I'm so glad I took 20 minutes of my time this morning to print all of these out for you to not even look at. Maybe it's because he's suprised that I had already been charting--I know that is one of the first things they will counsel a couple on upon arrival in their clinic. They will suggest charting and intercourse timing before testing so luckily we get to bypass that step. The other annoying thing was that he asked me the same exact questions I had to fill out on the IF Clinic Intake Form--sexual history, medical history, periods, past pregnancies, etc. Mike and I filled it out together before he went TDY. If they're not going to read it, why did they make me fill it out? When he asked if we drank alcohol I replied, "Well...it is football season." :)After taking my history they went to talk to the doctor and they decided to do a vaginal ultrasound. Luckily I had already, ahem, prepared for this possibility and made sure everything was nice and groomed.
I really liked that Dr. C explained everything to me as he was performing the ultrasound. He took some measurements of my ovaries, told me that I probably ovulated from my right side this month, and that everything appears to be normal. There is some fluid surrounding my uterus which he says they will keep an eye on but is nothing to be overly concerned about. I asked him about having blood work done and he said that the blood panel requested by my OB/GYN (in June after the ovarian cyst was discovered) showed normal hormone levels. I asked him if it mattered that the blood was drawn at a random point in my cycle and he said no because everything was within normal ranges. He said there may be a need in the future for CD3 and CD21 blood work but they are not ordering it at this time.
The next step is to wait for my period to start and then call to schedule an HSG--the test where a catheter is used to inject dye into my fallopian tubes to check for blockages. Obviously we need to make sure I am not pregnant before doing this test so I get to play the waiting game for a few weeks. If that comes back all clear, Dr. C said we will discuss trying out some treatments/drugs to stimulate follicle growth in order to increase our chances of achieving pregnancy! That's the game plan for now! I'm glad to finally have the ball rolling and now I can move on to stressing about the HSG. Ha.
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| The torture chamber. |
Sep 19, 2010
Think of Me!
I've spent the last hour trying to find a witty, inspirational quote that could pertain to infertility and uplift my spirits in preparation for tomorrow. I hope that I am able to keep it together and don't turn into a big bag of tears when I start talking to the doctor. I ask that you, the people I affectionately call my stalkers, say a prayer for me tomorrow. It's a big day for us and I keep thinking that this day could change my life forever. Thanks in advance!
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.-Pope John XXIII
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. -John F. Kennedy
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do.-Pope John XXIII
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. -John F. Kennedy
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